Top 101 Political Humor Jokes

Politicians like to look very serious. However, in reality political humor is one of the best types of jokes. Check out the top 101 political humor jokes.

#101 – 90. Political Humor Jokes

101. Have you heard about the new app Hillary Clinton is working on? It’s called “Pokemon Go To The Polls”.

100. Yo mama so old she had a wedding picture with George Washington.

99. They say St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. I wonder if he could do that for Congress.

98. Q: What did Gandhi say to the British, after they asked him to move? A: Nah, mastay.

97. Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad? A: Senator.

96. I don’t approve of political jokes…I’ve seen too many of them get elected.

95. They should build the wall with Hillary’s emails because nobody can get over them.

94. Q: What is the difference between the Constitutions of the USA and the USSR? Both of them guarantee freedom of speech. A: Yes, but the Constitution of the USA also guarantees freedom after the speech.

93. A liberal is just a conservative that hasn’t been mugged yet.

92. A priest, a politician, and a clown, walk into the bar. The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”

91. What’s the difference between baseball and politics? In baseball you’re out if you’re caught stealing.

90. What happens when you give a politician Viagra? He gets taller.

#89 – 80. Political Humor Jokes

89. I’ve two dogs and two cats, and they are all Democrats…they want a handout everyday.

88. The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift’s relationships.

87. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly… and for the same reason.

86. Two skeletons meet, and one asks the other, “Did you die before the Social Security reform, or after?” “No, I’m still alive.”

85. 9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. – That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.

84. Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on the same plane. The plane crashes. Who survives? America.

83. America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.

82. Q: Why does the queen carry a scepter? A: Because everyone works ‘cept her.

81. I once meet a honest, caring, politician that listened when I spoke and tried to help the country. Then I woke up.

80. A woman’s age is harder to get than the President’s phone number.

#79 – 70. Political Humor Jokes

79. I was walking down the street and I punched of a white guy and then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

78. If you are not part of the solution, you’re probably running for President

77. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

76. Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone. He is now playing the whore-Monica.

75. It’s a real shame that Barrack Obama recently had to give a speech stood behind bullet proof glass. Just because he’s black doesn’t mean he’s gonna shoot anybody.

74. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.

73. Why is Hillary Clinton running for President? Because it’s easier than running from Law Enforcement.

72. Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? – To keep his ankles warm.

71. Q: What’s the difference between 9/11 and a cow? A: You can’t milk a cow for over 10 years.

70. Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!

#69 – 60. Political Humor Jokes

69. A politician will find an excuse to get out of anything except office.

68. Why does Hillary prefer dogs to Bill Clinton? A dog chases his own tail.

67. Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100? A: Your Honor. Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? A: Senator.

66. The state dinner at the White House honored the prime minister of India, and the menu was vegetarian. How do you like that for Thanksgiving? No turkey, wrong Indians.

65. Q: What did Osama Bin Laden’s ghost say to Mitt Romney? A: “Don’t be sad, Obama’s foreign policy killed me too”

64. What do you call disabled people that follow politics? A special interest group.

63. The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, …so Trump can’t tweet it.

62. Did you hear about Monica Lewinsky becoming a Republican? The Democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.

61. What do you call a Iowan who hates Hillary? A CORNservative.

60. How’s Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans? – Juan by Juan.

#59 – 50. Political Humor Jokes

59. How did we know that Monica would testify? Because she has a history of not being able to keep her mouth closed.

58. What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? – “Honey, I’ll be home in 20 minutes.”

57. If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Instead, there would just a bunch of angry countries not talking to each other.

56. Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.

55. What do you call a Russian procrastinator? Putinoff.

54. My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.

53. On a scale of North Korea to America, how free are you tonight?

52. Republicans & Democrats are like divorced parents who care more about getting the kids to hate the other one than they are their well-being.

51. What do Japanese men do when they vote? – They have an erection.

50. When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris’s cell phone rings.

#49 – 40. Political Humor Jokes

49. If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.

48. Why does Donald Trump secretly want to lose the election? – Because if he wins, he’ll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

47. What was Hillary Clinton’s last gift to Monica? Spot remover.

46. You must be from Pearl Harbor, ’cause baby, you’re the bomb.

45. Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70 years old.

