The Top 63 Beatles Jokes for Global Beatles Day

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The Beatles are one of the most popular bands of all time. With that in mind, check out the top 63 Beatles jokes.

Table of Contents

#63 – 60. Beatles Jokes

63. Did you hear The Beatles were dead? It’s halfway true.

62. So The Beatles and their producer, George Martin, were in the studio…Paul: Any ideas on how to end Hey Jude? John: Nah George: Nah Ringo: Nah George Martin: Nah Paul: Perfect!

61. How can you tell if you have an authentic Beatles shirt? When it has a Ringo round the collar!

60. What’s a horse’s favourite Beatles song? Hay Chewed.

#59 – 50. Beatles Jokes

59. What did the Beatles say during the avalanche? Watch out for the Rolling Stones!

58. What did people say when the Beatles broke up? Ono.

57. What is the Beatles’ favourite social media site? REDDIT BE

56. Why won’t hipsters listen to the Beatles until Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney die? Because they only want to listen to the Beatles when they’re underground

55. What is John Lennon’s favorite time? 9:10 because it’s one after 909.

54. My dad is obsessive compulsive about his vinyl and owns every single Beatles record except for one.. I think he needs Help.

53. What did Ringo say before the Beatles broke up Hey guy’s can we try some of my songs?

52. What do you call a man who hangs out with a lot of musicians? Ringo Starr!

51. Did you hear what happened to Jude from the Beatles song? He died of a Sodium overdose.

50. One good thing about Lennon not reaching old age; he didn’t become old, withered, and wrinkly like McCartney.

#49 – 40. Beatles Jokes

49. What’s an unvaccinated kid’s favorite Beatles song? When I’m Four

48. Teacher: Use “Beetles” in a sentence. Student: “By George,” said Paul. “John’s lost his Ringo.”

47. Q: Did you hear about the Beatles re-union tour? A: The shows were good but there was no John

46. Son: Dad can you tell me your favorite Beatles lyric? Son, son, son, here it comes:

45. What’s the best “bug repellent” for your front porch? “Beatles” music; the other insects can’t tolerate the noise, and they stay away from your porch.

44. Why can’t you use a the restroom at a Beatles reunion concert? Because there is no John.

43. “Beatles or Stones?” I asked my son. “Why can’t I just have something normal for dinner?” he pleaded

42. I am thinking of making a cover band of Beatles without the drums. I would name it The Beatles with an extra ‘s’.

41. Q: What would be necessary to reunite the Beatles? A: A gun and two bullets

40. What did the other Beatles say when John married again? Oh no.

#39 – 30. Beatles Jokes

39. What would The Beatles have been called if Ringo never joined? The Beatless

38. Paul: Why don’t you just quit and live in an “Cctupus’s Garden”, Ringo? John: Yeah! And take you’re “Yellow Submarine” with you! George: “Boys”, let’s say “Good Night” and leave him to pack his things! Ringo: Sure, but I’ll only do it “With a Little Help From My Friends”… (Don’t worry, I LOVE Ringo!)

37. Heard about the new Beatles album? They’ve gone all Drum ‘n’ Bass…

36. Before the internet, things still went viral…For example, The Beatles, among others, spread all over the world. I guess you could say there were a few bugs going around.

35. What’s Jeffrey Epstein’s favorite Beatles song? “Can Buy me Love”

34. I found out about this cool underground band called The Beatles. Well actually only about half of them are underground at the moment.

33. I feel sorry for the first drummer of the Beatles. All he got was a stupid street named after him, while Ringo Starr got the love and affection of tens of women.

32. It’s a shame The Beatles didn’t make the submarine in that song green. That would’ve been sublime.

31. Q: Which Beatle had the biggest penis? A: Best, Peter

30. Q: There was a ghost a talented guy from the band the beatles and an old lady. There was also a penny in the middle of the road. Who got the penny first? A:The old lady.Because a ghost doesnt exist and neither does a talented guy from the band the beatles!

#29 – 20. Beatles Jokes

29. Q: What does Yoko Ono and Ethiopians have in common? A: They both live off of dead Beatles!

28. What did the octopus say to his girlfriend at the Beatles concert? I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand…

27. What do you call the Russian version of The Beatles “Let It Be”? So Be It.

26. The Beatles all walk into an orange underwater vehicle Oops, wrong sub

25. Yo mama so stupid She sprayed Raid on The Beatles

24. Shakespeare & The Beatles walk into a pub……Landlord says, “sorry mate, you’re barred and those guys are banned”.

23. What do The Beatles and the San Francisco 49ers have in common? Neither performed at the Super Bowl.

22. Ringo is the best Beatle Because without him, they would be beatless

21. King John and King George ruled England, King Paul ruled Greece, And King Ringo ruled the Drums!

20. Why can’t you go to the bathroom at a Beatles concert? There’s no John!

#19 – 10. Beatles Jokes

19. During a Beatles recording session in the studio, John Lennon says, “Look! Yoko’s here!” Paul, Ringo and George say, O No

18. I’ve never been a fan of the song ‘Hey Jude’ by the Beatles. The ending is just too salty.

17. Q: What were the worst words ever said in rock and roll? A: How about we let Ringo sing one.

16. Where are all the old Beatles records stored? The Lennon closet.

15. When did Paul McCartney write ‘Silly Love Songs’ A. 1962-2005

14. What do you need for the reunion of the Beatles? A pistol and two cartridges.

13. Why did Paul McCartney quit the Beatles? He drank RedBull.

12. With all the drug use going on in the 60’s, it’s a wonder none of The Beatles were found lying dead in bed. Unless, of course, you count the flowerbed in front of the Dakota.

11. Why was it so quiet at Beatles concerts? Because they played like crickets.

10. What music didn’t the Beatles invent? Hip Hop, the weren’t grasshoppers after all