Top 101 Light Bulb Jokes

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? That is the beginning of a great light bulb jokes! Light bulb jokes are some of the simplest yet funniest jokes out there. Check out below for the top 101 light bulb jokes.

#101 – 90. Light Bulb Jokes

101. Q: How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb? A: Eight. One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down!

100. Q: How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb? A: Zero. Mormons don’t use light bulbs because they can’t see the light .

99. Q: How many newspaper columnists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one, but he’ll tell everybody.

98. How many computer scientists does it take to change a lighbulb? None. That is a hardware issue.

97. How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? 7; one to do it, and 6 to stand around saying “psh, I could do that.”

96. Q: How many stoners does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man !

95. How many sorority girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3; one to change the bulb, and two to design the T-Shirts

94. Q: How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb? A: That’s proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).

93. Q: How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? A: It’s a very obscure number, you probably won’t have heard of it.

92. Q: How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.

91. Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.

90. Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None ‘o yo’ fuckin’ business!

#89 – 80. Light Bulb Jokes

89. Q: How many supply-side economists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

88. How many alcoholics does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to drink until the room spins.

87. Q: How does Congressman John Boehner change a lightbulb? A: Why change the bulb when you can blame it all on Obama?

86. Q: How many fourteen year old boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: You said SCREW! HAHAHAHA!

85. Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? A: None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

84. How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. With a step ladder. They’re short, not stupid.

83. Q: How many baseball players does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. They’re too busy arguing the last call.

82. Q: How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb? A: One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.

81. How did the hipster burn his hand? He changed the lightbulb before it was cool.

80. Q: How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, the sockets go with the house.

#79 – 70. Light Bulb Jokes

79. Q: How many vigilante superheros does it take to change a light-bulb? A: None. They like the dark.

78. Q: How many Romulans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: ONE HUNDRED FIFTY_ONE: One to screw the light bulb in, and 150 to self-destruct the ship out of disgrace.

77. How many Mystery-genre writers does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.

76. Q: How many company biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Four; one to write the proposal, one to design the bulb-changer, one to design the bulb-fetcher, and one to design the bulb.

75. Q: How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb? A: No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.

74. Q: How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Astronomers prefer the dark.

73. Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch? A: You turn me on.

72. How many over-eager personal assistants does it take to put in a lig…Done!

71. How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. They’re efficient and not very funny.

70. Q: How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Let her do the dishes in the dark.

#69 – 60. Light Bulb Jokes

69. Q: How many anthropologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One or two, plus their grad students — but they’ll want to know how your mother’s family did it and whether that knowledge is passed along at adolescence.

68. Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? A: One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him.

67. Q: How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? A: Actually, none because squirrels only change bulbs that are NUT broken.

66. How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just let it burn out and follow it around for a few decades.

65. Q: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes

64. Q: What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? A: You can un-screw the lightbulb.

63. Q: How many cheating husbands does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. Cheating husbands screw in motels.

62. Q: How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but she’ll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can’t just be pushed in.

61. Q: How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Depends on what you want to change it into.

60. Q: How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed? A: This topic was resumed from last week’s discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .

#59 – 50. Light Bulb Jokes

59. Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.

58. Q: What did the candle say to the lighter? A: You light me up.

57. Q: How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to change it, and one to sniff the first ones’ butt.

56. Q: How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None they just beat the room for being black.

55. Q: How many `Real Men’ does it take to change a light bulb? A: None: `Real Men’ aren’t afraid of the dark.

54. How many skateboarders does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it take him 100 tries.

53. Q: How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?A: None; assholes never see the light anyway.

52. Q: How many body-builders does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Six, one to do it and five to stand around and say “Man, you’ve got such awesome muscles. You’re so cut.”

51. Q: How many dumb blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: What’s a light bulb?

50. Q: How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one, but it really gets screwed.

#49 – 40. Light Bulb Jokes

49. Q: “How many grandmothers does it take to change a light bulb?” A: “None. I’ll sit in the dark. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me…”

48. Q: How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. They all just imagine they’ve seen the light.

47. Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one. They don’t like to share the spotlight.

46. How long does it take a performance artist to change a lightbulb? I don’t know, I left after the first hour and a half.

45. Q: How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb? A: 20. 1 to screw it in and 19 to call him a sellout.

44. Q: How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One team, but they’ll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.

43. Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb. A: Just Juan

42. Q: How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: ALL of them!!

41. Q: How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: What kind of answer did you have in mind?

40. Q: How many med students does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him.

#39 – 30. Light Bulb Jokes

39. How many Teamsters does it take to change a light bulb? Six. You got a problem with that, pal?

38. How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.

37. Q: How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb? A: What? You can change light bulbs?

36. Q: Why did the lights go out? A: Because they liked each other.

35. Q: How many birds does it take to change a light bulb? A: Toucan do it.

34. How many journalists does it take to put in a light bulb? Only one, but they’ll tell everybody.

33. Q: How many Apple Iphone early adopters does it take to change a light bulb? A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!

32. Q: How many `Beautiful Women’ does it take to change a light bulb? A: None: A `Beautiful Woman’ has plenty of real men around to do it.

31. How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? Sex.

30. How many folk musicians does it take to change a lightbulb? 5; One to change the lightbulb, and four to write songs about how much better the old bulb was.

#29 – 20. Light Bulb Jokes

29. Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.

28. Q: How many potheads does it take to change a lightbulb. A: Screw it, we got lighters.

27. Q: How many college football players does it take to change a light bulb? A: The entire team! And they all get a semester’s credit for it!

26. Q: How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

25. How many cubs fans does it take to change a light bulb? None they just talk about doing it next year.

24. Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.

23. Q: How many climate change skeptics does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. It’s too early to say if the light bulb needs changing.

22. Q: How many math teachers does it take to replace a light bulb? A: None. They can’t do it, but they can prove that it can be done.

21. Q: How many crackheads does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 4, one to hold the lightbulb and three to smoke until the room spins.

20. Q: How many Ohio State Buckeyes does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two. One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure.

#19 – 10. Light Bulb Jokes

19. Q: What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb? A: A bright idea!

18. Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? A: As many as it takes to make a pile big enough to climb on to reach the bulb. (Comment: Ugh!)

17. Q: How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb? A: It takes two, one to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

16. Q: How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.

15. Q: How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Who knows; they never get the house.

14. Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. It turned itself in.

13. How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two but it’s cramped.

12. Q: How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

11. Q: How many Genius bar reps does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.

10. Q: How many taxi drivers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to screw it in and one to overcharge for the bulb.

#9 – 1. Light Bulb Jokes

9. Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three; one to do it and two to sue him for malpractice.

8. How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a lightbulb? You don’t know man, you weren’t there man!

7. Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.

6. How many Optometrist are required to change a light bulb? Is it one or two? Two or three? Four or…..

5. Q: How many Apple employees does it take to change a light bulb? A: Seven: one to change the bulb and six to design the T-shirt.

4. How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2 but nobody knows how they got in there.

3. How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? A fish.

2. Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Four. One to change it, two to organize the potluck and one to write a folk song about the empowering experience

1. Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: How many can you afford?