Top 101 Fathers Day Jokes

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With Father’s Day coming up you are probably thinking about what is the best thing to get him. Well any father loves a good joke. With that in mind, check out the top 101 Fathers day jokes.

#101 – 90. Fathers Day Jokes

101. Dad Wisdom: Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

100. Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad

99. “What do you call a lonely cheese? Provolone.”

98. My son wants 50% of my Father’s Day gifts. He says if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t even be a father.

97. Q: Why was the father so creepy on Father’s Day? A: He was a daddy long legs!

96. Q: What did one ocean say to the shore? A: Nothing. It just waved.

95. “Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.”

94. Q: What should you never give a daddy dentist on Father’s Day? A: A plaque!

93. Q: What do hermit crabs do on Father’s Day? A: They shellabrate their dads.

92. “How do locomotives know where they are going? Lots of training.”

91. Q: Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? A: Because the “p” is silent.

90. My dad used to carry around a frayed knot in his pocket just an old tied up piece of rope. Then any time someone asked him something and the answer was, “no”, he would just pull out the frayed knot and say, “‘fraid not!” and he would burst out laughing. Nobody else thought it was funny.

#89 – 80. Fathers Day Jokes

89. Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached? Science student: When my father sees my report card!

88. I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, “You.”

87. Q: What does a guy need to do to get someone to make them a Father’s Day dinner? A: Have kids!

86. Q: What did Daddy pig put on his Father’s Day pancakes? A: Hog cabin syrup

85. Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches A: A nervous wreck

84. Q: Why do dads take naps on Father’s Day? A: Because their family lets them!

83. Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A: A stick.

82. “The circle is just the most ridiculous shape in the world. There’s absolutely no point to it.”

81. “While having their evening dinner together, a little girl looked up at her father and asked, “Daddy, you’re the boss in our family, right?” The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, “Yes, my little princess.” The girl then continued, “That’s because mommy put you in charge, right?”

80. Q: What’s the last thing the balloon said to his dad on Father’s Day? A: POP!

#79 – 70. Fathers Day Jokes

79. Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? A: Nacho cheese!

78. Q: What did the angler dad want to play on Father’s Day? A: Go Fish!

77. Q: Why did the boy give his golf-loving dad a pair of pants for Father’s Day? A: In case he finally got a hole-in-one.

76. Q: What’s the first thing a dad does on Father’s Day? A: He wakes up!

75. Q: Why do so many dads hope it doesn’t rain on Father’s Day? A: So they can play catch with their kids!

74. Q: How did the Panda open his Father’s Day card? A: With his bear hands.

73. Q: What’s a good Father’s Day gift for an athletic dad? A: Speed Stick Dadoderant.

72. Q: Why wasn’t one Father’s Day gift any better than the other? A: It was a tie.

71. “Dad, your Father’s Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding.”

70. “When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punch line becomes apparent.”

#69 – 60. Fathers Day Jokes

69. Q: Why did dad want to go fishing on Father’s Day? A: He was hooked on it.

68. I’m laying in bed reading a book when my dad walks in with a tape measure. About five feet away from me he stops and starts pushing the tape out to me. It gets closer and closer until it eventually smushes against my cheek. I ask him, “What are you doing?” He responds, “I’m measuring your patience.”

67. Q: What do dads not want to be on Father’s Day? A: Lawn mowers.

66. “What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.”

65. Dad: Hi, Sweetie, how was school today? Daughter: You can read all about it on my Facebook, Dad!

64. Q: What treat do dads like for Father’s Day? A: POPsicles.

63. Every year, after it turns 12:00 AM on January 1st, my dad makes the same exact jokes. “Where’s your mother, I haven’t seen her ALL YEAR!” “Man, I’m so hungry, I haven’t eaten ALL YEAR!!” “WOW, we’ve been watching this TV ALL YEAR!!”

62. Dad Wisdom: I had a dream about a muffler last night … I woke up exhausted!

61. There’s a big difference between bad jokes and dad jokes. And that difference is the first letter.

60. “Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.”

#59 – 50. Fathers Day Jokes

59. “What do you call a horse that moves around a lot? Unstable.”

58. “Where do you learn to make ice cream? At sundae school.”

