Top 17 Navy Jokes

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Jokes about the different military branches are as old as the military. Check out below for the top 17 navy jokes!

#17 – 10. Navy Jokes

17. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the navy? No. Well I have. The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself!

16. He was such an egotist that he joined the navy so the world could see him.

15. What Did One Sailor Say to the Other When They Had the Same Problem?”We’re in the same boat.”

14. How Do They Separate the Men From the Boys in the Navy? With a crowbar!

13. Q: What does your Mom and the Bermuda Triangle have in common? A: They both swallow seamen.

12. A Navy Commander was upset with his son’s report card. All the subjects e.g shooting, strategy and tactics get terrible grades except Math which has an A. The Navy Commander said ‘Kids these days spent more time dividing than conquering’.

11. Q: Why couldn’t the sailors play cards? A: The captain was sitting on the deck.

10. A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. The admiral shouted, “Hey, don’t put that stuff on me! My wife will think I’ve been in a whorehouse!” The chief turned to his barber and said,  “Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn’t know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.”

#9 – 1. Navy Jokes

9. What is long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine!

8. What did the sailor say to the other when they had a problem? We are in the same boat.

7. Q: Why do Swedish battleships have barcodes on them? A: So that when they come into port, they can Scandinavian.

6. When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. – Comedian Dick Gregory

5. What did the Navy say to the coast guards? “I’ll SEAL you later”

4. Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats? A: So they can see their Air Force.

3. Q: What so you call a snail on a ship? A: a Snailer

2. “Well,” snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman. “I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy,  you’ll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave.” “Not me, Chief!” the Seaman replied.  “Once I get out of the Navy, I’m never going to stand in line again!”

1. Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, “Why do you want to join the Navy, son?” “My father said it’d be a good idea, sir.” “Oh? And what does your father do?” “He’s in the Army, sir.”

Ideas for the top 17 navy jokes were taken from the following sources.^[1]Jokes 4 Us – Navy Joke^[2]Uni Jokes – The best navy joke^[3]Reader’s Digest – Military Jokes^[4]Ranker – The Best Military Jokes