Top 88 Farming Jokes

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Farming is the base of society. Without it we wouldn’t have any food! With that in mind, check out the top 88 farming jokes.

#88 – 80. Farming Jokes

88. Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? Because he was out standing in his field.

87. I could tell you a joke about farming…But it would be the corniest joke you’d ever herd…

86. What do you call a person who likes geometry and farming? A pro-tractor!

85. Did you hear about the wooden tractor? It had wooden wheels, wooden engine, wooden transmission and wooden work.

84. What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows? Udder nonsense!

83. What do you call an arctic cow? An eskimoo!

82. What farm animal keeps the best time? A watch dog!

81. What do farmers need to create crop circles? A Pro-tractor.

80. I used to sell farming equipment…Until they outlawed slavery.

#79 – 70. Farming Jokes

79. Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play!

78. Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar? He wanted sweet and sour pork!

77. I was driving past a farm the other day and there was a field with loads of sheep in it. I thought to myself “Wow! Look at all those sheep crammed in there. There’s too many to even zzzz…”

76. What happened when the farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier? He got a hot-diggity-dog!

75. dwights farm as suffered a massive blight, almost bankrupt he was signed for a massive record deal on the condition he give up farming turns out all he had to do was drop those sick beets

74. Why did the lamb call the police? He had been fleeced.

73. What did the farmer say when he lost one of his cows? What a miss-steak.

72. Did you hear about the farmer that failed dairy farming school? He didn’t work well with udders.

71. Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.

70. What do farmers use to make crop circles? A Protractor

#69 – 60. Farming Jokes

69. What is a sheep’s favorite game? Baa-dminton!

68. What do you call a Nebraskan farmer with a sheep under each arm? A pimp.

67. What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An eggroll!

66. Who tells chicken jokes? Comedihens!

65. Patient: Doctor, I feel like a pony! Doctor: Don’t worry, you’re just a little hoarse!

64. What do you call a math tool that supports farming vehicle rights? Protractor

63. How did the chicken farmer get into Guinness World Records? He has a massive cock.

62. If a cow laughed really hard…. would milk come out of her nose?

61. Farmers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, turn-ip the covers, en-dive into bed!

60. What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? Straw-berries!

#59 – 50. Farming Jokes

59. I’m tired of all these farming tips. Let’s face it, there’s only one thing that makes you good at farming Step one: be a tractor Step two: don’t be unnatractor

58. What do you get when you cross a robot and a tractor? A transfarmer.

57. What do you say to a cow if it’s in your way? You tell it to Mooooooooooove.

56. What do you get when you cross a farmer and some trendy headphones? Beets by Dre.

55. What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? Laughing stock.

54. As a farmer, I hear lots of jokes about sheep. I’d tell them to my dog but he’d herd them all.

53. What new crop did the farmer plant? Beets me! What grows under your nose? Tulips!

52. What is similar about studying farming and taking “yo mama” to the opera? One is taking horticulture….

51. What kind of pigs know karate? Pork chops!

50. Why did the cabbage win the race? Because it was ahead!

#49 – 40. Farming Jokes

49. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s popcorn?

48. What do you call a pig thief? A hamburglar!

47. What day do potatoes hate the most? Fry-day!

46. What type of horses only go out at night? Nightmares!

45. Why did the tomato blush? Because he saw the salad dressing!

44. What day do potatoes hate the most? Fry-day.

43. Why did the cow jump over the moon? The farmer had cold hands.

42. What is the worst thing about farming vegetables? The wheelchairs are too expensive.

41. Why did the pig take a bath? The farmer said, “Hogwash”!

40. What farm animal keeps the best time? A watch dog.

#39 – 30. Farming Jokes

39. What is a Happy Farmers favorite candy? A Jolly Rancher.

38. Never try to impress a women with farming equipment. It won’t be enough to a tractor attention.

37. What do you get when you cross a Elephant with a garden? Squash!

36. What is a horse’s favorite sport? Stable tennis!

35. Did you hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field.

34. Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain? He has got no beef.

33. What grows when fed but dies when watered? Fire.

32. Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says “I’m planning on going into farming, it’s what my father did and it makes good money.” The second asks “What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?” “I don’t know man, there are so many fields to choose from.”

31. What do you call the best butter on the farm? A goat.

30. The old farmer won $1,000,000.00 in the lottery. The newspaper called and asked him what he was going to do with the money. The old farmer replied “I guess I’ll just keep on farming until it’s all gone.”

#29 – 20. Farming Jokes

29. Farmer: “Why can’t you make bread like my mother?” Wife: “Why can’t you make dough like my father?”

28. What’s the best part of farming? Getting down and dirty with my hoes

27. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer.

26. I was really impressed by the farmer I saw the other day. He was out standing in his field.

25. Farming vegetables can get hectic at times, lettuce romaine calm.

24. What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer? You take me for grunted.

23. What did the farmer call his cow? Pat.

22. Who takes care of the farm when the farmer is sick? The farmacist (pharmacist).

21. What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bor!

20. What do farmers use to make crop circles? A pro-tractor.

#19 – 10. Farming Jokes

19. Where do farmers send their kids to grow? Kinder-garden.

18. What do you get when you cross a robot and a tractor? A transfarmer.

17. How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.

16. What is a farmers favorite Bruce Springsteen song? Born in the USDA.

15. Why was the cucumber mad? Because it was in a pickle!

14. Farming isn’t for everyone…But hay, it’s in my jeans.

13. I am going to invest in Deer Farming…seems like the best bang for buck!

12. What do you call a dog on the farm? A Corn Dog.

11. Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!

10. Why were the baby strawberries crying? Their ma and pa were in a jam

#9 – 1. Farming Jokes

9. What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? Straw-berries.

8. Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? Because he was out standing in his field!

7. What did the farmer get when he crossed an owl with a goat? a ‘Hootinanny’

6. The person who wrote the auto-correct logic was killed in a bizarre farming accident. Rest in Pieces!

5. I recently got into high risk cattle farming I’ll be raising the steaks.

4. A ciclist who just started a farming business needs to harvest his crops, what does he do? He buys sickles

3. Did you hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field!

2. What do you give a sick horse? Cough stirrup!

1. Why do cows like being told jokes? Because they like being amoosed!

Ideas for the top 88 farming jokes come from the following sources.^[1]Jokes 4 Us – Farmer Jokes^[2]LaffGaff – Funny Farmer Jokes & Farm Jokes^[3]upjoke – Farming Joke^[4]Work Joke – Funny Farmers Jokes