Top 37 Buddhist Humor Jokes

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Buddhist try to become one with themselves. That also includes jokes and humor. With that in mind, check out the top 37 Buddhist humor jokes.

#37 – 30. Buddhist Humor Jokes

37. Q: How many Zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three — one to change it, one to not-change it and one to both change- and not-change it.

36. Why did the Buddhist coroner get fired? He kept marking the cause of death as “birth.”

35. Q: What did the sign in the monastery searching for new monks say? A: Inquire within!

34. Q. What did the Buddhist tell the door-to-door sales person who came to his home selling vacuum cleaners? A. Too many attachments!

33. Q: What happens when a Buddhist becomes totally absorbed with the computer he is working with? A: He enters Nerdvana.

32. Zen master told me, “Do the opposite of what I tell you.” So I didn’t.

31. A zen student asked his master: “Is it okay to use email?”“Yes”, replied the master, “but with no attachments.”

30. The Master: I’ve never met someone so thoughtless in my life. Keep up the good work. The disciple: Thank you Master

#29 – 20. Buddhist Humor Jokes

29. The Master: I’ve never met someone so thoughtless in my life. Keep up the good work. The disciple: Thank you Master I didn’t believe in reincarnation the last time, either.

28. Says the Master to his pupil: “Do you understand that you don’t really exist?” Upon which the pupil replies: “To whom are you telling that?”

27. I hear the Dalai Lama recently fired his gardener, who had a degree in carnations but didn’t dig reincarnations.

26. Q: Why are politicians proof of reincarnation? A: You just can’t get that screwed up in one lifetime.

25. Says the Master to his pupil: “Do you understand that you don’t really exist?” Upon which the pupil replies: “To whom are you telling that?”

24. Q: What did the Buddhist tell the door-to-door sales person who came to his home selling vacuum cleaners? A: Too many attachments!

23. Q: Why are politicians proof of reincarnation? A: You just can’t get that screwed up in one lifetime.

22. Q: What happens when a Buddhist becomes totally absorbed with the computer he is working with? A: He enters Nerdvana.

21. Q: What happens when a Buddhist becomes totally absorbed with the computer he is working with? A: He enters Nerdvana.

20. How many Zen Buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb? There is no light bulb.

#19 – 10. Buddhist Humor Jokes

19. Q: Why don’t Buddhists vacuum in the corners? A: Because they have no attachments.

18. A zen student asked his master: “Is it okay to use email?”“Yes”, replied the master, “but with no attachments.”

17. Someone sent the Buddha a gift box tied with a ribbon.Buddha opened it to find it empty. “Aha!”, he said, “Just what I wanted.Nothing!”

16. A student is on one side of a raging river. There are no bridges. He has no boat. He shouts out to the master on the opposite bank. “How do I get to the other side?” The master shouts back: “You are on the other side.”

15. Q. What did the Buddhist say to the sandwich vendor at the ball game? A. Make me one with everything!

14. Q: What happens when a Buddhist becomes totally absorbed with the computer he is working with? A: He enters Nerdvana.

13. Q. What did the sign in the monastery searching for new monks say? A. Inquire within!

12. What does a Buddhist comedian say when the audience stops laughing? “I know you’re out there. I can concentrate on your breathing.”

11. Q: What happens when a Buddhist becomes totally absorbed with the computer he is working with? A: He enters Nerdvana.

10. Someone sent the Buddha a gift box tied with a ribbon.Buddha opened it to find it empty. “Aha!”, he said, “Just what I wanted.Nothing!”

#9 – 1. Buddhist Humor Jokes

9. A Zen master told me, “Do the opposite of what I tell you.”So I didn’t.

8. Q: What did the Buddhist say to the sandwich vendor at the ball game? A: Make me one with everything!

7. Q: What did the Buddhist say to the sandwich vendor at the ball game? A: Make me one with everything!

6. So, I hear reincarnation is making a comeback.

5. Q: Did you hear about the new low-fat religion? A: “I Cant Believe Its Not Buddha”

4. What did one Zen practitioner give to another for their birthday? Nothing.

3. My karma ran over my dogma…. 

2. Q: Did you hear about the new low-fat religion? A: “I Cant Believe Its Not Buddha” My karma ran over my dogma…

1.Why did the Buddhist coroner get fired? He kept marking the cause of death as “birth.”

Ideas for the top 37 Buddhist humor jokes were taken from the following sources.^[1]Jokes 4 Us – Buddist Jokes^[2]Quick, Funny Jokes! – Buddhist Jokes^[3]east – 16 Buddhist Jokes You Need In Your Life^[4]elephant journal – 14 Buddhist Jokes to Make you Forget to Take Yourself Seriously.