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Passover, also called Pesach, is a major, Jewish holiday. With that in mind, check out the top 84 Passover jokes.
Table of Contents
#84 – 80. Passover Jokes
84. What’s the your favorite Passover film? Shawshankbone Redemption
83. If you want to avoid an unwelcome Passover invitation, you can say you can’t go because I/my wife has a yeast infection.
82. Knock, knock…Who’s there? Lettuce….Lettuce who? Lettuce in your seder, it’s cold out here.
81. Matzah Walks into a Bar Bartender says “Crumby day?”
80. Why wouldn’t Moses let anyone use his staff? He couldn’t part with it.
#79 – 70. Passover Jokes
79. How many Pharoah does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but he won’t let it go.
78. What army base is off limits on Passover? Fort Leavenworth
77. Have I ever told you the joke about the matzah and butter? I better not tell you, it might spread
76. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land? a.He was being tested. b.He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they finally got there. c.He refused to ask directions.
75. What do you call someone who derives pleasure from the bread of affliction? A matzochist.
74. Q: How did Passover get its name? A: Since the Seder table is usually made larger, people can’t reach for the items on the table and invariably ask others: “Could you please Pass Over the matza, etc.”!
73. Man hands a blind man a piece of matzah. Blind man: “Who wrote this crap?”
72. What did Moses say to Pharoah after he refused the first plague? That was Dumb.
71. How many bubies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 but first eat a something bubbleh. You look starving.
70. Why did Shlomo not do his homework on pesach? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.
#69 – 60. Passover Jokes
69. What do you call lice in a bald pharoah’s head? Homeless.
68. What did the Red Sea say to the Jews when it was split? Nothing. It just waved.
67. How many Lubovitchers does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2, one to change it while the other puts tefillin on it.
66. Knock Knock…Who’s there ! Dragon ! …Dragon who ? Dragon your feet again – let’s get on with this seder already
65. Q: Why do we have an Haggadah at Passover? A: So we can Seder right words.
64. What did the Egyptians say when they saw the first plague? Oh DAMM
63. Knock Knock – Who’s there? orange, orange who, orange you going to answer the door? It’s me Elijah I’ve been sitting here for an hour
62. How many isralites does it take to screw in a light bulb? One nation, with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm
61. Why do we have a Haggadah to read on Passover? So we can Seder right words.
60. How many Moses does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, he has a staff for those kinds of requests.
#59 – 50. Passover Jokes
59. Karpas walks into a bar Two men were fighting at the bar. One threw a plate of karpas.”And thats just for starters”, he said.
58. Why do we eat horseradish with the 4 cups? When it chrains, it pours
57. The Jewish Nation walks into a bar 600,000 Jews pile in and out of bar Bartender says: You thought splitting the sea was hard, try splitting this check
56. A Matzah walks into a bar… Bartender says: Haven’t seen you in a while, where you been? Matzah says: I’ve had some bad breaks
55. A Matzah Ball walks into a bar… Bartender says: Is this Round on you?
54. Hear about the internet search engine for Passover? it’s called eliYAHOO
53. Why did the matzah goto the doctor? Because he started feeling crumby
52. How many Egyptians does it take to screw in a light bulb? No one can find them, it’s the plague of Darkness!
51. Viagra is banned during Pesach, along with all other agents causing things to rise.
50. Q: How is a good sermon like a piece of matza? A: They both should take less than 18 minutes!
#49 – 40. Passover Jokes
49. Pharoah Walks into a Bar Bartender: What’s with the heavy heart? Pharoah: I want my mummy.
48. My five-year-old daughter excitedly greeted her mother: “Guess what we made in Jewish school today, Mommy. We made unleaded bread!”
47. You hear about the synagogue of only Jewish Democrats in 2016? A: It’s called Bnei Barack
46. What’s the difference between matzoh and cardboard?? Cardboard doesn’t leave crumbs in the rug
45. Q: Why do we say Yizkor on the last day of Passover? What’s the connection? A: On Passover, we remember the Exodus. After Yizkor, in most shuls, there is also a mass Exodus!
44. Why do Jewish Mothers make great parole officers? A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.
43. It seems a group of leading medical people have published data that indicates that Seder participants should NOT partake of both chopped liver and charoses. It is indicated that this combination can lead to Charoses of the Liver.
