Top 24 Army Jokes
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Jokes about the different military branches are as old as the military. Check out below for the top 24 army jokes!
#24 – 20. Army Jokes
24. What do you get when you drive slowly by the Military Academy campus? A. A degree.
23. When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. – Comedian Dick Gregory
22. A general calls a colonel: – Do you have a couple of smart majors? – Yes Sir, I do. – Send them to me. I need to move my furniture around.
21. A army major was upset with his son’s report card. All the subjects e.g shooting, strategy and tactics get terrible grades except Math which has an A. The army major said ‘Kids these days spent more time dividing than conquering’.
20. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the army? No. Well I have. The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself!
#19 – 10. Army Jokes
19. Q: Did you hear about the accident at the army base? A: A jeep ran over a box of popcorn & killed 2 kernals.
18. Q: How many Army Cadets does it take to change a tire? A: Just one, but he gets four hours credit and it counts as a lab science!
17. Army = A aren’t R ready to be M Marines Y yet
16. Why do rednecks join the army? They get free food guns and ammo.
15. Q: Why doesn’t Army have ice on the sidelines during games? A: The guy with the recipe graduated.
14. Q: What’s the difference between a West Pointer and a catfish? A: One’s a slimy, smelly, scumsucking bottom feeder, and the other is just a fish.
13. At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One soldier mused, “Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn’t seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?”
12. Q: Do you know why the Army football team should change its name to the “Opossums”? A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
11. Q: What do a Navy Midshipman and a West Point Cadet have in common? A: They both got accepted to West Point.
10. Q: How many West Point plebes does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, it’s a second-year course.
#9 – 1. Army Jokes
9. What Branch of the Military Do Babies Join?The infantry!
8. Q: Did you hear that Army just bought twenty new septic tanks? A: Yeah, and Army coach says as soon as they learn to drive them, they’re gonna invade Annapolis.
7. What’s the Difference Between the Army and the Boy Scouts?The Boy Scouts have adult supervision.
6. A private asks a sergeant: – Is it true that man descended from a monkey? – Yes, privates possibly were. But not sergeants.
5. Q: How come the Army football team doesn’t have a website? A: They can’t string three “W’s” together.
4. Q: How many Army Cadets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One — he just holds onto the bulb and expects the world to revolve around him.
3. Two army rules: #1.The commanding officer is always right. #2.If the commanding officer is not right, see #1.
2. Q: What are the best four years of a West Pointer’s life? A: Third grade.
1. Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and a West Point Cadet? A: Six more weeks of bad football.
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