Top 42 Selfie Jokes

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All around you people are taking selfies. Sometimes it seems quite funny. With that in mind, check out the top 42 selfie jokes.

#42 – 40. Selfie Jokes

42. My boss caught me taking NSFW selfies during work. He told me to put on a mask.

41. I love taking photos of myself standing next to boiling water. My doctor says I have selfie steam issues.

40. Let’s call selfies what they really are Alonies

#39 – 30. Selfie Jokes

39. What’s a panda’s biggest life regret? Never had a selfie in color.

38. I took ten photos of myself in the shower, but hated them all. Turns out I have selfie-steam issues

37. Before camera phone…a selfie was another term for an hj.

36. Yo mama’s so fat….she has to upgrade her data plan every time she sends a selfie.

35. What is it called when an Orphan takes a selfie ? Family Photo.

34. What’s the difference between Peter Parker and Basic White Girls? Parker gets paid for his selfies.

33. I have a new word for vibrator …selfie stick

32. Some girl has stolen my phone and clicked naked selfies.My cloud is full of them now. Somebody help me find her I need to give her a charger too.

31. I want to take a shower selfie but the condensation keeps messing it up Guess I have selfie-steam issues

30. Where Do Vegetables Post Their Selfies? Instayam.

#29 – 20. Selfie Jokes

29. I texted my buddy ‘you free this evening?’ He texted back a selfie featuring his red, white and blue cap ‘I’m free every evening’

28. I dream of becoming a selfie photographer…I can just picture myself doing it.

27. On the bright side selfie sticks are also lightning rods.

26. The Arizona Wildlife World Zoo refused to euthanize the panther that killed a woman who jumped into its enclosure to take a selfie…making it the first black entity to ever successfully invoke the Castle Doctrine/Stand Your Ground against a white entity.

25. A man died due to his obsession of taking photos of himself next to a boiling kettle He had serious selfie steam issues.

24. Did you hear about the geometry teacher who tried to take a selfie? It was a protracted process but eventually he found the right angle.

23. An Instagram influencer walks into a bar They were too busy taking selfies.

22. I took a selfie with my uncle. Everyone behind us shook their heads. I never know how to behave at wakes.

21. “Siri, show me a joke.” Sir I “sure” Proceeds to open the selfie camera

20. Yo mama so fat…she took one selfie and her brand new phone said “Insufficient storage”.

#19 – 10. Selfie Jokes

19. For the New Year, I vow to take a selfie at 720p.m. It’s a decent resolution.

18. Why did the mathematician take so long to take a selfie? He couldn’t figure out acute angle.

17. Nothing like selling an old man your selfies in skin tight outfits, covering strangers with your sticky white goo, and taking compromising photos when they’re vulnerable. I sure loved the old Spiderman movies.

16. Your mama so fat one selfie and her phone says storage full.

15. If you find it hard to take pictures of yourself in the sauna…You have selfie-steam issues.

14. My friend is obsessed with taking blurry pictures of himself while taking a shower. He has serious selfie steam issues.

13. Did you hear about the ISIS graphic designer? He was handed some selfies and asked to blow them up.

12. People who use selfie sticks…Need to have a good, long look at themselves

11. To the person who stole my selfie stick: You need to take a long look at yourself.

10. How can you tell people on Tinder have no friends? Every profile pic is a selfie.

#9 – 1. Selfie Jokes

9. I’m working on a script about a mobster who attempts to reinvent himself as a professional photographer. I’m gonna call it…*The Selfie Made Man.*

8. Why was a midget depressed after taking a picture in front of a geyser? Low selfie-steam

7. Why thanos don’t like selfies ? Because everytime he makes a snap, half of his friend list disappear.

6. I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery hashtag nofilter

5. I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry He has selfie steam issues.

4. Yo mamma’s so fat…that she takes selfies in panorama mode

3. I just walked in on my boss jerking off to my selfies. That’s the last picture of Spider-Man I ever sell to the Daily Bugle.

2. My friend has a habit of taking blurry pictures of himself in the bathroom mirror after taking hot showers…I thunk he has a high selfie steam problem.

1. My friend told me that he stored his newest selfie on OneDrive. I told him to get his head out of the Cloud.

Ideas for the top 42 selfie jokes come from the following sources.^[1]upjoke – selfie joke^[2]Yellow Jokes – Selfie joke