Top 101 Accounting Humor and Jokes
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Accountants aren’t necessarily known for their humor. However, they can be funny. With that in mind, check out the top 101 accounting humor and jokes.
Table of Contents
#101 – 90. Accounting Humor and Jokes
101. What is the definition of “accountant”? Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
100. What does an accountant use for birth control? His personality.
99. What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t? Depreciation.
98. Why do accountants make good lovers? They’re great with figures.
97. How do you drive an accountant completely insane? Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.
96. What do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone? Popular.
95. If an Accountant’s Wife Can’t Sleep, What Does She Say? “Darling, could you tell me about your work?”
94. What does an accountant say when boarding a train? ‘Mind the GAAP’.
93. What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? The accountant knows he’s boring.
92. How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
91. What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? Invite an accountant.
90. How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft? When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.
#89 – 80. Accounting Humor and Jokes
89. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
88. How does an accountant stay out of debt?
87. Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.
86. What does CPA stand for? Can’t Pass Again.
85. What does an accountant say when you ask him the time? It’s 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait – 13 seconds, no wait – 14 seconds, no wait……
84. What do you call a group financial controller who’s lost his job? Bob.
83. She went to see her fitness trainer to talk about stretch targets.
82. What’s the Definition of Accountant? Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
81. What do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone? Popular
80. How Can You Tell You’ve Found a Good Tax Accountant? He has a loophole named after him.
#79 – 70. Accounting Humor and Jokes
79. Why was the accountant so excited that he completed a jigsaw puzzle in only 59 weeks? Because on the box it said 8-12 Years.
78. There are just two rules for creating a successful accountancy business: 1. Don’t tell them everything you know. 2. [Redacted]
77. How Do You Drive an Accountant Insane? Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.
76. What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? Lazy.
75. How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.
74. Why did the auditor cross the road? Because that’s what he did last year.
73. What do you call an accountant with an opinion? An auditor.
72. How did the accountant die? He lost his balance.
71. How Do You Know When an Accountant is on Holiday? He doesn’t wear a tie and comes in after 8am!
70. An accountant is someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
#69 – 60. Accounting Humor and Jokes
69. What’s the difference between the male sperm and an accountant? The sperm has a 1 in 250,000 chance of becoming human.
68. If an accountant’s wife cannot sleep, what does she say? “Darling, could you tell me about your work.”
67. Why did God invent economists? So accountants could have someone to laugh at.
66. Why accountants don’t read novels? Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
65. Why did the accountant stare at his glass of orange juice for three hours? Because on the box it said Concentrate.
64. What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t? Depreciation.
63. Old Accountants Never Die They just lose their balance!
62. How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
61. What’s an extroverted accountant? One who looks at your shoes while he’s talking to you instead of his own.
60. Why do accountants make good lovers? They’re great with figures.
#59 – 50. Accounting Humor and Jokes
59. What Does an Accountant Use For Birth Control? His personality.
58. What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? Invite an accountant.
57. Why Did God Create Economists? So accountants could have someone to laugh at.
56. What’s the Difference Between Sperm and an Accountant? The sperm has a 1 in 250,000 chance of becoming human.
55. Why did God invent economists? So accountants could have someone to laugh at.
54. Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical? They have strong internal controls.
53. What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? The accountant knows he is boring.
52. What’s an Actuary? An accountant without the sense of humor.
51. Why are Accounting Departments So Welcoming? Because everyone counts.
50. Why don’t old accountants never die? They just lose their balance!
#49 – 40. Accounting Humor and Jokes
49. Q: What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? A: Invite an accountant.
48. How do you know when an accountant is on holiday? He doesn’t wear a tie and comes in after 8am!
47. It’s 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?
46. Why Did the Accountant Stare at His Glass of Orange Juice for 3 Hours? Because on the box it said Concentrate.
45. An accountant learns to act his wage.
44. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
43. Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
42. What Do Actuaries Do to Liven up a Party? Invite an accountant.
41. What Do Accountants do For Fun? Add the phone book!
40. Why was the accountant so excited that he completed a jigsaw puzzle in only 59 weeks? Because on the box it said 8-12 Years.
#39 – 30. Accounting Humor and Jokes
39. Why do economists exist? So accountants have someone to laugh at.
38. An economist is someone who didn’t have enough personality to become an accountant.
37. What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? The accountant knows he’s boring.
36. If an accountant’s wife cannot sleep, what does she say? “Darling, could you tell me about your work.”
35. How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.
34. What’s the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Go into town and gang-audit someone.
33. A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: “He’s such a sensitive child. Let’s wait until he’s older before we tell him you’re an accountant.”
32. What’s the Difference Between an Accountant and a Lawyer? The accountant knows he’s boring.
31. It’s accrual world.
30. What’s the Worst Thing a Group of Young Accountants Can Do? Go into town and gang-audit someone.
#29 – 20. Accounting Humor and Jokes
29. What do you call an accountant with an opinion? An auditor.
28. What do accountants do for fun? Add the telephone book!
27. There are just two rules for creating a successful accountancy business: 1. Don’t tell them everything you know. 2. [Redacted]
26. Q: And the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion? A: Jail.
25. Q: What do you call a group financial controller who’s lost his job? A: Bob.
24. Why Do Accountants Decide to Become Actuaries? They find bookkeeping too exciting.
23. What is the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after him.
22. What do you call a trial balance that doesn’t balance? A late night.
21. What’s an extroverted accountant? One who looks at your shoes while he’s talking to you instead of his own.
20. When Does a Person Decide to Become an Accountant? When he realizes he doesn’t have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
#19 – 10. Accounting Humor and Jokes
19. What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? Invite an accountant.
18. Why Do Accountants Make Good Lovers? They’re great with figures.
17. Why Don’t Accountants Read Novels? Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
16. I’d tell you my favorite accountant joke but I don’t think you’d depreciate it.
15. Did you hear about the cannibal CPA? She charges an arm and a leg.
14. What’s an accountant’s favorite book? 50 Shades of Grey.
13. Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries? They find bookkeeping too exciting.
12. Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,”No, son. It wouldn’t be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking.”
11. Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.
10. Why do economists exist? So accountants have someone to laugh at.
#9 – 1. Accounting Humor and Jokes
9. What happens when you lock a wild hyena and an accountant in a room? The hyena stops laughing.
8. Why Was the Accountant Excited When He Finished a Jigsaw Puzzle in 59 Weeks? Because on the box it said 8-12 Years.
7. Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.
6. What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? Invite an accountant.
5. What’s an actuary? An accountant without the sense of humour.
4. Why did the accountant cross the road? Because she looked in the files and did what they did last year.
3. How can you tell if you have an extroverted accountant? He looks at your shoes while he’s talking to you instead of his own.
2. What does an accountant use for birth control? His personality.
1.What’s an Extroverted Accountant? One who looks at your shoes while he’s talking to you instead of his own.
Ideas for the top 101 accounting humor and jokes were taken from the following source.[1]Jokes 4 Us – Accounting Joke[2]Jokes.lol – Accounting Joke[3]Super Jokes – Accounting Joke[4]Business Insider – 25 Jokes That Only Accountants Will Find Funny[5]Ranker – The Best Accounting Joke[6]Email Stopwatch – 77 Jokes for Accountants
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