Top 101 Star Trek Humor Jokes

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Star Trek is one of the most iconic movie franchises out there. That comes with many jokes. With that in mind, check out the top 101 Star Trek humor jokes.

#101 – 90. Star Trek Humor Jokes

101. Q: How do you get a one-armed Klingon out of a tree? A: Wave to him

100. Where does a ten-foot Mugato sleep? Anywhere he wants to.

99. Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: TWO: One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all of the credit

98. Q: Why was Amelia Bedelia afraid when Picard said that he wanted the Enterprise to be spotless? A: She thought he was planning to get rid of Data’s cat.

97. Q: What did Odo say when the redshirt wet their pants? A: “Urine big trouble.”

96. What do you get when you cross a shapeshifter and a musician? Yoko Odo.

95. Q: Why did the Klingon cross the road? A: To conquer the other side.

94. Q: Why doesn’t Quark trust Changelings? A: He thinks they’re too shifty.

93. Q: Who’s a major character from DS9? A: Kira.

92. What do you call a ten-foot Mugato? Sir.

91. How many Betazoids does it take to change a lightbulb? Two… one to change it & one to say, “Captain, I sense darkness.”

90. Q: What did Spock find in Kirk’s toliet? A: The Captian’s Log.

#89 – 80. Star Trek Humor Jokes

89. What is the least popular show on Bajor? Keeping up with the Cardassians!

88. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Computer: Insufficient information.

87. Q: Why did the Klingon cross the road? A: To conquer the other side.

86. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Dr. McCoy: Dammit Jim!! I’m a doctor not an farmer!

85. Q: What did Odo say to Quark? A: “Don’t look now, I’m changing.”

84. Q: What did Worf say when small ice asteroids began hitting the Enterprise hull? A: “Captain, we are being hailed.”

83. Q: Why is Worf’s race so stubborn? A: They Klingon to tradition.

82. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Mr. Spock: Obviously, it was the logical thing to do.

81. Janice Rand brought a complaint to Captain Kirk: someone had drilled a hole into the wall of the women’s showers. He told her he’d look into it.

80. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Mr. Data: Why is a barn yard fowl crossing a thoroughfare humorous?

#79 – 70. Star Trek Humor Jokes

79. Q: Did you hear that the crew of the Enterprise is getting married? A: They have engaged the Borg

78. Q: What do you call a friend of Picard’s first officer? A: A Riker-liker.

77. How many Ferengi does it take to change a light bulb? Two: one for changing it and another one to sell the broken one.

76. Q: Have you heard the new Klingon army motto? A: Join the Klingon army. Visit exotic planets, meet interesting people, and kill them!

75. Q: What would you get if Dax’s family were waiting tables on rollerblades? A: Trills and spills.

74. Q: How many Borg does it take to change a light-bulb? A: All of them!

73. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

72. Q: Why did the Borg cross the road? A: Because it assimilated the chicken!

71. A stormtrooper and a Red Shirt get into a fight, the storm trooper misses every shot, but the red shirt dies anyway.

70. Q: Why was Star Trek so successful? A: It had good Genes.

#69 – 60. Star Trek Humor Jokes

69. Q: Why can’t Klingon kids play in sandboxes? A: Cats keep trying to cover them up.

68. Q: Have you read the book “Chekov: The Navigator”? A: It’s by: I. Kiptin

67. Q: How many Romulans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: ONE HUNDRED FIFTY_ONE: One to screw the light bulb in, and 150 to self-destruct the ship out of disgrace.

66. Q: What do you call it when that Strategic Operations Officer on DS9 runs as fast as he can? A: Worf Speed

65. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

64. Q: What do you call it when Kira is late? A: A major delay.

63. Q: Did you hear that the crew of the Enterprise is getting married? A: They have engaged the Borg.

62. Q: What do the Klingons do with the dead bulb? A: Execute it for failure.

61. Q: What are Vulcan eyeglasses called? A: Spocktacles

60. Q: Why did someone go to Geordi LaForge for advice? A: Because they thought he would make a good ad-VISOR.

#59 – 50. Star Trek Humor Jokes

59. Q: Why couldn’t people make sense of Charles Tucker’s performance? A: It was too Trippy.

58. Q: What did one Borg say to one another right before their ship was destroyed in sector zero zero one? A: Hoisted by our own Picard.

57. Q: What did Spock find in Kirk’s toliet? A: The Captain’s Log

56. Q: What is Thomas Riker’s dating philosophy? A: “If at first you don’t succeed, try Troi again.”

55. Q: Why was Verad unfit for joining? A: He was a bad host.

54. Q: Why can’t Klingon kids play in sandboxes? A: Cats keep trying to cover them up

53. Q: What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage? A: A croaking device.

52. Show me a man who is a good loser…and I’ll show you a junior officer who is playing 3-D chess with his captain.

51. Q: How do you get a one-armed Klingon out of a tree? A: Wave to him.

50. Why was STAR TREK so successful? It had good Genes.

#49 – 40. Star Trek Humor Jokes

49. Q: What did the first officer answer when Picard asked “Why did you let Troi win at poker?” A: “Because I Riker.”

48. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Mr. Scott: ‘Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly. Ah canna work miracles, Captain.