42. What did Joseph use to call his brothers from jail? His cell phone.
41. Knock-knock…Who’s there? Aaron, Aaron who? Why Aaron you letting the Jews go, Pharaoh?
40. Bitter Herbs walks into a bar The barman says ”Sorry we don’t serve food here”
#39 – 30. Passover Jokes
39. How does NASA organize their Passover seders in space? They planet.
38. Knock Knock….Who’s There? Toby… Toby Who? Toby or not Toby, that is the 5th question
37. How many Jewish Mothers does it take to change a light bulb? “I cleaned the house, made the seders, and my husband keeps saying, “Next Year in Jerusalem!”
36. You want to hear a good matzah pizza joke? Never mind, it’s pretty cheesy\
35. What did the Teddy Bear say when he was offered the afikomen? No thanks, I’m stuffed
34. Who is behind Pharaoh’s Evil Empire? Darth Seder
33. How many Elijahs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but after having a cup of wine at every seder on the planet, he may be lights out.
32. Q: Why do we have an Haggadah at Passover? A: So we can Seder right words.
31. How do you drive your mother completely insane on Passover? It’s really a piece of cake
30. What’s the difference between matzoh and cardboard?? Cardboard doesn’t leave crumbs in the rug
#29 – 20. Passover Jokes
29. Pirate Walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head instead of a yarmulke. Bartender says “What’s up with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrrrr…there’s a bounty on me head’
28. What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine
27. What kind of shoes did the Egyptians where during the plague of Frogs? Open toad!
26. Why did the Egyptians have the Jews do all the Pyramid building? They were Anti-Cementic
25. When it comes to Karpas, who is the king of Passover? A. Elvis Parsley!!
24. An Egpytian task master fell down a wishing well, The Jewish slave was amazed, “I never knew they worked.”
23. Knock Knock…Who’s there? leena!…leena who? Leena little closer to the left, we recline at the seder!
22. How many cups of wine does it take to screw in a light bulb? Enough to realize the room is spinning, not the bulb
21. What was the name of the Secret Spy for the Jews in Egypt? Bondage, James Bondage
20. Elijah Walks into a bar Bartender says: What can I get for you Elijah? Elijah says: Wait, you can see me??
#19 – 10. Passover Jokes
19. What did the Matzah say to the comedian? You crack me up!
18. What make a great Seder like a piece of matza? They both should take less than 18 minutes!
17. What kind of cake do you eat after the big Passover meal? a Stomach cake
16. How did the matzah do in Vegas? He was going for broke
15. Why did the matzah quit his job? A. Because he didn’t get a raise!!
14. Knock knock. Who’s there? Honey b, Honey bee who, Honey bee a dear and bring over the cup for washing our hands.
13. What do you call someone who spent hours preparing the Seder plate???? Egg-zosted!
12. A blind man is sitting on a park bench. A Rabbi sits down next to him. The Rabbi is chomping on a piece of matzoh. Taking pity on the blind man, he breaks off a piece and gives it to the blind man. Several minutes later, the blind man turns, taps the Rabbi on the shoulder and asks, “Who wrote this?!!”
11. Q: What do you call someone who derives pleasure from the bread of affliction? A: A matzochist.
10. Why did the man drink 4 cups of Tropicana at his Seder? He couldn’t concentrate
#9 – 1. Passover Jokes
9. ‘My friend says Jews on Passover have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.’
8. Q: What’s the best cheese to eat on Pesach? A: Matza-rella.
7. Q: What do you call someone who derives pleasure from the bread of affliction? A: A matzochist.
6. What did one seder plate say to the other? Dinner is on me!
5. Why did the matza baker rob the bank? He needed the dough.
4. Kiddush Cup walks into Bartender says: Sorry, we don’t serve whiners here
3. How many Seder’s does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who knows, one?
2. Why did the matzah goto the doctor? Because he started feeing crumby
1.Why did the Mortgage Crisis start on Passover? Too much leaning
Ideas for the top 84 Passover jokes were taken from the following sources. [1]kosher 4 passover – Passover Joke[2]The Jewish Mag – Passover Humor and Jokes[3]Jokes 4 Us – Passover One-Liners Jokes[4]BangItOut – PASSOVER JOKE FULL LIST – BRING TO YOUR SEDER!