44. Q: What’s the difference between death and taxes? A: Congress doesn’t meet every year to make death worse.

43. The NSA: a government organization that actually listens to you!

42. What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? – The letter F.

41. Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet? A: A free for all.

40. We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Obama, no cash, and no hope.

#39 – 30. Political Humor Jokes

39. Why won’t Hillary let her campaign staffers exercise? She doesn’t want them to “Feel The Bern”.

38. The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired you still have to show up the next day.

37. What’s the difference between a refugee and E.T? E.T. learnt English and wanted to go home!

36. My love is like communism; everyone gets a share, and it’s only good in theory.

35. Rush Limbaugh wanted to buy an NFL team. His spectacle for him to see black people hit each other while the white quarterback is being protected. Reminds him of the America he loves.

34. Would the Clintons ever vote for Trump? Not even if they were Hill-Billys.

33. Why do Republicans spend so much money on bathroom fixtures? They really love the Grand Old Potty!

32. It was so cold today, a Democrat had his hands in his own pockets!

31. Trump should not have said “shit-hole countries”. The correct term is “turd-world countries”.

30. What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.

#29 – 20. Political Humor Jokes

29. What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician? Chelsea Clinton.

28. Why shouldn’t Republicans worry about losing in 2016? Apparently depression is covered by Obamacare.

27. Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

26. Your mama’s so fat the government forced her to wear tailights and blinkers so no one else would get hurt.

25. The consensus after the election is that 100% of Americans think 50% of Americans have lost their minds.

24. Don’t steal, don’t lie and don’t cheat. The government hates competition.

23. Your mother is classless she could be a Marxist utopia.

22. The media’s relationship with Hillary is just like Bill’s relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they’ll move on to the next person any chance they get.

21. Q: Whats the difference between a politician and a snail? A: One is slimy, a pest, and leaves a trail everywhere and the other is a snail.

20. In capitalism, man exploits man. In communism, it’s the other way around.

#19 – 10. Political Humor Jokes

19. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.

18. What did Clinton say when asked if he had used protection? “Sure, there was a guard standing right outside the door.”

17. New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has said that he may run for President, but analysts predict it is much more likely that he will walk.

16. The last person to enter parliament with honest intentions was Guy Fawkes on 5th November 1605.

15. Have you heard about the Osama Bin Laden celebratory drink? It’s two shots and a splash of water!

14. Hillary Clinton isn’t taking the loss very well. So I said to her, Cheer up! At least you won’t have to work at the same desk that Monica spent so much time under.

13. When asked if they would have sex with Bill Clinton, 86% of women in D.C. said, “Not again.”

12. Why are there no K-Marts in Syria? Cause there are targets everywhere!

11. The winner of tonight’s election is the Voyager space probe which is currently traveling at 62,137 km per hour away from the Earth into interstellar space.

10. Hillary Clinton has finally announced she will be running for President. Yes, finally. She says this is a great step forward for all women… who happen to be married to a former president.

#9 – 1. Political Humor Jokes

9. Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese. – He wants to make America grate again.

8. If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress?

7. A Democrat walks into a doctor’s office with a frog sitting on his head. The frog looks at the doctor and says, “Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?

6. Why should conservatives vote for Hillary? Because a woman’s place is in the (White) House.

5. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.

4. Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat? A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.

3. Q: Why is England the wettest country? A: Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.

2. Congress does some strange things. They put a high tax on liquor and then raises the other taxes that drive people to drink.

1. I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election night.

Ideas for the top 101 political humor jokes were taken from the following sources.^[1]Laugh Factory – JOKE BANK – POLITICAL JOKES^[2]UniJokes – The Best Political Jokes^[3]One Line Fun – Political one liners^[4]Quora – What are the best political jokes?^[5]Funny Short Jokes – Best Funny Political Jokes^[6]Jokes 4 Us – Hillary Clinton Jokes