Top 105 Best Shakespearean Insults

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The works of Shakespeare have stood the test of time. In addition, the insults in the book have stood up as well. With that in mind, check out the top 105 best Shakespearean insults.

#105 – 100. Shakespearean Insults

105. Four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one: so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to be known a reasonable creature. (Much Ado About Nothing, Act 1, Scene 1)

104. Like the toad; ugly and venomous. (As You Like It Act 2, Scene 1)

103. Thy tongue outvenoms all the worms of Nile. (Cymbeline, Act 3, Scene 4)

102. A fool, an empty purse. There was no money in’t. (Cymbeline, Act 4, Scene 2)

101. There’s small choice in rotten apples. (Taming of the Shrew, Act 1, Scene 1)

100. Your abilities are too infant-like for doing much alone. (Coriolanus, Act 2, Scene 1)

#99 – 90. Shakespearean Insults

99. Her face is not worth sunburning. (Henry V, Act 5, Scene 2)

98. I scorn you, scurvy companion. (Henry IV, Part 2, Act 2, Scene 4)

97. Drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will be swine drunk, and in his sleep he does little harm, save to his bedclothes about him. (All’s Well That Ends Well, Act 4, Scene 3)

96. “You scullion, you rampallion, you fustilarian!” (Henry IV (part two), Act 2, scene 1)

95. She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults.  (Two Gentlemen of Verona, Act 3, Scene 1)

94. More of your conversation would infect my brain. (Coriolanus, Act 2, Scene 1)

93. Thou cream faced loon! (Macbeth. Act 5, Scene 3)

92. “You bull’s pizzle” (Henry IV (part one), Act 2, scene 4)

91. You, minion, are too saucy. (The Two Gentlemen of Verona, Act 1, Scene 2)

90. Out of my sight! thou dost infect my eyes. (Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2)

#89 – 80. Shakespearean Insults

89. Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon. (Timon of Athens, Act 4, Scene 3)

88. No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip, she is spherical, like a globe, I could find out countries in her. (The Comedy of Errors, Act 3, Scene 2)

87. This woman’s an easy glove, my lord, she goes off and on at pleasure. (All’s Well That Ends Well, Act 5, Scene 3)

86. By mine honour, if I were but two hours younger, I’d beat thee. Methink’st thou art a general offence, and every man should beat thee. (All’s Well That Ends Well, Act 2, Scene 3)

85. Thy sin’s not accidental, but a trade. (Measure For Measure, Act 3, Scene 1)

84. “Base dunghill villain and mechanical” (Henry VI (part two), Act 1, scene 3)

83. “You Banbury cheese!” (The Merry Wives of Windsor, Act 1, scene 1)

82. “You abilities are too infant-like for doing much alone.” (Coriolanus)

81. “Tempt not too much the hatred of my spirit, for I am sick when I do look on thee.” (A Midsummer Night’s Dream)

80. Thou whoreson zed, thou unnecessary letter! (King Lear, Act 2, Scene 2)

#79 – 70. Shakespearean Insults

79. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. (Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 5)

78. Threadbare juggler! (The Comedy of Errors, Act 5, Scene 1)

77. I am sick when I do look on thee. (A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Act 2, Scene 1)

76. Thou sodden-witted lord! Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows! (Troilus and Cressida, Act 2, Scene 1)

75. “You whoreson cullionly barber-monger!” (King Lear, Act 2, scene 2)

74. Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood. (King Lear, Act 2, Scene 4)

73. O you beast! I’ll so maul you and your toasting-iron, That you shall think the devil is come from hell. (King John, Act 4, Scene 3)

72. You are now sailed into the north of my lady’s opinion, where you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchman’s beard. (Twelfth Night, Act 3, Scene 2)

71. I do desire that we may be better strangers. (As You Like It, Act 3, Scene 2)

70. If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt. (Two Gentlemen of Verona, Act 2, Scene 4)

#69 – 60. Shakespearean Insults

69. “Where got’st thou that goose look?” (Macbeth, Act 5, scene 3)

68. You should be women, and yet your beards forbid me to interpret that you are so. (Macbeth, Act 1, Scene 3)

67. Thou flea, thou nit, thou winter-cricket thou! (The Taming of the Shrew, Act 3, Scene 3)

66. Thou art a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver’d, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch.  (King Lear, Act 2, Scene 2)

65. Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat. (Henry V, Act 4, Scene 4)

64. Would thou wouldst burst! (Timon of Athens, Act 4, Scene 3)

63. “You starveling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, you bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish–O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!” (Henry IV Part I)

62. Villain, I have done thy mother. (Titus Andronicus Act 4, Scene 2)

61. Thou art unfit for any place but hell. (Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2)

60. You are not worth another word, else I’d call you knave. (All’s Well That Ends Well, Act 2, Scene 3)

#59 – 50. Shakespearean Insults

59. If thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them. (Shakespeare insult 10: Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 1)

58. “Away, you three inch fool.” (The Taming Of The Shrew)

57. Away thou rag, thou quantity, thou remnant. (The Taming of the Shrew, Act 4, Scene 3)

56. The rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril. (The Merry Wives of Windsor Act 3, Scene 5)

55. Thou leathern-jerkin, crystal-button, knot-pated, agatering, puke-stocking, caddis-garter, smooth-tongue, Spanish pouch! (Henry IV Part 1, Act 2, Scene 4)

