Top 101 Funny Food Jokes

101. What does a grape say when it gets stepped on? Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.

100. 1st Person: I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes. 2nd Person: How?! 1st Person: I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven.

99. Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? A: Pumpkin pi

98. Boy, I just got hit in the head with a can of soda. I was lucky it was a soft drink.

97. Q: What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? A: Pulled-Pork.

96. Q: What does a nosey pepper do? A: Gets jalapeno business!

95. Q: Why did the dieter go to the paint store? A: He wanted to get thinner.

94. Q: Why don’t you starve in a desert? A: Because of all the ‘sand which is’ there.

93. I can’t stand potato puns. I think they’re pomme de terrible.

92. Did you hear the one about the guy who invented Tic Tacs? They say he made a mint.

91. You know what’s hard to beat for breakfast? A boiled egg.

90. Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? A: Nacho cheese!

#89 – 80. Funny Food Jokes

89. Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.

88. What do you call a round, green vegetable that breaks out of prison? A. An escapea.

87. Q: How does a man show he’s planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

86. I went to a seafood restaurant and slipped. I pulled a mussel.

85. Q: Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? A: Because it tasted better than Adam’s banana.

84. Q: Why did the tomato blush? A: Because it saw the salad dressing!

83. Q: Why don’t oranges do well in school? A: Only orange juice can concentrate.

82. Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato? A: Lettuce get together!

81. Q: What do you call cheese that is sad? A: Blue cheese.

80. Q: What cheese is made backwards? A: Edam.

#79 – 70. Funny Food Jokes

79. Q: When potatoes have babies, what are they called? A: Tater tots

78. Spending a lot of time at the coffee bar can cause a latte problems.

77. Why does yogurt love going to museums? A. Because it’s cultured.

76. Q: What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A: A carrot!

75. I tried to get into my house the other day, but I couldn’t. Wanna know why? A. Because I had gnocchi!

74. Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? A: He forgot to wrap his whopper!

73. Q: How do you make a milk shake? A: Give it a good scare!

72. What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that gets right up in your face? A. Too close for comfort food.

71. Q: What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit? A: An astronut!

70. Q: If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make? A: Slippers!

#69 – 60. Funny Food Jokes

69. Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor? A: Because it wasn’t peeling well!

68. Q: “Two potatos are standing on a corner, how can you tell which one is a prostitute?” A: “The one that says IDAHO!”

67. SPOILER ALERT: That milk has been in the fridge for three weeks.

66. Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job? A: Because it was soda pressing.

65. Q: Why do the French like to eat snails? A: Because they don’t like fast food!

64. A guy just threw a glass of milk at me. How dairy!

63. Q: What do you give to a sick lemon? A: Lemon aid!

62. Q: What is a pretzel’s favorite dance? A: The Twist!

61. Q: “What do tofu and a dildo have in common?” A: “They are both meat substitutes!”

60. Q: Why did the students eat their homework? A: Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.

#59 – 50. Funny Food Jokes

59. Q: Why don’t eggs tell jokes? A: They’d crack each other up!

58. Q: Why did the Orange go out with a Prune? A: Because he couldn’t find a Date!

57. Mushroom walks in a bar, bartender says “Hey you can’t drink here.” Mushroom says “Why not, I’m a Fun-gi!”

56. Q: What do you call candy that was stolen? A: Hot chocolate!

55. Q: What are twins favorite fruit? A: Pears!

54. I love when candy canes are in mint condition.

53. Q: How do you make a gold soup? A: You put 24 carrots in it

52. Q: Waiter, this food tastes kind of funny? A: Then why aren’t you laughing!

51. Q: What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden A: Seizure salad

50. Q: What candy do you eat on the playground?  A: Recess pieces.

#49 – 40. Funny Food Jokes

49. Q: Who’s a dessert’s favorite actor? A: Robert Brownie, Jr.

48. How do you keep intruders out of a castle made of cheese? A. Moatzarella.

47. Q: Why do potatoes make good detectives? A: Because they keep their eyes peeled.

46. What did the hot dog say when his friend passed him in the race? A. Wow, I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

45. Q: Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino? A: He was on a roll!

44. Q: Why did the cabbage win the race? A: Because it was ahead!

43. The price of candy at the movie theater is ridiculous. They’re always raisinet!

42. Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!

41. Q: Why did the lady love to drink hot chocolate? A: Because she was a cocoanut!

40. Q: What did the baby corn say to its mom? A: Where’s my pop corn?

#39 – 30. Funny Food Jokes

39. Q: “What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?” A: “I want you inside me!”

38. Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener.

37. Q: How do you make a walnut laugh? A: Crack it up!

36. Q: What do elves make sandwiches with? A: Shortbread

35. Q: What do you give to a sick lemon? A: Lemon aid!

34. Q: Why don’t they serve chocolate in prison? A: Because it makes you break out!

33. What do you call a fake noodle? A. An impasta.

32. Q: Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop? A: To make ends meat

31. Q: What is green and brown and crawls through the grass? A: A Girl Scout who has lost her cookie.

30. Q: What did the apple say to the orange? A: Nothing stupid… apples don’t talk!

#29 – 20. Funny Food Jokes

29. Q: What do you call the king of vegetables? A: Elvis Parsley.

28. Q: Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? A: Because they cantaloupe.

27. Q: Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? A: Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.

26. Every morning I think I’m going to make pancakes, but I keep waffling.

25. Q: When do you go at red and stop at green? A: When you’re eating a watermelon.

24. Q: What kind of keys do kids like to carry? A: Cookies!

23. Q: What did the burger name her daughter? A: Patty!

22. I was going to grow an herb garden, but I couldn’t find the thyme.

21. Q: Why are men like coffee? A: The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!

20. What’s the difference between a shamrock and a bread knife that gets used a lot? A. The shamrock is a four-leaf clover, and the knife is a four-loaf cleaver.

#19 – 10. Funny Food Jokes

19. “What if soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish?”

18. Q: How do you fix a broken tomato? A: With tomato paste!

17. It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

16. Q: What’s slimy cold long and smells like pork? A: Kermit the frogs finger!

15. Q: Did you hear about the carrot detective? A: He got to the root of every case.

14. Which type of vegetable tries to be cool, but is only partly successful at it? A. The radish.

13. What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish? A crab apple!

12. Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato? A: Lettuce get together!

11. Which thrill ride does a wine glass love to go on the most? A. A coaster!

10. Q: In which school do you learn to make ice cream? A: Sunday School.

#9 – 1. Funny Food Jokes

9. Q: What happens if life gives you melons? A: Your dyslexic

8. Q: What kind of nuts always seems to have a cold? A: Cashews!

7. Q: Why was the cucumber mad? A: Because it was in a pickle!

6. Q: What is white, has a horn, and gives milk? A: A dairy truck!

5. Q: Waiter, will my pizza be long? A: No sir, it will be round!

4. Q: Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter? A: I’m not telling you. You might spread it!

3. Q: Why did the fisherman put peanut butter into the sea? A: To go with the jellyfish!

2. What do you call blueberries playing the guitar? A jam session.

1. Q: What did the Egg say to the boiling water? A: It’s going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!

Ideas for the top 101 funny food jokes were taken from the following sources.^[1]Reader’s Digest – Food Jokes^[2]Huffpost – 10 Of The Corniest Food Jokes On The Planet^[3]Jokes 4 Us – Food Jokes^[4]Ducksters – Food Jokes^[5]Quick Funny Jokes