Top 101 Thanksgiving Jokes

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Thanksgiving, like Christmas, is a great time to get around with the family and have a great dinner and dessert. It is also a great time to say some great jokes. With that in mind, check out the top 101 Thanksgiving jokes.

#101 – 90. Thanksgiving Jokes

101. Q: Why couldn’t the Thanksgiving entertainment band perform? A: Somebody had eaten the drumsticks.

100. What was the turkey looking for at ToysRus? Gobbleheads.

99. It seems like every Thanksgiving I end up eating leftovers for weeks afterwards. Not this year though – I’m quitting cold turkey.

98. Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the dessert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!

97. What are the feathers on a turkey’s wings called? Turkey feathers

96. Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family. “I just can’t stand my mother-in-law,” sighs one.“That’s quite understandable,” nods the other one, “why don’t you just have the potatoes with the gravy?”

95. Q: What is it called when a turkey fumbles in football? A: A fowl play

94. Q: Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? A: The turkey because he’s already stuffed!

93. Q: What sound does a turkey’s phone make? A: Wing, Wing! Wing, Wing!

92. Q: If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? A: Goblet.

91. What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A Har-VEST.

90. What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.

#89 – 80. Thanksgiving Jokes

89. Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken’s day off!

88. Q: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert? A: Peach gobbler!

87. What kids movie do you watch on Thanksgiving? The Mighty Turduckens!

86. Q: Why did the police arrest the turkey? A: They suspected fowl play.

85. What did baby corn say to mama corn? Where’s popcorn?

84. What two animals get stuffed on Thanksgiving? Turkeys & people after Thanksgiving dinner.

83. Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner? He lost track of thyme.

82. What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving? Twerk-ey!

81. Q: Why shouldn’t you look at the turkey dressing? A: Because it will make him blush.

80. Q: Why can’t you take a turkey to church? A: They use fowl language.

#79 – 70. Thanksgiving Jokes

79. What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner? Your nose.

78. What do Thanksgiving and Halloween have in common? One has gobblers, the other goblins.

77. Q: What do you call it when it rains turkeys? A: Fowl weather!

76. Q: What kind of weather does a turkey like? A: Fowl weather!

75. What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash

74. How do Rednecks celebrate Thanksgiving? Pump kin!

73. What holiday do they celebrate in prison? Shanksgiving.

72. Q: What’s the most musical part of a turkey? A: The drumstick.

71. In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated? Turkey.

70. Dear Turkeys, don’t worry… they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, women.

#69 – 60. Thanksgiving Jokes

69. Q: What sound does a limping turkey make? A: Wobble, wobble!

68. Q: How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving? A: He was very thinkful.

67. Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? A: The outside!

66. Why do the pants of pilgrims keep falling down? Because their belt buckles are on their hats!

65. When does your brother bring his new girlfriend to dinner? Skanksgiving.

64. The boy wasn’t happy about skinning potatoes on Thanksgiving Day, so I guess you could say he would…Peel grim.

63. What do modern day Native Americans call a pilgrim? Pilgrim Reaper.

62. Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots.

61. Why don’t people in the ghetto celebrate thanksgiving? KFC isnt open on holidays.

60. Q: Why did the turkey cross the road twice? A: To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

#59 – 50. Thanksgiving Jokes

59. How do you keep Thanksgiving Day guests from falling asleep on your couch? Infuse the gravy with cocaine.

58. Q: What happened when the turkey got into a fight? A: He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

57. Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.

56. I prepared Thanksgiving dinner for guests from out of town. I cooked for many hours using recipes I’d found. But the turkey, I confess, was not a golden brown. I made a huge mistake and cooked it upside down.

55. What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I’m stuffed!

54. About two weeks into November, one turkey turns to his pal and says, “I have a feeling something’s going down. The farmer just unfriended me on Facebook.”

