Top 68 Hockey Jokes

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Hockey is one of the big sports past times. With that in mind, check out the top 68 hockey jokes to get you ready to play this winter.

#68 – 60. Hockey Jokes

68. Q: Why was the ghostbuster signed to the hockey team? A: He always gets ghouls.

67. What makes the defeated hockey team and scrambled eggs similar? Both are beaten up real bad.

66. Why was the dog who was playing hockey put in the penalty box? He got 2 minutes for ruffing.

65. Q: What hockey players can’t be trusted? A: Anyone on the Devils.

64. Why was the young hockey player not able to play in the school music band? He broke his trombone.

63. Q: Why can’t carpenters play hockey? A: They always gets nailed to the boards.

62. Why do hockey players avoid dressing up for Halloween? Because they have to take their face-off.

61. Q: Which hockey player has the biggest skates? A: The one with the biggest feet.

60. Q: Why did the hockey player visit the bank? A: He wanted to give out more checks.

#59 – 50. Hockey Jokes

59. Q: Why was Cinderella such a poor hockey player? A: Her coach was a pumpkin.

58. Q: Why couldn’t the hockey player listen to music? A: Because he broke a record.

57. Q: What did the sea captain say to the hockey player using the row boat? A: Bobby Orr.

56. Why do people say that carpenters can not play hockey? They always get nailed to the boards.

55. What is the similarity between a game of hockey and an airboat? Loud fans.

54. Why do they say that Canadians are better than Germans at the game of hockey? Canadian people have their ‘eh’ game while Germans bring their wurst.

53. Q: What did the hockey goalie say to the puck? A: Catch you later.

52. Q: Where is the best place to shop for hockey shirts? A: New Jersey.

51. What happened to the hockey player who was demanding money? They gave him a check.

50. My friends and I visited Canada for the first time. We got into a fight, and a hockey game broke out.

#49 – 40. Hockey Jokes

49. Heard about the ghostbuster who was signed to the hockey team? He is great at blocking ghouls.

48. Q: Why are scrambled eggs like a losing hockey team? A: Because they’ve both been beaten.

47. Q: What do angry hockey players say after getting tripped? A: That’s it – no more Mr. Ice guy.

46. What position would Luke Skywalker play if he was on the Star Wars hockey team? X-Wing.

45. What happened on the charter flight? All the hockey players were seated according to the position they play; one of them almost froze to death on the left-wing.

44. Q: What did the cowboy ride to the Hockey game? A: A Zam-pony.

43. What hockey position did the ghost play in? He played as a ghouli.

42. What made the short-tempered coach of the hockey team so frustrated when he opened his email? He had so many forwards.

41. Q: What did the skeleton drive to the Hockey game? A: A zam-bony.

40. Q: In what manner did the blonde fisherman die? A: While ice fishing, he got run over by the Zamboni!

#39 – 30. Hockey Jokes

39. What was the only thing constant in the Ottawa Senators Stadium during the mid-2000s? There was always a ‘Pizza Line’ there.

38. Heard about the professional ice hockey player who switched his profession to become an accountant? He got an off-ice job.

37. Do you know why the magician was selected as a forward in the local hockey team? The coach was impressed by his hat-tricks.

36. Q: Why can’t you play hockey with pigs? A: They hog the puck.

35. Q: Why do NHL players never sweat? A: Because they have too many fans.

34. Q: How do hockey players stay cool? A: By sitting next to the fans.

33. Why does the hockey rink get hot after the game? All the fans left.

32. What is the reason that the hockey NHL players never sweat during a match? Because all the stadiums have lots of fans.

31. Q: What does a hockey player and a magician have in common? A: They both do hat tricks.

30. Why was the hockey player arrested and taken to jail? They say he shot the ball.

#29 – 20. Hockey Jokes

29. Which animal is really good at playing hockey? A score-pion.

28. Do you know that hockey players love drinking tea? Their most favorite one is penal-tea.

27. Q: The hockey player climbs a tree with his hockey stick for what reason? A: He wanted to join maple leaf.

26. Q: How do you know when a hockey player licked a lemon? A: He puckers up.

25. Q: What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next? A: A hockey coach

24. Q: What do you call a monkey who wins the Stanley Cup? A: A chimpion.

23. From where do hockey players get their hockey uniforms? New Jersey.

22. Have you seen the hockey player who visited the bank? He said he wanted to give out more checks.

21. Why are stand up comedians so good at playing forward? They are always prepared with their hockey shtick.

20. Q: What happened to the hockey player who demanded money? A: He was given a check.

#19 – 10. Hockey Jokes

19. Q: Why is it dangerous to crack jokes while playing hockey? A: Because the ice might crack up.

18. Q: What do a dentist, and a field hockey coach have in common? A: Both use drills!

17. What would you call the former amateur hockey players who has regrets for not playing the game professionally? Wayne Regretzky!

16. Q: Why did the new ice hockey player not perform well? A: He got cold feet.

15. Q: What is the difference between wrestling and hockey? A: The fights are real in hockey.

14. Q: Why did the hockey player go to jail? A: Because he shot the ball.

13. Q: Why was the magician so good at hockey? A: He always had a hat trick.

12. Q: Which goal keeper can jump higher than the crossbar? A: All of them – a crossbar can’t jump.

11. Q: A monkey who wins the Stanley Cup is called what? A: A chimpion.

10. How are hockey players paid? With a check.

#9 – 1. Hockey Jokes

9. Q: Why didn’t the lousy hockey team have a website? A: They couldn’t string three W’s together.

8. Why Cindrella was bad at hockey? Because she learned it from a pumpkin.

7. Q: Why is Cinderella so bad at hockey? A: She always loses a skate.

6. Q: Why do hockey players work in bakeries during the off season? A: They’re great at icing the cakes.

5. When do hockey players wear formal attire? When it is a tie game!

4. Q: What did the coach tell the new hockey player? A: I got my eyes on you.

3. Q: What time is it when a hockey team chases a baseball team? A: Six after nine. (9:06)

2. Q: Why is the hockey rink hot after the game? A: Because all the fans have left.

1. Q: How do hockey players like to be paid? A: With acheck.

Ideas for the top 68 hockey jokes come from the following sources.^[1]kidadl – 100 Best Hockey Joke To Break The Ice^[2]Fun Kids Jokes – Hockey Joke^[3]SportyTell – 60+ Hilariously Funny Hockey Joke, Puns & One-Liners