Top 101 Chocolate Jokes

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Chocolate is tasty to eat. However, you might not have realized that they can be funny too. With that in mind, check out the top 101 chocolate jokes.

#101 – 90. Chocolate Jokes

101. Q: What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A: A Mars bar.

100. Q: What did the M&M go to college? A: Because he wanted to be a Smarty.

99. If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks then he’ll have to call his pub a Mars Bar

98. I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process…it may not be true, but do I dare take the chance?

97. What is a French cat’s favorite dessert?… Chocolate mousse!

96. Q: Why did the farmer buy a brown cow? A: He wanted chocolate milk.

95. Chocolate doesn’t contain much nourishment…that’s why you have to eat lots of it to feel the benefit.

94. Q: What is a French cat’s favorite dessert? A: Chocolate mousse

93. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A marsbar!

92. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate Chip Wookiee.

91. What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? A Payday

90. What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake? Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!

#89 – 80. Chocolate Jokes

89. What did the M&M go to college?… Because he wanted to be a Smarty.

88. What do cannibals eat for dessert?… Chocolate covered aunts.

87. If Jake has 30 chocolate bars, and eats 25, what does he have? Diabetes….. Jake has diabetes…

86. Q: What candy is only for girls?A: HER-SHEy’s Kisses

85. What are the 4 major food groups? Pizza, Coffee, Chocolate and Sex.

84. What does it do before it rains candy? It sprinkles!

83. What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.

82. Q: What’s the best part of Valentines Day? A: The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.

81. What kind of candy makes fun of you? Tootsie Trolls.

80. What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate covered aunts.

#79 – 70. Chocolate Jokes

79. What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.

78. Q: What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A: A Kitty Kat bar!

77. What do you call dancing chocolate bar? Nestle Crunk bar.

76. Chocolate is the answer. I don’t care about the question!

75. Q: What was the French cat’s favorite Valentine’s Day dessert? A: Chocolate mousse

74. Q: What do you call people who like to drink hot chocolate all year long? A: Cocoa-Nuts.

73. Q: What is a French cat’s favorite dessert? A: Chocolate mousse.

72. How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin?… First, invade ze kitchen.

71. What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? Your gonna choke alot.

70. What do you call people who like to drink hot chocolate all year long?… Cocoa-Nuts.

#69 – 60. Chocolate Jokes

69. Q: What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? A: Decad-ant

68. What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk?… The worlds best Sundae!

67. Q: How do you know it’s cold outside? A: When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream.

66. Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Candy!… Candy who?… Candy cow jump over the moon?

65. Boy: Oh I can’t believe that Jesus is so sweet! Girl: Well that’s because He’s a life saver!

64. Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? You eat it, She says, “Oh, Oh Henry!”

63. Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn’t last as long for fat people.

62. Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Candy!… Candy who?… Candy boy have another piece of chocolate?

61. Problem: How do I get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. Solution: eat it in the parking lot.

60. Why does Steven Hawkins eat is shoulder? He thought it tastes like chocolate

#59 – 50. Chocolate Jokes

59. How do you know it’s cold outside?… When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!

58. Chocolate is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.

57. Q: What did the astronaut say when he stepped on a chocolate bar? A: I just set foot on Mars.

56. When you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

55. I like My Women Like I Like My Chocolate. Edible.

54. Q: Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? A: Because it lost its filling

53. Q: Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? A: They had a baby, Ruth

52. Q: Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? A: Because it lost its filling.

51. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? They had a baby, Ruth.

50. What does Steven Hawkins want for christams…A CHOCOLATE SHOULDER

#49 – 40. Chocolate Jokes

49. How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? First, invade ze kitchen.

48. What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you ‘chip’ a tooth?

47. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?… Chocolate Chip Wookiee.

46. Q: What is a monkey’s favorite cookie? A: Chocolate chimp!

45. What do you call a dessert with an extra chromosome? A chocolate downie.

44. What did Steven hawking ask for Easter? A chocolate shoulder

43. Q: What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? A: A Payday

42. Q: What kind of Valentine’s Day candy is never on time? A: ChocoLATE

41. Q: What do cannibals eat for dessert? A: Chocolate covered aunts.

40. Q: What kind of candy is never on time? A: Choco-LATE

#39 – 30. Chocolate Jokes

39. Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?… Because it lost its filling!

38. Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? A: To get chocolate milk.

37. What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Almond Joy To The World.

36. Seven days without chocolate makes one weak.

35. What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.

34. What candy is only for girls? HER-SHEy’s Kisses!

33. Inside me is a thin woman trying to get out…I usually quite her with chocolates.

32. There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars.

31. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe

30. What’s brown and hurts your teeth? A chocolate? No. A baseball bat in my hands.

#29 – 20. Chocolate Jokes

29. Q: How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? A: There are M&M shells all over the floor.

28. Q: What fruit loves chocolate? A: A cocoa-nut.

27. What do you call diareah from a hot woman Chocolate milk What do you call diarrhoea from a fat woman Arsenic

26. Why did Jesus rise from the dead at Easter? Because he loves chocolate eggs.

25. Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.

24. What kind of candy is never on time?… ChocoLATE

23. Q: How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? A: 3.14159265…

22. Q: What is a monkey’s favorite cookie? A: Chocolate chimp.

21. Q: What’s the best part of Valentine’s Day? A: The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.

20. What is a monkey’s favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!

#19 – 10. Chocolate Jokes

19. What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE

18. I don’t see why Africans complain about not having water, they have free chocolate milk.

17. Q: What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? A: Chocolate Chip Wookiee.

16. What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend?… A Payday

15. Q: Why did the donut visit the dentist? A: He needed a chocolate filling.

14. I heard a joke about chocolate bars and it wasn’t that funny. So I just snickered…

13. What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate?… Decad-ant

12. What is a French cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mousse!

11. Q: Which chocolate is in the baseball Hall of Fame? A: Babe Ruth.

10. Q: What do you call stolen cocoa? A: Hot chocolate.

#9 – 1. Chocolate Jokes

9. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?… Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe

8. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?…. A Candy Baa

7. Q: What kind of candy is never on time? A: ChocoLATE

6. Why does the jellybean go to school? Because he wants to become a smartie.

5. What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate? A marsbar!

4. Q: If Bob has 30 chocolate bars, and eats 25, what does he have?A: Diabetes.

3. What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant

2. What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar!

1.Q: What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? A: A Candy Baa!

Ideas for the top 101 chocolate jokes were taken from the following sources. ^[1]Quick, Funny Jokes! – Chocolate Joke^[2]Jokes 4 Us – Chocolate Joke^[3]Fun Kids Jokes – Chocolate Joke^[4]Worst Jokes Ever – Chocolate Joke^[5]MyTownTutors – Chocolate Joke^[6]SuperJokes – Chocolate Joke^[7]Ireland Calling – Chocolate Joke