Top 70 Pizza Jokes

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Pizza is one of the most popular foods. You can put almost everything on it. It is really for everyone! With that in mind, check out the top 70 pizza jokes.

#70 – 60. Pizza Jokes

70. Q: Why did the man go into the pizza business? A: He wanted to make some dough.

69. What did the pizza maker say before robbing a bank? “I may love making pizza, but I really knead the dough.”

68. Q: What do a gynecologist and a pizza boy have in common? A: They can smell it but they cant eat it!

67. Q: What’s the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes? A: My pizza jokes can’t be topped!

66. Why did Jabba win the pizza contest? Because no one outpizzas the Hutt.

65. I burnt my Hawaiian pizza the other day…I should have cooked it on aloha temperature.

64. What did the kid say after eating a frozen pizza? Well, that wasn’t very thawed out.

63. Wanna hear a pizza joke? Oh, nevermind! It’s too cheesy!

62. Q: What is a dog’s favorite pizza? A: PUParonni!

61. Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness? He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.

60. What type of person doesn’t like pizza? A weir-dough.

#59 – 50. Pizza Jokes

59. What does a pizza wear to smell good? Calzogne.

58. What do you call it when someone spreads germs all over the pizza? Little Sneezers.

57. To teach my kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner…They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don’t live in a swing state.

56. What do you get if you cross 27 knives and a pizza? Little Caesars.

55. I’m going to open a restaurant that only serves crabs and pizza. I’ll call it the Crust Station.

54. What did the pastry chef say when the pizza chef asked him for help? “I cannoli do so much.”

53. If pizza could talk, what would it say? Probably lots of cheesy things.

52. I fell asleep with a pizza in the oven today. Burned 2000 calories.

51. What did the pizza say when it went out on a date? “I never sausage a beautiful face.”

50. Q: Why did Pizza Hut stop delivering pizza to the ghetto? A: Cuz they were told that Dominoes was always getting played!

#49 – 40 Pizza Jokes

49. Q: When can a pizza marry a hot dog? A: After they have a very frank relationship!

48. Q: What’s the difference between a redneck and a large pepperoni pizza? A: A large pepperoni pizza can feed a family of four!

47. What’s a poodle’s favorite kind of pizza? Pupperoni.

46. Why do restaurants put pizza in square boxes? Because they don’t cut corners.

45. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way, but his legacy will become a pizza history.

44. I am a little ambivalent about pizza. On the upside, it has some great toppings. On the downside, it doesn’t.

43. What do Homer Simpson and pizza have in common? Doh.

42. How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.

41. Wood fired pizza? How’s pizza gonna get a job now?

40. What did Palpatine say to the intern when they asked how many pizzas they needed for his birthday party? “Order 66!”

#39 – 30. Pizza Jokes

39. Q: Why is a pizza better than Justin Bieber? A: Everything’s better than that piece of shit.

38. Why do people like making lasagna from scratch at home? It’s pretty much a pizza cake.

37. What’s the difference between a good pizza joke and a bad one? The delivery.

36. How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza? Deep pan, crisp and even.

35. Q: What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas? A: Cheeses Crust.

34. Q: What did the pepperoni say to the cook? A: You wanna pizza me?

33. What do you call a fake pizza? A pepperphony pizza.

32. Q: “Waiter, will my pizza be long?” A: “No sir, it will be round!”

31. What did the pepperoni say to the chef? “You wanna pizza me?”

30. Q: What’s the difference between an Mel Gibson movie and a pizza? A: Pizzas are good.

#29 – 20. Pizza Jokes

29. What did the pepperoni say to the cheese? “Slice to meat you!”

28. Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties? Because he’s such a fungi!

27. Q: What do you call a song about people who love Chicago style pizza? A: Truly, Madly, Deep Dish Pizza.

26. Every time a new pizza delivery man comes to the door and notices the smell of the last pizza man, they storm off. It’s an unfortunate Domino effect.

25. A mummified macaroni pizza was uncovered in Italy today. The man who uncovered it says, “It’s a pizza of our pasta.”

24. Why did the man cut his pizza with a smartphone? It’s cutting edge technology.

23. Q: How do you get the Arizona State grad off your front porch? A: Pay for the pizza

22. What do you call a sleeping pizza? Pizzzzzzzzzzzzzzza.

21. What’s a pizza maker’s favorite song? “Slice, Slice Baby.”

20. What is a pizza’s favorite movie? Pie Hard.

#19 – 10. Pizza Jokes

19. Why did the hipster burn his mouth while eating his pizza? He ate it way before it was cool.

18. Why did the pizza start his own business? He wanted to make some dough.

17. What did the pizza chef say when he dropped a meat lover’s pie? “I never sausage a tragedy!”

16. Why was the pizzeria desperate for business? Because they kneaded the dough.

15. What do you call it when a tired dad makes pizza? Papa Yawns Pizza.

14. I asked the waiter, “Will my pizza be long?” “No,” he said. “It’ll be round.”

13. What did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza? “Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”

12. What’s the difference between pizza and pizza jokes? Pizza jokes can’t be topped.

11. I like how my local pizza place cuts my pizza into 6 slices instead of 8. I can’t finish 8 slices.

10. What did the pizza say to the delivery guy? “You don’t pepper-own me.”…and what did the delivery guy say in reply? “Hey now, don’t get saucy.”

#9 – 1. Pizza Jokes

9. What are you if can’t decide what kind of pizza to get? You’re indeSLICEsive.

8. Where do pepperonis go on vacation? The Leaning Tower of Pizza.

7. Why didn’t the restaurant finish making the take-out pizza order? They ran out of thyme.

6. Q: What do pizza lovers order? A: Truly Madly Deep Dish Pizza.

5. Q: What is the difference between a gay pizza delivery driver and a freezer? A: A freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out!

4. Q: Where do pepperonis go on vacation? A: The Leaning Tower of Pizza.

3. What’s the difference between a donut and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family.

2. What does an anteater like on its pizza? Ant-chovies.

1. What did the Dalai Lama say when he walked into a pizza parlor? He says, “Make me one with everything.”

Ideas for the top 70 pizza jokes come from the following sources.^[1]Scary Mommy – 65 Perfectly Cheesy Pizza Joke For When You’re Feeling Saucy^[2]dogtown pizza – 14 Warm & Cheesy Pizza Joke to Brighten Your Day^[3]jokes4us – pizza joke