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Birds are majestic animals. However, they can also be very funny animals. With that in mind, check out the top 101 bird jokes that will have you squawking with laughter.
Table of Contents
#101 – 9. Bird Jokes
101. Q: Which bird is at every meal? A: The swallow.
100. Q: What do you call a chicken in the 1960’s? A: A funky chicken.
99. Q: What do you call a bird with a black belt? A: Steven Seagull.
98. What bird doesn’t need a comb? bald eagles
97. Q: What kind of bird runs the church? A: A cardinal!
96. Q: How many cans does it take to make a bird? A: Two cans.
95. Q: Why did the owl, owl? A: Because the woodpecker would peck ‘er!
94. Q: What kind of birds do you usually find locked up? A: Jail-birds!
93. Q: Did you hear about the seabird that was friends with a black cat? A: It was an albatross.
92. What’s green and pecks on trees? Woody the Wood Pickle.
91. Q: What kind of math do birds like? A: Owlgebra.
90. Q: What do you call a very rude bird? A: A mockingbird!
#89 – 80. Bird Jokes
89. Q: What did the gamekeeper say to the lord of the manor? A: ‘The pheasants are revolting’!
88. Q: What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek? A: Fowl play!
87. Q: What kind of bird doesn’t need a comb? A: A bald eagle.
86. Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark? A: A bird that will talk you ear off!
85. Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea? A: Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be baygulls!
84. Q: What do you call a bird that kicks your butt? A: Steven Seagull.
83. Q: What bird is helpful at dinner? A: A swallow!
82. Girl: One of my ex-boyfriends sounds like an owl. Boy: Who?
81. Q: How many birds does it take to change a light bulb? A: Toucan do it.
80. Q : What did the Eagle say when he was cold? A: Birrrrrd.
#79 – 70. Bird Jokes
79. “Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “Cakatoo” “Cakatoo who?” “So you’re a Rooster now?”
78. Why does the bird bring toilet paper to the party? Because he is a party pooper.
77. A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realised that toucan play a game.
76. Q: What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? A: Shredded tweet.
75. Q: What birds spend all their time on their knees? A: Birds of prey!
74. Q: Why did the bird get a ticket? A: It broke the law of gravity!
73. Q: Which bird is always out of breath? A: A puffin!
72. Q: What happens when ducks fly upside down? A: They quack up!
71. Q: When does a teacher carry birdseed? A: When there is a parrot-teacher conference!
70. Why couldn’t anyone see the bird? Because it was in da sky’s
#69 – 60. Bird Jokes
69. My pet bird can predict the future. He’s an omen pigeon.
68. Q: Where does bird royalty live? A: Duckingham Palace.
67. I published a book about birds. It flew off the shelf.
66. Q: What is the most uncomfortable of all birds? A: The Wedgie-tailed eagle.
65. What do birds like about outside? Debris.
64. Q: What bird can you buy at the grocery store? A: A kiwi
63. What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
62. Q: How do you get a parrot to talk properly? A: Send him to polytechnic!
61. Q: Why couldn’t anyone see the bird? A: Because it was in da skies! (disguise)
60. Q: Where do blind sparrows go for treatment? A: The Birds Eye counter!
#59 – 50. Bird Jokes
59. Q: What is the definition of Robin? A: A bird who steals! Q: What do you give a sick bird? A: Tweetment!
58. Q: Why do seagulls like to live by the sea? A: Because if they lived by the bay they would be bagels!
57. Q: How did the bird break into the house? A: With a crow bar.
56. Q: What do you get when you cross a cat with a parrot? A: A carrot.
55. Q: What do you get if you kiss a bird? A: A peck on the cheek!
54. Q: What is a hawks favorite show? A: Bird “House of Cards”.
53. Q: There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll? A: Roosters don’t lay eggs!
52. Q: How do blue jays stay fit? A: Wormups.
51. Q: How do you catch a unique bird? A: Unique up on it.
50. Q: What did the sick chicken say? A: Oh no! I have the people-pox!
#49 – 40. Bird Jokes
49. If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot how many are there still on the fence? None the rest fly away
48. Q: What does a farmer call an escaped bird? A: a loose goose.
47. Q: Why do scientists think humming birds hum? A: Because they can’t remember the words!
46. Q: Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? A: Because he had a very big bill.
45. Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework? A: A firequaker!
44. Q: Why did the wolf cross the road? A: To eat the chicken.
43. Q: What do you call a crate of ducks? A: A box of quackers!
42. Q: What flies through the jungle singing opera? A: The parrots of Penzance!
41. How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely? With its sparrowchute.
40. Q: What is a duck’s favorite TV show? A: The feather forecast!
#39 – 30. Bird Jokes
39. Q: What kind of bird works at a construction site? A: The crane!
38. Q: What do you call a sick eagle? A: Illegal
37. Q: Why do hummingbirds hum? A: Because they forgot the words!
36. What’s the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? – For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
35. Q: What does a bird like in his soup? A: Crowtons.
34. Q: What did the maple tree say to the woodpecker? A: Leaf me alone!
33. Q: What is a parrot’s favorite game? A: Hide and Speak!
32. Q: What do you get when you cross an owl and an oyster? A: Pearls of Wisdom
31. Q: What books did the owl like? A: Hoot-dunits!
30. Q: What bird movie won an Oscar? A: Lord of the Wings.
#29 – 20. Bird Jokes
29. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
28. Q: What is black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? A: A penguin rolling down a hill
27. Why did the doves miss the wedding? They were under the feather.
26. Q: Where do birds invest their money? A: In the stork market!
25. Q: What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu? A: If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.
24. Which birds are good at holding things together? Velcrows.
23. Why are birds good at social media? Because they ‘tweet’ all the time!!!?
22. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.
21. Q: What do you give a sick bird? A: Tweetment!
20. Q: What’s another name for a clever duck? A: A wise quacker!
#19 – 10. Bird Jokes
19. Q: How do you catch a tame bird? A: The tame way, unique up on it!
18. Q: What do you do if a bird shits on your car? A: Don’t ask her out again.
17. Q: What do you call a duck on drugs? A: a quackhead
16. Q: Why did the parrot wear a raincoat? A: Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated!
15. Why does a stork stand on one leg? Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
14. Q: How do you know that owls are cleverer than chickens? A: Have you ever heard of Kentucky-fried owl!
13. What do you call a sad bird? A bluebird.
12. Q: What is black and white and black and white and black and white and…? A: A penguin falling down the stairs!
11. Q: How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely? A: With its sparrowchute.
10. Q: What language do birds speak? A: Pigeon English!
#9 – 1. Bird Jokes
9. Q: What is a polygon? A: A dead parrot!
8. Q: What is green and pecks on trees? A: Woody the Wood Pickle.
7. Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole? He wanted to make a long distance caw.
6. Q: Which bird is always sad? A: The blue bird
5. Q: How do you get a cut-price parrot? A: Plant bird seed!
4. Q: What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish? A: Tweetie Pie!
3. Q: What language do geese speak? A: Porchageese
2. What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff.
1. Q: Why did the turkey cross the road? A: It was the chicken’s day off.
Ideas for the top 101 funny bird jokes were taken from the following sources.[1]Ducksters – Bird Joke[2]Jokes 4 Us – Bird Joke[3]Funology – Bird Joke[4]LaffGaff – Funny Bird Jokes & Puns[5]Worst Jokes Ever – Bird Joke[6]Fun Kids Jokes – Bird Joke for Kids
