Top 81 Beach Jokes

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Going to the beach is a summer tradition. Playing in the sand and waves practically shouts out summer time. With that in mind, check out the top 81 beach jokes.

#81 – 80. Beach Jokes

81. What did the shark plead in the murder case?…Not gill-ty.

80. Q: Why did the crab cross the beach? A: To get to the other tide.

#79 – 70. Beach Jokes

79. Q: What do you call a snowman at the beach? A: A puddle.

78. Why are seabirds so lucky in love?… Because one good tern always deserves another

77. What happened to the shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?…It got lockjaw

76. Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?… Pier pressure

75. Q: What did the beach say to the people who came back for the summer? A: Long time no sea.

74. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?… Because they spend years at C!

73. “Hey guys I’m a new Jokester, remeber my name as I’ll be making a lot more!!! P.s. They will be much better than this one!”

72. Q: What did the family do when they arrived at the summer breach resort? A: They shellabrated.

71. Do you think the ocean is salty because the beach never waves back?

70. How can you amplify a pirate’s DNA?… PC Arghhh

#69 – 60. Beach Jokes

69. Q: Which comedian loves going to the beach? A: Pauly Shore

68. What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?… Show me your mussels

67. Q: What do toads drink when they go to the beach? A: Ice cold Croak-o-cola.

66. Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on

65. Why does the mermaid wear seashells?…Because she grew out of her B-shells

64. Where do shellfish go to borrow money?… The prawn broker

63. One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said,” Sir, I’m going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo.” The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said,” I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo.” The driver said,” I did. Today I’m taking them to the beach.”

62. Q: What’s the best day of the week to go to the beach? A: SUNday

61. What did the ocean say when it saw the beach? Nothing, it just waved.

60. What did the beach say to the wave?… “Long tide, no sea.”

#59 – 50. Beach Jokes

59. Q: What kind of sandwiches can you make at the beach? A: Peanut butter and jellyfish sandwiches.

58. What did the beach say as the tide came in? Long time, no sea.

57. Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?… Because they dropped out of school

56. Q: How do you pay the fee to get on a beach? A: You use sand dollars.

55. Q: What did the pig say while laying out at the beach? A: I’m bacon

54. Q: What kind of fruit tree grows at the beach? A: Crab apple trees.

53. Q: What kind of dessert do you serve at a summer beach party? A: Beach pie.

52. Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, “Free Willy!”

51. What does a mermaid wear to maths lessons?… An algae-bra

50. What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?… Licence to Krill

#49 – 40. Beach Jokes

49. Q: Which fish is the most famous at the beach? A: Star fish

48. Where do little fish go every morning? … To plaice school

47. Where does seaweed look for a job?… In the ‘Kelp-wanted’ ads

46. Q: Which legendary singer do beach resorts love to host? A: Dinah Shore

45. Q: Where does a fish go to borrow money? A: The loan shark

44. Yo mama is so fat, she goes to the beach to sell shade.

43. What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean? “oh my God, you’re such a beach”

42. Q: What is the strongest animal at the beach? A: The mussels.

41. Why had the two algae never had sex?… Because they had a planktonic relationship

40. Why don’t oysters give to charity?… Because they’re shellfish

#39 – 30. Beach Jokes

39. Q: What do trains do during the summer? A: Play beach trolleyball

38. Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?… It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise

37. Q: What do you call a labrador at the beach in August? A: A hot dog

36. i tried a pun about water but people “sea” right through it, and when people complain they are usually just being a beach

35. What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?…The Codfather

34. Q: What did the beach say when it saw the tide come in? A: Long time no sea.

33. What did the ocean say to beach? Nothing,it just wave!

32. Q: What do you call the seagulls that live by the Bay? A: Bagels.

31. Why was the beach salty? Because the land didn’t wave back. The ocean the called the land a beach.

30. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?… A nervous wreck

#29 – 20. Beach Jokes

29. Q: Why did they call the police during the summer beach concert? A: Something fishy was going on.

28. Algae A (to Algae B): “How are things?”Algae B: “Good thanks; business is blooming”

27. Q: Why didn’t the poodle want to go to the beach? A: It didn’t want to be a hot dog.

26. Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?… All the sailors were marooned

25. Q: What do you call a French man who wears beach sandals? A: Phillipe Phloppe.

24. Where does a killer whale go for braces?… The orca-dontist

23. What Would you find on a haunted beach? A Sand-witch!

22. Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?… Kings Crustacean

21. Q: What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it? A: Shore!

20. Q: What do you call a Hogwarts professor who goes to the beach? A: A sandwitch

#19 – 10. Beach Jokes

19. What does seaweed say when it’s stuck at the bottom of the sea?… “Kelp! Kelp!”

18. What did one flat-fish parasite say to the other at the end of their date?… “Your plaice or mine?”

17. Q: What card game do anglers play at the beach? A: Go fish.

16. A salmon walks into a vegetarian restaurant and the waiter says, “Sorry, we don’t serve fish.”

15. Q: What do you call a cat who lives at the beach? A: Sandy claws.

14. What is the best way to communicate with a fish?… Drop it a line!

13. Why did the algae and the fungus get married?… They took a lichen to each other (although, unfortunately, their marriage is now on the rocks)

12. Why did the lobster blush?… Because the sea weed

11. Q: What did the beach say to the surfer? A: Nothing… it just waved.

10. Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free? She washed up on the beach.

#9 – 1. Beach Jokes

9. Q: What did one tidal pool say to the other tidal pool? A: Show me your mussels.

8. Q: Why do people swim at salt water beaches? A: Because a pepper beach would make them sneeze

7. Q: What happens when you go to the beach and throw your hat in the water? A: It gets wet!

6. Q: What did the boy say after a long day at the beach? A: Mommy, I’m surf bored.

5. Where do you calulate the mass of a cetacean?… At a Whale-Weigh Station

4. Why did the seawater keep walking around in circles?… Because it was gyred

3. What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean?… Nothing, it just waved

2. Q: What do whales eat for dinner? A: Fish and ships

1.What is a cetacean’s favourite TV show?… Whale of fortune

Ideas for the top 81 beach jokes come from the following sources.^[1]Fun Kids Jokes – Beach Joke^[2]Worst Jokes Ever – Beach Joke^[3]Words in mOcean – Ocean Jokes