57. Q: What can you give a dad for Father’s day that he’ll love – and costs nothing at all? A: A long nap.

56. Q: Why did the kids give their dad a blanket for Father’s Day? A: Because he was the coolest dad.

55. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, I think I’ve lost an electron. The other says, Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, I’m positive.

54. Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on

53. Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award? A: Because he was outstanding in his field!

52. “What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.”

51. I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

50. Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking? Voice: This is my father.

#49 – 40. Fathers Day Jokes

49. “Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe!”

48. Q: Why didn’t dad get a Father’s Day gift on time? A: It was chocoLATE.

47. “I thought about going on an all-almond diet….But that’s just nuts!”

46. “What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory.”

45. Dad Wisdom: I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

44. Q: What’s the perfect Father’s Day gift? A: A book about anti-gravity – it’s impossible to put down!

43. Q: How do dads look on Father’s Day? A: With their eyes.

42. Q: What did the banana’s daddy get for Father’s Day? A: Slippers.

41. Q: Do Dads have fun on Father’s Day? A: aPARENTly.

40. Q: Why did the broken firecracker get a gift? A: It’s nice to give Duds gifts on Futher’s Day.

#39 – 30. Fathers Day Jokes

39. Q: What’s the easiest kind of flower to find for dad on Father’s Day? A: Daddylions.

38. Happy Father’s Day to a dad that was smart enough to teach his kid to mow the lawn so he wouldn’t have to.

37. Q: When does Father’s Day come before St. Patrick’s Day? A: In the dictionary!

36. Q: What did Chewbacca get from his kids on Father’s Day? A: A plate of Chocolate Chip Wookiees.

35. Q: Who’s the loudest person on Father’s Day? A: POP!

34. Q: What kind of music did the kids play for their dad on Father’s Day? A: Pop music.

33. “What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.”

32. Q: What do dads like to eat for breakfast on Father’s Day? A: POP Tarts!

31. “What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.”

30. Dad Wisdom: I know what I’m getting for Father’s Day. Last night my daughter asked me what size aftershave I wear.

#29 – 20. Fathers Day Jokes

29. Q: Did you get a haircut? A: No, I got them all cut.

28. “I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!”

27. “I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a complete rip-off.

26. “How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side.”

25. Q: Why do dads who like golf get extra pairs of socks for Father’s Day? A: Just in case they finally get a hole in one.

24. Q: What do dads like to snack on for Father’s day? A: POPcorn.

23. “Why did the coffee go to the police? It got mugged.”

22. Q: Why did Luke Skywalker refuse to fight Darth Vader? A: It was Father’s Day.

21. Q: What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? A: Aye Matey!

20. Q: Where do dads like to dance on Father’s Day? A: Golf clubs.

#19 – 10. Fathers Day Jokes

19. “What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.”

18. Q: What’s a fun Father’s Day gift for a dad who loves golf? A: Silly putty.

17. Q: How do dads like their steak on Father’s Day? A: On a plate!

16. “Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!”

15. Q: How do you take you coffee? A: Seriously, very seriously.

14. Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow.

13. Q: Why shouldn’t you argue with dad on Father’s Day? A: Because Father Knows Best.

12. “Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.”

11. Q: What did the golfer dad want for Father’s Day? A: A Tee Shirt

10. Q: Why did the daddy cat want to go bowling on Father’s Day? A: He was an alley cat.

#9 – 1. Fathers Day Jokes

9. Q: How did the piglet wake his papa up on Father’s Day? A: With hogs and kisses.

8. Dad: You’ll never amount to anything because you procrastinate. Son: Oh yeah? Just you wait!

7. “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.”

6. “I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”

5. Q: What did the ferret do with his dad on Father’s Day? A: Played POP goes the weasel.

4. “The rotation of earth really makes my day.”

3. Q: What’s the opposite of irony? A: Wrinkly.

2. I asked my dad to help me with a math problem. He said: “Don’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: “No, it’s a math problem.”

1.Q: What did the Panda give his daddy on Father’s Day? A: A bear hug.

Ideas for the top 101 Fathers Day jokes were taken from the following sources.^[1]Sheri’s Berries – 50 Father’s Day Jokes to Make Him Smile^[2]Bustle – 25 Dad Jokes For Father’s Day 2018 That Will Help You Honor Your Dad’s Lamest Puns^[3]Fun Kids Jokes – Father’s Day Jokes^[4]Unijokes – The best Fathers day joke