Top 60 Swim Jokes

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Swimming is one of the best things about summer. With that in mind, check out the top 60 swim jokes to cool you off this summer.

#60 – 50. Swim Jokes

60. Q. What do a dentist and a swim coach have in common? A. They both use drills.

59. Did you know that an elephant can swim 20 miles a day? No wonder they always carry their trunks with them.

58. The shower salesmen never seem to make a sale to swimmers because the swimmers always wash up on shore.

57. Q: What did the blonde write on the bottom of her swimming pool? A: No smoking!

56. What kind of stroke can you use on toast?  BUTTER-fly!

55. Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes? A: Frosted Flakes.

54. Q: Why wasn’t the blonde afraid when she saw a shark while she was swimming in the water? A: Because it was a man-eating shark!

53. People who don’t like swimming puns have a very dry sense of humor.

52. Q: Why did the girl have problems swimming? A: She didn’t have boy-ancy! (Buoyancy)

51. Q: How do you know if your swimming pool needs cleaning? A: Kids still pee in your pool, but they refuse to get in it first.

50. Q: Why can male elephants swim whenever they want? A: They always have trunks with them!

#49 – 40. Swim Jokes

49. Where do fish keep their money? In river-banks!

48. Q: How do you drown a blonde? A: Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool.

47. Q: What do you call a swim team made up of blondes? A: Hydrogens.

46. Q: Why should you never swim on a full stomach? A: Because it’s easier to swim in water!

45. Where do ghosts like to go swimming? Lake Eerie!

44. Sometimes swimming is hard work and sometimes it is easy. It deep-ends.

43. Q: Why did the vegetarians stop swimming? A: They didn’t like meets!

42. Q. In which direction does a chicken swim? A. Cluck-wise!

41. Q: How do people swimming in the ocean say HI to each other? A: They Wave!

40. Q: What kind of race is never run? A: A swimming race.

#39 – 30. Swim Jokes

39. Q: Did you hear about the slow swimmer? A: He could only do the crawl.

38. A swim coach and a dentist would make for an excellent pair because they both use drills.

37. Q: Why can’t elephants go swimming? A: Because they always lose their trunks!

36. Why did the swimmer go back in time? Because he was doing the backstroke!

35. The heart patient refused to take swimming lessons because he was worried about the strokes.

34. Q: Why did the vegetarian stop swimming? A: She didn’t like meets.

33. Q: What kind of dive are infantry men best at? A: Cannon-ball

32. Gardeners are good swimmers because they have great seed times.

31. Q: What kind of exercise is best for a swimmer? A: Pool-ups.

30. Swimmers try to stay away from dark chocolate because, according to studies, it lowers the chances of a stroke.

#29 – 20. Swim Jokes

29. Where do zombies like to go swimming? The Dead Sea

28. Q: What kind of fish can’t swim? A: A dead one.

27. Q: Why did the blonde keep doing the backstroke? A: She just had lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach.

26. One day, a fish was swimming so fast that he didn’t see the wall and smashed into it. “Dam”, he said.

25. How do swimmers clean themselves?  They wash up on shore!

24. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. It just waved.

23. Why don’t vegetarians swim in competitions? Because they don’t like meets.

22. Q: How do pirates measure the distance they swim? A: In YARRRRRds.

21. Elephants are always ready to swim since they always have their trunks on.

20. Why did the teacher jump into the water? She wanted to test it!

#19 – 10. Swim Jokes

19. The swimmers pooled their resources to go on a vacation together.

18. What word looks the same backward and upside down?  Swims

17. Q: What detergent do swimmers use to wash their wet suit? A: Tide!

16. Q: Why do squirrels swim on there back? A: To keep their nuts dry!

15. When they asked the swimmer about how he went back in time, he said he was just doing backstroke.

14. Q: Why would the boy only do the backstroke? A: He just had lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach.

13. Q: What kind of exercises are best for a swimmer? A: Pool-ups!

12. Q: What’s the hardest thing about wearing a speedo? A: Telling your parents that your gay!

11. The best insect swimmer is the butterfly, obviously!

10. Why can elephants swim whenever they want? They always have their trunks!

#9 – 1. Swim Jokes

9. Q: Why won’t they allow elephants in public swimming pools? A: Because they might let down their trunks.

8. Q: What do you call a competitive swimmer who just broke up with his girlfriend? A: Homeless

7. Q: What kind of swimmer makes a good gardener? A: One with great seed times!

6. Why do dolphins only swim in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!

5. What stroke do sheep enjoy doing? The baaaackstroke!

4. Q: What is a polar bear’s favorite stroke? A: Blubber-fly!

3. What did Cinderella wear on her feet when she went swimming? Glass Flippers.

2. Q: What word looks the same backwards and upside down? A: Swims

1. What is the best exercise for swimmers? Pool-ups!

Ideas for the top 60 swim jokes come from the following sources.^[1]Little Otter Swim School – 15 JOKES TO KEEP YOU LAUGHING WHILE YOU’RE SWIMMING^[2]kidadl – 50+ Best Swimming Puns That Won’t Sink^[3]aqua tots – DAD JOKES, SWIM EDITION^[4]jokes4us – Swimming joke