54. Thou subtle, perjur’d, false, disloyal man! (The Two Gentlemen of Verona, Act 4, Scene 2)

53. You have such a February face, so full of frost, of storm and cloudiness. (Much Ado About Nothing, Act 5, Scene 4)

52. The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes. (The Comedy of Errors Act 5, Scene 4)

51. You poor, base, rascally, cheating lack-linen mate! (Henry IV Part II, Act 2, Scene 4)

50. His wit’s as thick as a Tewkesbury mustard. (Henry IV, Part 2, Act 2, Scene 4)

#49 – 40. Shakespearean Insults

49. Here is the babe, as loathsome as a toad. (Titus Andronicus, Act 4, Scene 2)

48. Pigeon-liver’d and lack gall. (Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2)

47. Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all. (The Comedy of Errors, Act 4, Scene 4)

46. Come, come, you froward and unable worms! (The Taming Of The Shrew, Act 5, Scene 2)

45. Thou hateful wither’d hag! (Richard III, Act I, Scene 3)

44. Away, you mouldy rogue, away! (Henry IV, Part 2, Act 2, Scene 4)

43. What an ass! (Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2)

42. Thine forward voice, now, is to speak well of thine friend; thine backward voice is to utter foul speeches and to detract. (The Tempest, Act 2, Scene 2)

41. I must tell you friendly in your ear, sell when you can, you are not for all markets. (As You Like It, Act 3, Scene 5)

40. Poisonous bunch-backed toad! (Richard III, Act 1, Scene 3)

#39 – 30. Shakespearean Insults

39. They have a plentiful lack of wit. (Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2)

38. “Thou damned doorkeeper to every custrel that comes inquiring for his Tib!” (Pericles, Act 4, scene 6)

37. My wife’s a hobby horse! (The Winter’s Tale Act 1, Scene 2)

36. Thou lump of foul deformity (Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2)

35. “Thou art as loathsome as a toad.” (Troilus And Cressida)

34. That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years? (Henry IV Part 1, Act 2, Scene 4)

33. Go, prick thy face, and over-red thy fear, Thou lily-liver’d boy. (Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 3)

32. He has not so much brain as ear-wax. (Troilus and Cressida Act 5, Scene 1)

31. “Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch.” (King Lear)

30. Whoreson caterpillars, bacon-fed knaves! (Henry IV Part I, Act 2, Scene 2)

#29 – 20. Shakespearean Insults

29. “Thou art a flesh-monger, a fool and a coward.” (Measure For Measure)

28. Foul spoken coward, that thund’rest with thy tongue, and with thy weapon nothing dares perform. (Titus Andronicus, Act 2, Scene 1)

27. A weasel hath not such a deal of spleen as you are toss’d with. (Henry IV, Part 1, Act 2, Scene 3)

26. Saucy lackey! (As You Like It, Act 3, Scene 2)

25. A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality. (All’s Well That Ends Well, Act 3, Scene 6)

24. Was the Duke a flesh-monger, a fool and a coward? (Measure For Measure, Act 5, Scene 1)

23. Eater of broken meats! (King Lear, Act 2, Scene 2)

22. Away, you three-inch fool! (The Taming of the Shrew, Act 4, Scene 1)

21. Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage. (As You Like It, Act 2, Scene 7)

20. I’ll beat thee, but I would infect my hands. (Timon of Athens, Act 4, Scene 3)

#19 – 10. Shakespearean Insults

19. Thou art the cap of all the fools. (Timon of Athens, Act 4, Scene 3)

18. Your virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese. (All’s Well That Ends Well, Act 1, Scene 1)

17. Bloody, bawdy villain! Remorseless, treacherous, lecherous, kindless villain! (Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2)

16. Thou elvish-mark’d, abortive, rooting hog! (Richard III, Act 1, Scene 3)

15. Bottled spider! (Richard III, Act 1, Scene 3)

14. You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe! (Henry IV Part 2, Act 2, Scene 1)

13. A rare parrot-teacher! (Much Ado About Nothing, Act 1, Scene 1)

12. “Finch-egg!” (Troilus and Cressida, Act 5, scene 1)

11. You are as a candle, the better burnt out. (Henry IV Part 2, Act 1, Scene 2)

10. There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune. (Henry IV Part 1, Act 3, Scene 3)

#9 – 1. Shakespearean Insults

9. What a thrice-double ass! (The Tempest, Act 5, Scene 1)

8. Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell. (Othello, Act 4, Scene 2)

7. I do wish thou were a dog, that I might love thee something. (Timon of Athens, Act 4, Scene 4)

6. “They have a plentiful lack of wit.” (Hamlet)

5. Thou art as fat as butter. (Henry IV Part 1, Act 2, Scene 4)

4. “Thou art like a toad; ugly and venomous.” (As You Like It)

3. Away, you starvelling, you elf-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish! You tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck! (Henry IV, Part 1, Act 2, Scene 4)

2. “Scurvy politician” (King Lear, Act 4, scene 6)

1.Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch! (Henry IV Part 1. Act 2, Scene 4)

Ideas for the top 105 best Shakespearean insults were taken from the following sources. ^[1]LitCharts – The Top 87 Shakespeare Insults of All Time^[2]Independent – 10 Shakespearean insults that work better than modern ones