Top 13 Coast Guard Jokes

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The coast guard is not often thought of as part of the military; however, they are one of the eight branches of the US military. With that in mind, check out the top 13 coast guard jokes.

#13 – 10. Coast Guard Jokes

13. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the coast guard? No. Well I have. The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself!

12. The Coast Guard recently changed their minimum height requirements to 6′. That way if the boat sinks everyone can just walk to shore.

11. A British ship is sinking in the north sea and calls the nearest coast guard station. The German coast guard station gets the message, RMS sea lion taking on water and we are sinking. A minute passes and they get a response….Vell, vat are you sinking about?

10. What did the sailor say to the other when they had a problem? We are in the same boat.

#9 – 1. Coast Guard Jokes

9. What does your Mom and the Bermuda Triangle have in common? They both swallow seamen.

8. What time is it when a whale runs into a Coast Guard ship? Time to get a new ship.

7. Where do Coast Guard seamen go when they get sick? The dock.

6. What’s the difference between a beach and a tarot deck? One has coast guards, the other has ghost cards.

5. The Coast Guard rescued a boat with 10 cats and one jumped out. How many were left? None, because they were copycats!

4. Why couldn’t the Coast Guard save the hippie? He was too far out man!

3. What did the Navy say to the coast guards? “I’ll SEAL you later”

2. A ship radios the German coast guard Ship: Help we are sinking! German coast guard: wot are you sinking about?

1. A distress call comes in to Pierre at the Maine coast guard: “mayday mayday. We’re 12 miles out on a capsized boat.” “no can do” Pierre said, “We’ve got all we can do searching for regular-sized boats.”

Ideas for the top 13 coast guard jokes come from the following sources.^[1]jokes4us – coast guard joke^[2]upjoke – coast guard joke