53. Q: How many chefs does it take to stuff a Thanksgiving turkey? A: Only one and even then it’s a pretty tight squeeze

52. After a long Thanksgiving Day of eating and playing, my 3-year-old granddaughter asked her mother to carry her. When I asked if her legs were broken, Aislin said, “Yes, they’re out of batteries.”

51. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!

50. Q: What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? A: The turKEY.

#49 – 40. Thanksgiving Jokes

49. A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy answered, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”

48. What does a Pilgrim call his friends? Pal-grims.

47. What do you call a stuffed animal? You after thanksgiving.

46. Q: Why do turkeys lay eggs? A: Because if they dropped them, they would break.

45. What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian? He had an arrow escape

44. What do you call an evil turkey? Poultry-Geist

43. What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach? Puritan.

42. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims

41. Asked to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving,” Little Johnny wrote, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”

40. Q: What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? A: The turkey trot.

#39 – 30. Thanksgiving Jokes

39. What do you call the age of a pilgrim? Pilgrimage.

38. What did the turkey say to the computer? Google, google, google!

37. Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? A: If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy

36. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Arthur, Arthur who? Arthur any leftovers?

35. Q: Why didn’t the turkey bake properly on Thanksgiving? A: I’ve no idea but I suspect some fowl play.

34. What if the Pilgrims shot a bobcat instead of a turkey? We’d be eating pussy for Thanksgiving!

33. When do you serve tofu turkey? Pranksgiving.

32. What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving

31. What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he’s in pain? Pil-grimace.

30. Did you know the Pilgrims came over on smoke-colored ships designed by a guy named Valentine. Yep, they were gray V-boats.

#29 – 20. Thanksgiving Jokes

29. What do you call the day in November when your son and all his cousins get rowdy? Spanksgiving.

28. Q: What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an ghost? A: A poultrygeist!

27. Q: What happens when you’re too harsh on the cranberries and make them sad? A: They turn into blueberries.

26. Q: What key won’t open any door? A: A turkey!

25. There’s always something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving.Even if it’s just not being a turkey.

24. If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their AGE!

23. Why do turkeys always go, “gobble, gobble”? Because they never learned good table manners!

22. What’s the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!

21. Q: What do turkeys like to do on sunny days? A: Have peck-nics!

20. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.

#19 – 10. Thanksgiving Jokes

19. What kind of music did the Pilgrims like? Plymouth Rock

18. If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower than what does the teacher come on? The scholar ships.

17. Which cat discovered America? Christofurry Columbus

16. What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!

15. What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? To be or not to be roasted, that is the question.

14. What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.

13. What does Dracula call Thanksgiving? Fangs-giving.

12. Q: Fruit comes from a fruit tree, so where does turkey come from? A: A poul-tree.

11. What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.

10. If a man wants to eat a turkey on Thanksgiving, what does a turkey want? It simply wants to run away.

#9 – 1. Thanksgiving Jokes

9. Q: Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving? A: Because you far exceeded your feed limit.

8. What do you call a holiday dinner without the parents? Friendsgiving.

7. Q: How are a turkey, a donkey, and a monkey alike? A: They all have keys.

6. Why did the Pilgrim die in the car crash? Because he didn’t buckle up.

5. What’s the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day? On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day. On Election day, you get a turkey for four years.

4. Q: What can never ever be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner? A: Thanksgiving breakfast.

3. When a Butterball Talk-Line staffer asked a caller what state her turkey was in (meaning how thawed was it) the caller responded with, “Florida.”

2. What do you call a pilgrims vocabulary? Pilgrammar.

1. Q: Can you tell the difference between a female and a male turkey? A: The male is the one with the TV remote.

Ideas for the top 101 Thanksgiving Jokes were taken from the following sources.^[1]Reader’s Digest – Thanksgiving Joke^[2]Jokes 4 Us – Thanksgiving Joke^[3]The Holiday Spot – Jokes for Thanksgiving^[4]Short Funny – Thanksgiving Joke^[5]LaffGaff – Funny Thanksgiving Joke & Puns