Top 101 Funny Christmas Jokes

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Christmas is a great time for the family to get together, share dinner and dessert, presents, and jokes. Check out below for the top 101 funny Christmas jokes that is bound to get your family to LOL!

#101 – 90. Funny Christmas Jokes

101. What goes…now you see me, now you don’t, now you see me, now you don’t? A snowman on a zebra crossing!

100. What does Frosty’s wife put on her face at night? Cold cream!

99. Q: What’s Santa’s favorite snack food? A: Crisp Pringles.

98. Q: What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play? A: Santapplause!

97. Two snowmen were standing in a field, and one said to the other ‘Can you smell carrot?’ The second replied, ‘No, but I can taste coal.’

96. Q: What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery? A: Welfy

95. Who is Frosty’s favourite Aunt? Aunt Artica!

94. Q: Which holiday mascot has the least spare change? A: St. Nickel-less

93. What do snowmen eat for lunch ? Icebergers !

92. Why did Frosty have a carrot in his nose? Because he forgot where the refrigerator was.

91. Did you know Santa had only eight reindeer last Christmas? Comet stayed home to clean the sink.

90. What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib? A snowmobile!

#89 – 80. Funny Christmas Jokes

89. Q: What kind of bike does Santa Claus ride? A: A Holly Davidson.

88. Q: What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? A: RUDEolph.

87. What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert? Lost!

86. Q: What’s Santa’s favorite song by the Ramones? A: Blitzen-krieg Bop.

85. What did the snowman order at McDonalds ? Icerbergers with chilly sauce!

84. Q: Why did Scrooge keep a pet lamb? A: Because it would say, “Baaaaahh humbug!”

83. Q: What do you call Santa’s helpers? A: Subordinate Clauses.

82. Q:What do you call Kris Kringle when he goes on his wife’s health insurance? A: A dependent Claus.

81. What does Frosty call ice? Skid stuff!

80. Q: How did Scrooge win the football game? A: The ghost of Christmas passed

#79 – 70. Funny Christmas Jokes

79. How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ? You wake up wet!

78. Q: How do you lift a frozen car? A: With a Jack Frost

77. Q: “Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card?” A: “Because he went down in History.”

76. Q: Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed? A: Because he had low elf esteem.

75. What kind of cake does Frosty like? One with icing?

74. Why was the snowman’s dog called Frost? Because Frost bites.

73. What goes ‘oh, oh, oh’? Santa walking backwards!

72. Q: How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas? A; He was hooked on trees his whole life

71. What two letters of the alphabet do snowmen prefer? I.C.!

70. What do road crews use at the North Pole? Snow cones!

#69 – 60. Funny Christmas Jokes

69. How do snowmen read their e-mails? With an icy-stare!

68. What did Frosty call his cow? Eskimoo!

67. How do snowmen greet each other? Ice to meet you!

66. Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens? A: So he can ho-ho-ho.

65. Where do snowmen keep their money? In a snow bank.

64. What’s a good holiday tip? Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

63. Q: What is Santa’s primary language? A: North Polish.

62. Why are there only snow men and not snow women? Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.

61. What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

60. What did the reindeer say to the football player? “Your Blitzen days are over!”

#59 – 50. Funny Christmas Jokes

59. Q: Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer? A: Spruce Springsteen

58. Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem!

57. What is a Snowman’s favorite Drink? Ice Tea!

56. Sister: What are you giving Mom and Dad for Christmas? Brother: A list of everything I want!

55. How does a Snowman get to work? By icicle.

54. What food do you get when you cross Frosty with a polar bear? “brrr” – “grrr”!

53. What’s a good time for Santa to come down the chimney? Anytime!

52. Where do Snowmen go to dance? To snowballs.

51. Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll!

50. How does a sheep say “Merry Christmas”? “Fleece Navidad!”

#49 – 40. Funny Christmas Jokes

49. What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps.

48. What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a knight? One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh.

47. What kind of cake does Frosty like? The kind with lots of frosting!

46. Q: Why did they couple get hitched on the 24 of December? A: So they could have a married Christmas

45. Q: What is Santa Claus’ laundry detergent of choice? A: Yule-Tide.

44. Q: What do you say to Santa when he’s taking attendance at school? A: Present.

43. Why did a snowman send his father to Siberia? Because he wanted frozen pop!

42. Q: How is the alphabet different on Christmas than any other day? A: On Christmas, it has Noel.

41. Did you hear that Santa knows karate? He has a black belt.

40. Q: Where do you find reindeer? A: It depends on where you leave them!

#39 – 30. Funny Christmas Jokes

39. Q: What Do You Sing At An Elf’s Birthday Party? A: Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow!

38. Q: What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A: A rebel without a Claus.

37. What does Santa say at the start of a race? “Ready, set, Ho! Ho! Ho!”

36. Q: Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? A: Because the present’s beneath them.

35. What is a bird’s favorite Christmas story? The Finch Who Stole Christmas.

34. Q: What do you call an elf who sings? A: A wrapper!

33. What has a jolly laugh, brings you presents and scratches up your furniture? Santa Claws.

32. What do you call a shark that delivers toys at Christmas? Santa Jaws!

31. Q: Why does St. Nick like the Temptations’ version of Silent Night best? A: Because Santa Was A Rolling Stone.

30. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.

#29 – 20. Funny Christmas Jokes

29. What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark? Frost bite!

28. Define claustrophobia. Fear of Santa Claus?

27. Q: Who is Santa’s favorite singer? A: Elf-is Presley.

26. What do elves do after school? Their gnome work!

25. Q: What do reindeer say before they tell a joke? A: This will sleigh you

24. Who doesn’t like to sit in front of the fire? A Snowman.

23. Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas. Luke: How do you know? Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.

22. What does Christmas have to do with a cat lost in the desert? They both have sandy claws.

21. Q: How can you tell a family doesn’t celebrate Christmas? A: The lights are on, but nobody’s a gnome.

20. What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman? Have an ice day!

#19 – 10. Funny Christmas Jokes

19. What do Snowmen call their offspring? Chill-dren.

18. What do you get if you cross an iPad with a Christmas tree? A pineapple!

17. Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? A: It needed to be trimmed.

16. Q: How does Santa keep his bathroom tiles immaculate? A: He uses Comet.

15. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.

14. Who are Frosty’s parents? Mom and Pop-Sicle!

13. What does a Snowman take when he gets sick? A chill pill!

12. Q: What do you call a bankrupt Santa? A: Saint Nickel-less.

11. What did Frosty’s girlfriend give him when she was mad at him? The cold shoulder!

10. Q: What cars do elves drive? A: A toyYoda.

#9 – 1. Funny Christmas Jokes

9. What happened when the icicle landed on the snowmman’s head? It knocked him out cold.

8. What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow!

7. What do you call a Snowman on roller blades? A snowmobile!

6. Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.

5. What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle!

4. What do you call an old snowman? Water!

3. What does Jack Frost like best about school? Snow and tell.

2. What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker? Frosty the Dough-man!

1. What do snowmen like to do on the weekend? Chill out.

Ideas for the top 101 funny Christmas jokes were taken from the following sources.^[1]Reader’s Digest – Christmas Jokes^[2]Boys’ Life – 50 Funny Christmas Joke and Comics^[3]Kids Activities – Christmas Jokes for Kids