Top 38 Tom Brady Jokes

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Tom Brady is one of the most famous and successful football players of all time. With that in mind, check out the top 38 Tom Brady jokes.

#38 – 30. Tom Brady Jokes

38. Le’Veon Bell, Josh Gordon and Tom Brady walk into a bar To watch the first 4 weeks of the NFL season

37. Tom Brady got punished more than Ray Rice because he beat a whole team

36. Tom Brady told me he’s on a diet. Well, he didn’t actually say diet. He said Sundays are his cheat day, but I can read between the lines.

35. Tom Brady, Hilary Clinton, and Urban Meyer walk into a bar. None of them can get an Uber home because they’ve all destroyed their cell phones.

34. How does Tom Brady have a bad haircut before every game? He always asks for the Super ‘Bowl Cut’.

33. Tom Brady’s so old…He won his first Superbowl in standard definition.

32. Tom Brady is a very polarizing sports figure. On one hand, he has FIVE super bowl rings. But on the other hand, he only has one.

31. What do Tom Brady and prostitutes have in common? They both deflate Robert Krafts balls

30. After the Super Bowl, Tom Brady tried to mug me. He grabbed me and lifted me off the ground. Luckily, he fumbled me and I got away.

#29 – 20. Tom Brady Jokes

29. How does Tom Brady like his soda? Flat.

28. What’s Tom Brady’s favorite sport? Softball.

27. How will Tom Brady feel if the Patriots lose? Deflated.

26. Tom Brady is now offering subscriptions for his food regimen. I believe that’s called cheat day.

25. What did Tom Brady say when he lost the Superbowl? Man, that Ertz…

24. When it comes to trick plays, you have to hand it to Tom Brady…Literally. He can’t catch.

23. What do Tom Brady and Rhonda Rousey have in common? Both struggle to last longer than a minute with a Brazilian woman.

22. What’s the difference between Darth Vader and Tom Brady? Darth Vader probably gets high fived

21. Which presidential candidate does Tom Brady support? Whichever can reduce inflation.

20. Congratulations to Tom Brady, the first player to be undefeated over 5+ Super Bowls. He’s won all 5/7.

#19 – 10. Tom Brady Jokes

19. Tom Brady has 6 rings…and now he can destroy half the NFL with one snap

18. What’s the difference between Tom Brady and Lance Armstrong? Lance Armstrong cheats with only one deflated ball.

17. Tom Brady said he refuses to invest in bitcoin. Turns out he’s afraid of inflation.

16. What’s the difference between Chuck Schumer and Tom Brady Tom Brady is a Patriot and a winner.

15. What is Tom Brady’s favorite opera?Deflatermaus! (Die Fledermaus!)

14. Tom Brady must be a golfer Because golfers are known for their inability to count to four

13. Did you hear that Tom Brady is running for president? His platform is lowering inflation.

12. Why is Tom Brady always so optimistic? He sees the football as half full.

11. Why is Tom Brady against raising the federal minimum wage? He doesn’t want things to get too inflated.

10. Tom Brady is 5 times better than Nickelback He’s a quarterback

#9 – 1. Tom Brady Jokes

9. How did Tom Brady’s feel after losing to the Broncos? Deflated

8. What do Tom Brady and Robert Kraft still have in common? They go to Florida for happy endings

7. Tom Brady now has a perfect track record. He’s won 5/7 Superbowls he’s been in.

6. Well there’s definitely one word I can’t use to describe Tom Brady’s ego…Inflated.

5. Tom Brady missed his opportunity to head into retirement with a Superbowl win. You could say…He dropped the ball.

4. Why does Tom Brady hate investing cryptocurrancy Because it could lead to inflation.

3. How did Tom Brady get $2? He gets a buck n ear.

2. What does Tom Brady have to do if Giselle gets angry? Quarterback

1. Did you hear how much Tom Brady paid for his new piercings? A Buccaneer.

Ideas for the top 38 Tom Brady jokes come from the following sources.^[1]Upjoke – Tom Brady joke^[2]YellowJokes – Tom Brady joke