Top 24 Old Jokes

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Just because you get old doesn’t mean that you aren’t still funny. With that in mind, check out the top 24 old jokes.

#24 – 20. Old Jokes

24. Pastry chefs know that old age crepes up on you.

23. Patient: “Doctor, you have to help me, I think I can see in the future.” Doctor: “When did it start?” Patient: “Next Friday.”

22. Do old-time hockey players get gerihat-tricks?

21. You know what the young chicken said the old, “You’re no spring chicken!”

20. Only old people watch the Grammy Awards.

#19 – 10. Old Jokes

19. The old man moved to Hawaii to live the life of a dentured surfing dude.

18. If my body were a car I would trade it in a newer model…every time I cough sneeze or sputter my radiant leaks and my exhaust backfires.

17. I told my physical therapist I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

16. Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.

15. These are not gray hairs! They are wisdom highlights! I happen to be very wise.

14. Aging gracefully is like the nice way of saying you’re slowly looking worse.

13. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

12. The old baker understands aging, she’s an old tarte!

11. The old folks home was very secure. Each door was guarded by a century.

10. You know you’re getting older when you have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.

#9 – 1. Old Jokes

9. I just saw a grandpa help a youngster who was staring into his phone, to cross the street.

8. What goes up but never comes down? Your age!

7. At my age, the only pole dancing I do is to hold on to the safety bar in the bathtub.

6. How are stars like false teeth? They both come out at night!

5. Why am I getting older and wider instead of older and wiser?

4. The older we get, the earlier it gets late.

3. If you lose something in an old-age home, don’t stop until you’ve searched every nook and granny.

2. You may be old, but I don’t carrot all!

1. Allow me to politely suggest this be the year you start lying about your age.

Ideas for the top 24 old jokes come from the following sources.^[1]BestLife – 30 Hilarious Jokes & Puns About Getting Older^[2]Scary Mommy – Best Jokes for Seniors