Top 73 Love Jokes

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Love can seem like something very hard to find. For others it just seems like a joke. With that in mind, check out the top 73 love jokes!

#73 – 70. Love Jokes

73. You are like dandruff because I just cannot get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.

72. Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Olive, Olive who? Olive you and I don’t care who knows it!

71. Wife: Do you want dinner? Husband: Sure, what are my choices? Wife: Yes and no.

70. Are you familiar with that tingly feeling that you get in your body when you start to develop feelings for someone? That feeling is actually all of your common sense leaving your body.

#69 – 60. Love Jokes

69. Why do men like to fall in love at first sight? Because doing so saves them a lot of money.

68. You are just like my car because you drive me crazy.

67. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pauline. Pauline, who? I think I’m Pauline in love with you.

66. Did you hear about the near-sighted porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion.

65. What’s the definition of love? The delusion that one woman is different from another.

64. There were two antennas who met on a roof and they fell in love and decided to get married. The ceremony was nothing fancy, but you could tell that they had a very strong connection.

63. I love everyone. Some people I love to be around, while some of them are people who I would rather avoid. And then there are some who I would love to punch in the face.

62. Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

61. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candice, Candice, who? Candice be love that I am feeling right now?

60. Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.

#59 – 50. Love Jokes

59. You are like my asthma. You just take my breath away.

58. Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.

57. Love is like a fart. If you force it, you’re going to make a mess.

56. Son: Dad, I’ve heard that in some parts of the world a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her. Father: Son, that’s true everywhere.

55. What does the ghost call his true love? A. My ghoul-friend.

54. Have you ever been fishing before? I only ask because I really think that we should hook up.

53. Whats the difference between love and marriage? Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

52. Why should you never breakup with a goalie? Because he’s a keeper.

51. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Owl, Owl, who? Owl always love you!

50. My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?

#49 – 40. Love Jokes

49. Boy: Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day? Girl: Yes, February 14th.

48. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frank, Frank, who? Frank you for loving me.

47. What do you call two birds in love? A. Tweet-hearts!

46. I love you today more than I did yesterday. And that is because you really ticked me off yesterday.

45. Falling in love is like going deep into a river. It is much easier to get in it than it is to get out of it.

44. What do you say to your single friends on Valentine’s Day? Happy Independence Day!

43. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Honeydew, Honeydew, who? Honeydew you know how much I love you?

42. The funniest joke of all time is my love life.

41. If I ever need a heart transplant, I’d want my ex’s. It’s never been used.

40. What’s the difference between love and marriage? Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener.

#39 – 30. Love Jokes

39. What happened when the two vampires went on a blind date? It was love at first bite.

38. What is the ideal marriage? One between a deaf man and a blind woman

37. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put the letters U and I together.

36. Why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef? A. He’ll dessert you.

35. I don’t know your name yet, but it must be Wi-Fi because I am feeling such a strong connection here.

34. We must both be subatomic particles because I feel this strong force between the two of us.

33. Why is it everything I love is either unhealthy, addicting or has multiple restraining orders against me?

32. Why should you not marry a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them.

31. My new girlfriend works at the zoo. I think she’s a keeper.

30. What did the condom say to the erection? If you really love her, wear a cover.

#29 – 20. Love Jokes

29. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? I want you inside me!

28. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Juno, Juno, who. Juno that you’re the love of my life?

27. How do you properly make love to a fat woman? Roll her around in flour and find the wet spot!

26. Can I borrow a kiss from you? I promise you that I will give it back.

25. Whats the definition of a happy marriage? One where the husband gives and the wife takes.

24. I love you with all my butt. I would say my heart, but it is just not as big.

23. I like to show my girlfriend who’s the boss in our house. I do this by holding a mirror up to her face.

22. You can fall from the sky and you can fall from a tree, but the best way for you to fall is to fall in love with me.

21. How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it.

20. Making love is like math. Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you don’t multiply.

#19 – 10. Love Jokes

19. Love is getting mad at someone, telling that person to go to hell, and hoping that they get there safely.

18. How did the phone propose to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? A. He gave her a ring.

17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Halibut, Halibut, who? Halibut a kiss for me?

16. When is it okay to Love thy neighbor? When her husband is away on business!

15. Never laugh at your girlfriend’s choices. You’re one of them.

14. Never laugh at your significant other’s choices because you happen to be one of them.

13. What’s the difference between love and marriage? Love is one long, sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.

12. What does marriage do? Puts a ring on a woman’s finger and two under the man’s eyes.

11. How did the girl get a prince to fall in love with her? She wore a raspberry beret.

10. Boy: “I love you so much, I could never live without you.” Girl: “Is that you or the beer talking?” Boy: “It’s me talking to the beer.”

#9 – 1. Love Jokes

9. Who is the perfect husband? One who keeps his mouth shut and his checkbook open!

8. My love is like communism. Everyone gets a share, and it’s only good in theory.

7. What did the guy with the broken leg say to his nurse? “I’ve got a crutch on you.”

6. Me: “I love you.” You: “Is that you or the wine talking?” Me: “It’s me talking to the wine.”

5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Eyesore, Eyesore, who? Eyesore do love you a lot.

4. What’s a man’s definition of a romantic evening? Sex.

3. You are like my dentures. I cannot smile without you.

2. If love hurts…You’re probably not using enough lube.

1. What did the little boat say to the yacht? A. Can I interest you in a little row-mance?

Ideas for the top 73 love jokes were taken from the following sources.^[1]Reader’s Digest – Love Joke^[2]Luvze – 135 Love Joke: Funny Marriage or Girlfriend/Boyfriend Humor^[3]Laff Gaff – Funny Love Joke^[4]Jokes 4 Us – Love Joke