47. Did you hear about the Federation weapons expert? He never forgets a phaser.

46. Q: How many ears does Picard have? A: Three. A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear.

45. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Mr. Worf: For the honor of all chickens.

44. Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: NONE: Klingons aren’t afraid of the dark

43. Q: Why was Star Trek so successful? A: It had good Genes

42. Q: What’s the difference between Bones and his imposter? A: One’s the real McCoy.

41. Q: What do you call it when that Strategic Operations Officer on DS9 runs as fast as he can? A: Worf Speed.

40. Q: Have you read the book “Damn it Jim”? A: It’s by: Ima Doctor and Nada Bricklayer.

#39 – 30. Star Trek Humor Jokes

39. Who is the worst cook in Starfleet? Michael Burn-ham.

38. Q: What is Commander Rikers favorite hobby? A: Sewing, because the captain says “Make it so”.

37. Q: How many Vulcans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Approximately 1.00000000000000000000000000000000

36. Q: What do you call it when Lieutenant Paris sits on the floor? A: A Floor Tom.

35. Q: How many Borg does it take to change a light-bulb? A: All of them!

34. What do you call a Cardassian on a sailing ship? A sea-Gul.

33. Q: Why were Picard and his crew so confused when the android officer was kidnapped? A: Because they’d lost their Data.

32. Q: Did you hear about the Federation weapons expert? A: He never forgets a phaser.

31. Q: Why was the Andorian so sad? A: Because he was feeling blue.

30. Q: Why don’t the Borg go to prison? A: Because they obey the Lore!

#29 – 20. Star Trek Humor Jokes

29. How do you stop from falling out of a Bird of Prey? You just have to Klingon.

28. Q: What is Captain Picards biggest pet peeve? A: When the crew replaces his dilithium crystals with Folgers crystals.

27. Q: What did Spock say when he got buried in a pile of Tribbles? A: “I’m in Tribble!”

26. Q: What happened when Yeoman Rand complained that someone had cut a peephole in her cabin door? A: Captain Kirk promised to look into it.

25. Q: Why Did Lieutenant Uhuru look so shocked? A: Because William Shatner (shat in her).

24. Q: What does the Enterprise and Toliet paper have in common? A: They both circle Uranus wiping out Klingons.

23. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Counsilor Troi: I knew it was going to happen. I could sense it.

22. Defensive programming? Never! Klingon programs are always on the offense. Yes, offensive programming is what we do best.

21. Q: How did T’Pring’s parents react when they learned she was not marrying Spock? A: They were Stonned.

20. Q: What is Captain Picards biggest pet peeve? A: When the crew replaces his dilithium crystals with Folgers crystals.

#19 – 10. Star Trek Humor Jokes

19. Q: What do you get when you cross an amoeba with Voyager’s chief engineer? A: A B’Elanna split.

18. Q: What did O’Brien say when Keiko kept fussing over their daughter? A: “Stop Molly-coddling her.”

17. Q: What did one Borg say to one another right before their ship was destroyed in sector zero zero one? A: Hoisted by our own Picard.

16. Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: NONE: Klingons aren’t afraid of the dark.

15. Q: What did Worf say when small ice asteroids began hitting the Enterprise hull? A: “Captain, we are being hailed.”

14. Q: What do the Klingons do with the Klingon who replaces the bulb? A: Execute him for cowardice.

13. Q: What did Picard say as Data struggled to repair the Marclosian Stitching Machine? A: Make it sew.

12. Q: What does Kirk use to light a fire? A: The captain’s log.

11. Q: Did you hear about the new uniform making machine on the Enterprise? A: Piccard told Riker to “Make it sew, Number One.”

10. Q: Why did Worf change his hair color? A: It was a good day to dye.

#9 – 1. Star Trek Humor Jokes

9. Q: Where do the Borg eat fast food? A: At their local Borger King!

8. Q: Why don’t the Borg go to prison? A: Because they obey the Lore!

7. Kirk: Bones, that man is choking! Do Something! McCoy: Damn it, Jim, I’m a Doctor not a… oh, yeah right.

6. Q: Did you hear about the Federation weapons expert? A: He never forgets a phaser.

5. Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: TWO: One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all of the credit.

4. Q: Have you read the book “The Positronic Brain”? A: It’s by: Anne Droid

3. Q: What do the Klingons do with the dead bulb? A: Execute it for failure.

2. Q: What are eyeglasses called on Vulcan? A: Spocktacles Cross The Road

1. How many crew members of the Voyager does it take to change a lightbulb? I don’t know, but they’ll blow up at least one shuttle while doing it.

Ideas for the top 101 Star Trek humor jokes were taken from the following sources.^[1]Jokes 4 Us – Star Trek Jokes^[2]Quick, Funny Jokes! – Star Trek Jokes^[3]Star Trek – FAN FRIDAY: Your Favorite Trek Jokes^[4]https://www.astro.umd.edu/~avondale/extra/StarTrek/STHumor/STjokes.html^[5]reddit – Star Trek jokes!!