Top 14 Jewish Jokes
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Humor is a very important part of Jewish culture. In fact, as much as 42% of American Jews consider having a good sense of humor as an important part of being Jewish. With that in mind, check out the top 14 Jewish jokes.
#14 – 10. Jewish Jokes
14. A synagogue has a mice problem. The custodian tries traps, bait, mice, everything. Nothing works. Finally, he goes to the rabbi and explains the problem. “I have the solution,” the rabbi says. “Well, what is it?” says the custodian. “It’s a foolproof plan,” the rabbi says, smiling. “I’ll give them all Bar Mitzvahs — we’ll never see them again!”
13. How many Zionists does it take to replace a light bulb? Four: One to stay home and convince others to do it, a second to donate the bulb, a third to screw it in and a fourth to proclaim that the entire Jewish people stands behind their actions.
12. Bernstein walks into work one day at 9. He is very late The boss is furious. “You should have been here at 8:30!” he shouts. “Why?” says Shapiro. “What happened at 8:30?”
11. Q: How was copper wire invented? A: Two jews fighting over a penny.
10. An elderly Jewish man faints and is rushed to the nearest hospital. A nurse tucks him into bed and says, “Mr. Schwartzman, are you comfortable?” Schwartzman replies, “I make a living…!”
#9 – 1. Jewish Jokes
9. Schwartz is sitting in his room, wearing only a top hat, when Steinberg strolls in “Why are you sitting here naked?” “It’s all right,” says Schwartz. “Nobody comes to visit.” “But why the hat?” “Maybe somebody will come.”
8. Q: What is a Jews biggest dilemma? A: Free Pork.
7. A group of five Jewish women are eating lunch in a busy cafe. Nervously, their waiter approaches the table. “Ladies,” he says. “Is anything okay?”
6. At the funeral of the richest man in town, a stranger saw a woman crying very loudly. The stranger said, “Are you a relative of the deceased?” “No.” “Then why are you crying?” “That’s why!”
5. Two Jews are walking through a neighborhood one evening when they notice they are being followed by a pair of hoodlums. “David,” say his friend, “we better get out of here. There are two of them, and we’re alone!”
4. I’ve been married for 34 years, and I’m still in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, I’ll be in big trouble!
3. Q: How many jews can you fit in a VW Beetle? A: 54, two in the front, two in the back, and fifty in the ashtray.
2. An old man is struck by a car and brought to the hospital. A nurse enters his room and says, “Sir, are you comfortable?” The old man replies, “I make a nice living.”
1.My wife divorced me for religious reasons. She worshipped money and I didn’t have any!
Ideas for the top 14 Jewish jokes come from the following sources.[1]SuperJokes – Jewish Joke[2]Schmooze – The 10 Best, Most Classic Jewish Joke[3]My Jewish Learning – Jewish Joke
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