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Freedom is one of the most native of rights. According to the First Amendment of the United States you have the freedom of religion, freedom of speech, freedom of the press, the right to assembly and the right to petition the government. With that in mind, check out the top 51 freedom jokes.
Table of Contents
#51 – 50. Freedom Jokes
51. Shouting, “You’re all pathetic idiots!” to freedom of speech protesters…Soon changes their tone.
50. What do you eat on July 5th? Independence Day-Old-Pizza.
#49 – 40. Freedom Jokes
49. What did one flag say to the other flag? Nothing. It just waved.
48. What do you get when you cross Captain America with the Incredible Hulk? The Star-Spangled Banner.
47. What do you call tea that tastes like freedom? LiberTEA
46. I used to think the USA stood first and foremost for freedom and equality…Turns out it stands for United States of America
45. Why were the first Americans like ants? They lived in colonies.
44. What’s red, white, black and blue? Uncle Sam falling down the stairs.
43. What does the Statue of Liberty stand for? It can’t sit down.
42. TIL that yesterday was National Missing Children’s Day. Parents of reddit, what are you doing with all of your new found freedom?
41. My girlfriend said I didn’t respect her freedom enough. So I told her to stop rattling in her cage
40. Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army? Laughayette
#39 – 30. Freedom Jokes
39. As a true American Patriot I always put phone numbers I want to ignore under the contact “Freedom” Because I always let Freedom Ring.
38. The bird of freedom is the eagle, the bird of wisdom is the owl, the bird of love is the dove. What’s the bird of true love? The swallow.
37. How come there’s no Knock Knock joke about America? Because freedom rings.
36. I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
35. What do you call a duck that likes to celebrate Independence Day? A fire quacker.
34. Food, Family, Fourth of july, and Fireworks. The four best F words ever!
33. What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country? Beneduck Arnold.
32. What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1772? The Boston Flea Party.
31. What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed? The Fodder of Our Country!
30. The funny thing about teen pregnancy is that before it happens all you hear is “Don’t do it! You’ll regret it! You’ll lose your freedom! Make the responsible choice!” Then after it happens, they say “We’re a still disappointed, but we can still make the best of this. It’s not the end of the world.” Stupid auto-correct: I meant “Trump’s presidency” not “teen pregnancy”.
#29 – 20. Freedom Jokes
29. An American and a Russian are arguing about which country has more freedom. The American says, “I can walk right up to the White House and shout ‘Down with Donald Trump!’ and nothing bad will happen to me.” The Russian replies, “Guess what? I can walk in front of Kremlin and shout ‘Down with Donald Trump!’ and nothing will happen to me either.”
28. Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they .
27. What did the fuse say to the firecracker? Lets get together and “pop it like its hot”.
26. In the United States the colors red white and blue represent freedom. Unless they see it in their rear view mirror.
25. I offered a North Korean some freedom. He said “Im glad its free but what the hell is ‘dom'”
24. I made a joke about freedom. North Koreans didn’t get it
23. A young Soviet boy asked his father, “Is it true that freedom of speech is the same here as it is in the United States?” His father said, “In principle, yes. I could stand on the White House lawn and yell, ‘Down with Reagan!’ and not be punished. Similarly, I could stand in the Red Square and yell, without punishment, ‘Down with Reagan!’”
22. What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and fireworks? Dino-mite.
21. How much does freedom weigh? A WashingTon.
20. Which colonists told the most jokes? Punsylvanians!
#19 – 10. Freedom Jokes
19. What happened as a result of the Stamp Act? The Americans licked the British!
18. What was General Washington’s favourite tree? The infantry.
17. Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington? Because the horse was too heavy to carry.
16. 15 Year Old Teenager: “I love the US! It’s the land of freedom and opportunity! We even have freedom of speech!” CNN: “Hold my beer.”
15. What do you call a redneck bursting into flames? A Fire Cracker!
14. Why did the duck say bang? Because he was a firequacker.
13. Apparently they’re having such a hard time filling office space in the new Freedom Tower, they’ve opened it up to big chain department stores…Just what America needs — another Target.
12. As a Muslim, I really appreciate the Courts upholding religious freedom…Seriously, Praise Be A Law
11. An American and a Russian are arguing about freedom in their countries during the 1980s American: Look, in my country I can walk into the Oval Office, pound the President’s desk and say Mr. President, I don’t like the way you’re running our country. Russian: Well, I can do that too. American: You can? Russian: Yes. I can walk into the Kremlin, go to the General Secretary’s office, pound his desk and say Mr. General Secretary, I don’t like the way President Reagan is running his country.
10. How do you take away an Italian’s freedom of speech? Handcuff them
#9 – 1. Freedom Jokes
9. America is truly the greatest country. It has freedom…for cops and politicians from prosecution
8. I ate way too many freedom fries yesterday. I had to liberate the toilet for hours.
7. They say Harriet Tubman escorted 300 slaves to freedom via the Underground Railroad…If you do the math, that’s only 180 people.
6. The date of a prisoner’s freedom should be called a period because it’s the end of their sentence.
5. What kind of tea did the American colonists want? Liberty.
4. What was the most popular dance in 1776? Indepen-dance.
3. Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell? Yeah, it cracked me up!
2. How do you start the 4th of July parade in the ghetto? Roll a 40 down the street.
1.What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington? One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on a bill
Ideas for the top 51 freedom jokes come from the following sources.[1]UpJoke – Freedom Joke[2]Jokes 4 Us – Independence Day Jokes
References