Top 33 Eating Jokes

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Eating food is an important part of our daily lives. However, did you know that it could be the source of a lot of humor? With that in mind, check out the top 33 eating jokes.

#33 – 30. Eating Jokes

33. Why don’t men eat between meals. There *IS* no “between” meals.

32. The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude?” After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I guess you’d be eating alone.”

31. I am on my sea food diet right now! How does it work? Whenever I see food I eat it!

30. I was eating a hotdog the other day and when I took a bite ketchup squirted in my eye. Now I have heinzsight

#29 – 20. Eating Jokes

29. two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal…Does he taste funny to you?

28. What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes? Fat, you get Fat. What? were you expecting a pi joke?

27. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other one off.

26. I was told to stop eating fast food…so I ate a turtle

25. What do you call an all you can eat buffet for a Pedophile? A school bus.

24. Why did the bear use gloves when eating honey? He didn’t want to touch it with his bear hands.

23. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It’s speaking English that kills you.

22. Today I realised that eating ice cream isn’t filling the emptiness I feel inside. But I’m no quitter.

21. The reason why the “eating a tide pod” trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.

20. Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

#19 – 10. Eating Jokes

19. Last night i had a dream i was eating noodles. But when i woke up i couldn’t find my earphones.

18. What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

17. What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What’s worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive. What is worse still? It has to eat its way out. What’s worse than that? It went back for seconds.

16. When will people stop eating ground pork? When pigs fly.

15. When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.

14. Why can’t blind people eat fish? Because it’s sea food.

13. Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he’ll become a prince.

12. I told my friend that he really shouldn’t be using a straw and he replied, “Yeah, I know, I know, it’s bad for the environment.” I said, “Sure, there’s that…” “But it’s just a really weird way of eating spaghetti.”

11. Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?

10. What do you call an atheist who’s eating English toffee? Heathin’

#9 – 1. Eating Jokes

9. Why is the number 10 afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine, and 10 is next.

8. What’s the difference between a bird and a human? “We don’t eat with our peckers

7. Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

6. What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.

5. Why do vegetarians give good head? Because they’re used to eating nuts.

4. So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”

3. What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath? Men toes.

2. Jeffrey dahmer was eating at 5 guys before it was a restaurant

1. Why do the French eat snails? – They don’t like fast food.

Ideas for the top 33 eating jokes come from the following sources.^[1]Jokes 4 All – Eating Joke^[2]Worst Jokes Ever – Eating Joke^[3]Upjokes – Eating