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Dating is both a scary and wonderful time. However, you probably didn’t know that it can be very funny as well. With that in mind, check out the top 44 dating jokes.
Table of Contents
44 – 40. Dating Jokes
44. When I broke up with my girlfriend she started crying and said I was a self-centred bastard. You should’ve seen the look on my face.
43. Q. How can you tell if your boyfriend is happy? A. Who cares?
42. Pal: “My advice for your date is, make her think you’re well travelled, girls love it!” Me: “Guess how many buses it took me to get here.”
41. Q: What does a boyfriend and mascara have in common? A: They both run at the first sign of emotion.
40. Q: How does a boyfriend show he’s planning for thefuture? A: He buys an extra case of beer.
#39 – 30. Dating Jokes
39. I had been seeing this girl for a while and I thought I should take things further, “Tell me,” I said to her, “do you believe in sex after marriage?”
38. Girlfriend: Wanna see a magic trick? Boyfriend: Sure, babe. Girlfriend: BAM! You’re single.
37. My girlfriend said she wanted a perfect holiday, so I had to stay home!
36. Q: What’s a boyfriends idea of honesty in a relationship? A: Telling you his real name.
35. Q: Why are Boyfriends like parking spaces? A: The good ones are already taken!
34. Q: What do you call a boyfriend who Masterbates more than twice a day? A: A Terrorwrist
33. Q. How do you get your boyfriend to do sit-ups? A. Put the remote control between his toes.
32. A guy tells his friends: The girl I was dating broke my heart, so I broke her Apple iPhone 5. You all know who cried more
31. Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church… everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.
30. Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin on apenis? A: A Boyfriend.
#29 – 20. Dating Jokes
29. I asked my new girlfriend how many men she has slept with. She said, “Six. What about you?” I said, “None, I’m straight.”
28. My girlfriend asked, “Do you want to get married?” I said, “Sure.”She said, “Great, when?” I said, “Well like every other guy, when I meet the right girl.”
27. Q. When would you want a man’s company? A. When he owns it!
26. Q: What do you call a man made out of garbage? A: Your ex-boyfriend!
25. Q: What do a good employee and a boyfriend have in common? A: They’re always coming early.
24. Q: What is a major turnoff? A: When your boyfriend talks about his ex.
23. Q: What does a penis and a boyfriend have in common? A: All men have one!
22. I slipped some rohypnol into my girlfriends drink last night. It was the best six hours of my life. I finally got to play my PS4 without being interrupted
21. Q: Why does your boyfriend have a hole in their penis? A: So their brains can get some oxygen now and then.
20. Q. What type of ship has two mates but no captain? A. Arelationship.
#19 – 10. Dating Jokes
19. Q: How do boyfriends exercise on the beach? A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini
18. Q: What is the difference between motorbike and boyfriend? A: Well, bike is first kicked than used and boyfriend is first used than kicked.
17. Q: How many ex-boyfriends does it take to tile a bathroom? A: Two – if you slice them very thinly.
16. Q: What is the difference between a sofa and a boyfriend watching Monday Night Football? A: The sofa doesn’t keep asking for beer.
15. My boyfriend likes to eat vegetables that looks like him for dinner. Good thing he’s a cute-cumber.
14. Q: What’s a boyfriends definition of a romantic evening? A: Sex.
13. Q: Did you hear about the new “morning after” pill for boyfriends? A: It changes their DNA.
12. Q: What’s the difference between me and a calendar? A: A calendar has dates.
11. I just ended a long-term relationship today. I’m not too bothered, it wasn’t mine.
10. Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because itdoesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
#9 – 1. Dating Jokes
9. Q: Why are boyfriends like cars? A: Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming.
8. Q: What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a condom? A: Condoms have changed. They’re no longer thick and insensitive!
7. Do you know how to tell if your boyfriend is geting fat? He can wear your husbands clothes…
6. Q: How can you tell when your boyfriend is well hung? A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
5. If your girlfriend has a friend that annoys you, don’t tell her to stop being friends with her. Just casually mention how pretty she is.
4. My girlfriend’s dad asked me what I do. Apparently, “your daughter” wasn’t the answer he was looking for.
3. Q: Why do only 10 percent of boyfriends make it to heaven? A: Because if they all went, it would be called hell.
2. My girlfriend got a tattoo of a shell on her inner thigh Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the sea. If I lie there long enough, I get crabs on my forehead.
1.Q: What book do women like the most? A: “Their boyfriends paycheck!”
Ideas for the top 44 dating jokes were taken from the following sources.[1]Reader’s Digest – Relationship Jokes[2]Super Jokes – Dating Joke[3]UniJokes – Dating Joke
References