Top 31 Peanut Jokes

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Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are one of the most American foods. With that in mind, check out the top 31 peanut jokes.

#31 – 30. Peanut Jokes

31. Why did the man with the peanut allergy die in prison? He was sentenced to the nuthouse.

30. Q: Where did the peanuts go to have a few drinks? A: The Snack Bar! Two peanuts were walking down a road One was assaulted

#29 – 20. Peanut Jokes

29. Q: What kind of socks do you need to plant peanuts? A: Garden hose!

28. Q: What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit? A: An astronut!

27. ALDI grocery stores have announced their new store brand peanuts. ALDI’s nuts

26. Q: What did the apple say to the peanuts? A: You’re Nuts!

25. Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant? A: Nothing, peanuts can’t talk

24. A peanut told a bad joke at a party Everyone at the party roasted him On the other hand, a cheeto’s bad joke resulted in him becoming the president of the United States

23. I fed this kid peanut and he almost died. I guess some people take No Nut November way too seriously.

22. Q: Why did the man smear peanut butter on the road? A: To go with the traffic jam.

21. What do you call a peanut with a cold? Cashew!

20. Q: Why did the peanuts run across the busy road? A: Because they were nuts!

#19 – 10. Peanut Jokes

19. Why did the peanut never come to school? Because everyone was allergic to him.

18. Two peanuts were walking down the road…Suddenly a robber jumped out and one was assalted

17. Q: Where do peanut drivers go to fill their tanks? A: The Shell station!

16. What did the aggressive walnut say to the group of peanuts? You better hope I don’t cashew outside!!

15. Q: What kind of nuts hang? A: wallnuts.

14. Q: What’s the difference between peanut butter and jam? A) I can’t peanut butter my cock down your throat!

13. What do you call a nut that has to pee? Answer: Peenut

12. Q: Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter? A: I’m not telling you. You might spread it!

11. Why did the peanut go to the police? Because he was a salted

10. Q: Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road? A: Because she’s nuts!

#9 – 1. Peanut Jokes

9. Q: What is another name for a kidney-stone? A: A pee-nut!

8. Q: How do you catch an elephant? A: Hide in the grass and make a sound like a peanut!

7. I once got in a rap battle with a peanut. He was roasted.

6. What did the peanut say to the moon? Nothing.. Peanuts don’t speak..

5. Why did Mr. Peanut go to the hospital? He was a salted

4. What do peanuts wear on their feet? Cashews

3. Q: Why did the blonde smear peanut butter on the road? A: To go with the traffic jam.

2. Q. How is a dumb blonde like peanut butter? A. They spread for the bread.

1. Q: Why are people in Illinois having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Because they’re sending their turkey to the White House!

Ideas for the top 31 peanut jokes come from the following sources.^[1]upjoke – peanut joke^[2]joke4us – peanut joke^[3]quick, funny jokes! – peanut joke^[4]jokojokes – THE BEST 88 PEANUT JOKE^[5]Food Jokes – Funny peanut joke^[6]punstoppable – peanut puns