Top 144 Funny Animal Jokes
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Animals can be very funny. Think about all the funny things that your dog does! In addition, animals make some of the best joke material. Check out below for the top 144 funny animal jokes.
#144 – 130. Funny Animal Jokes
144. Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? A: Put it on my bill
143. Q: How does a squid go into battle? A: Well Armed
142. Q: What is a cat’s favourite color? A: Purr-ple
141. Q: What to polar bears eat for lunch? A: Ice berg-ers
140. Q: What’s a funny fish called? A: A clownfish
139. Q: Why do bees have sticky hair? A: Because they have honeycombs
138. Q: What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A: A collie-flower!
137. Q: How do bees get to school? A: They ride the school buzz
136. Q: What kind of cars do cats drive? A: Catillacs!
135. Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian? A: He felt funny!
134. Q: Where do orcas hear music? A: Orca-stras!
133. Q: Why do cows like being told jokes? A: Because they like being a-moosed!
132. Q: What’s a frog’s favorite soda? A: Croak-a-Cola
131. Q: What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A: A receding hare line.
130. Q: What kind of cats like to go bowling? A: Alley cats
#129 – 120. Funny Animal Jokes
129. Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? A: Ouch!
128. Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? A: Odor in the court!
127. Q: What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies? A: Should we walk home or take a dog?
126. Q: What’s the most musical part of a chicken? A: The drumstick
125. Q: Why did the snake cross the road?A: To get to the other ssssssside!
124. Q: What do you call a fish without an eye? A: Fsh
123. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To show everyone he wasn’t chicken!
122. Q: What do bees do if they want to use public transport? A: Wait at a buzz stop!
121. Q: What do you call a chicken at the North Pole? A: Lost
120. Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A: A pie-thon!
#119 – 110. Funny Animal Jokes
119. Q: What do you call a dead fly? A: A flew.
118. Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? A: Ouch!
117. Q: What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? A: It gets toad away.
116. Q: Why did the leopard wear a striped shirt? A: So he wouldn’t be spotted
115. Q: What is a cat’s favorite song? A: Three Blind Mice
114. Q: Why can’t humans hear a dog whistle? A: Because dogs can’t whistle.
113. Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian? A: He felt funny!
112. Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? A: Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.
111. Q: What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? A: An eggroll!
110. Q: What are caterpillars afraid of? A: Dogger-pillars
#109 – 100. Funny Animal Jokes
109. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross the road again? A: Because she was a dirty double-crosser
108. Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a frog? A: Well, a cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night!
107. Q: Did you hear the story about the skunk? A: Never mind, it stinks!
106. Q: Why did the bee go to the doctor? A: Because he had hives
105. Q: Where do shellfish go to borrow money? A: The prawn broker.
104. Q: What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk? A: An udder failure.
103. Q: When is a well dressed lion like a weed? A: When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion)
102. Q: How do bees get to school? A: By school buzz!
101. Q: Why didn’t the chicken cross the road? A: Because there was a KFC on the other side!
100. Q: Why did the foal go to the doctor? A: Because he was a little horse
#99 – 90. Funny Animal Jokes
99. Q: What do you call a baby monkey? A: A chimp off the old block.
98. Q: Why are elephants never rich ? A: Because they work for peanuts!
97. Q: Why are cats bad storytellers? A: Because they only have one tale.
96. Q: What did the leopard say after finishing a delicious meal? A: “That hit the spot!”
95. Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologize? A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
94. Q: Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? A: He thought it was a lion!
93. Q: What do ducks watch on TV?A: Duck-umentaries
92. Q: What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? A: “Bison.”
91. Q: I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
90. Q: What kind of ties do pigs wear? A: Pig sties
#89 – 80. Funny Animal Jokes
89. Q: How do most frogs die? A: They kermit suicide!
88. Q: Why are teddy bears never hungry? A: They are always stuffed!
87. Q: Where do polar bears vote? A: The North Poll
86. Q: Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. A: I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
85. Q: Why did the dolphin cross the beach? A: To get to the other tide
84. Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?” A: “No-eye-deer.”
83. Q: What animal has more lives than a cat? A: Frogs, they croak every night!
82. Q: Why did the turkey cross the road? A: To prove she wasn’t chicken
81. Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? A: Pleased to eat you.
80. Q: What do you call an alligator who is a thief? A: A crookodile
#79 – 70. Funny Animal Jokes
79. Q: Why are teddy bears never hungry? A: They are always stuffed!
78. Q: What do you call an arctic cow? A: An eski-moo!
77. Q: Why did the turkey cross the road? A: To prove he wasn’t chicken!
76. Q: What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate? A: A candy baa.
75. Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk.
74. Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk.
73. Q: What do you call a girl cow in Spanish? A: Moo-chacha
72. Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? A: “Put it on my bill.”
71. Q: What do you call a cow that won’t give milk? A: A milk dud!
70. Q: How do you fit more pigs on your farm? A: Build a sty-scraper!
#69 – 60. Funny Animal Jokes
69. Q: What’s the first thing you should do if a bull charges you? A: Pay him!
68. Q: What’s the cheapest kind of meat you can buy? A: Deer balls. They’re under a buck.
67. Q: Why do birds fly south in the Fall? A: Because it’s too far to walk.
66. Q: Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool? A: They kept dropping their trunks.
65. Q: What kind of ant is even bigger than an elephant? A: A gi-ant
64. Q: Why do fish swim in salt water? A: Because pepper makes them sneeze
63. Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a cow? A: Roost beef
62. Q: What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine’s Day? A. You’re purrr-fect for me.
61. Q: What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? A: Bison
60. Q: What does a mixed-up hen lay? A: Scrambled eggs
#59 – 50. Funny Animal Jokes
59. Q: Where did the sheep get a hair cut? A: At the baa-baa shop.
58. Q: What do you say if you meet a toad? A: Wart’s new?
57. Q: What is the easiest way to count a herd of cows? A: Use a cow-culator
56. Q: Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? A: To the retail store!
55. Q: What did the sleepy Australian bear say at the job interview? A. “I believe I am koala-fied for this position.”
54. Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils? A: Because they have big fingers!
53. Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? A: Because it’s too far to walk
52. Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? A: Because they lactose.
51. Q: What is a dog’s favorite city? A: New Yorkie
50. Q: What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster? A: Cockerpoodledoo
#49 – 40. Funny Animal Jokes
49. Q: Why do the French eat snails? A: They don’t like fast food.
48. Q: What do cats have for breakfast? A: Mice Crispies
47. Q: What animals are on legal documents? A: Seals!
46. Q: What do you call an alligator with a vest? A: An investigator.
45. Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk
44. Q: What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic? A: His bark was much worse than his bite!
43. Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A sunburnt penguin!
42. Q: Which kinds of snakes are found on cars? A: Windshield vipers.
41. Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bull-dozer.
40. Q: Why do cows go to New York? A: To see the moosicals!
#39 – 30. Funny Animal Jokes
39. Q: What is black and white and red all over? A: A panda bear with a sunburn
38. Q: What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? A: Shear madness.
37. Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch? A: Beef jerky.
36. Q: Where did the sheep go on vacation? A: The baaaahamas
35. Q: Why shouldn’t you play basketball with a pig? A: Because it’ll hog the ball!
34. Q: What is ‘out of bounds’? A: An exhausted kangaroo!
33. Q: What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs? A: Anything you like, he can’t hear you
32. Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.
31. Q: What does a dolphin say when he’s confused? A: Can you please be more Pacific?
30. Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils? A: Because they have big fingers
#29 – 20. Funny Animal Jokes
29. Q: What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? A: Itenticle.
28. Q: What animals are the best pets? A: Cats, because they are purr-fect
27. Q: What do you call an illegally parked frog? A: Toad.
26. Q: What steps do you take if you a tiger is running towards you? A: Big ones
25. Q: Why did the lamb run over the cliff? A: He didn’t see the ewe turn!
24. Q: Why is a bee’s hair always sticky? A: Because it uses a honey comb!
23. Q: Why are fish so good at watching their weight? A: Because they have lots of scales!
22. Q: Where did the sheep go on vacation? A: The baaaahamas
21. Q: What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain? A: A drizzly bear
20. Q: What bird can be heard at mealtimes? A: A swallow
#19 – 10. Funny Animal Jokes
19. Q: What’s the difference between a fish and a piano? A: You can’t tuna fish
18. Q: What do you call a bear with no ears? A: B!
17. Q: How does a fish always know how much they weigh? A: Because they have their own scales.
16. Q: How do you make an octopus laugh? A: You give it ten-tickles.
15. Q: What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath? A: Polly unsaturated!
14. Q: What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
13. Q: Why does a rooster watch TV? A: For Hen-tertainment!
12. Q: Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? A: Because the octopus was well armed.
11. Q: What’s in the middle of a jellyfish? A: It’s jelly-button
10. Q: Why did the lion spit out the clown? A: Because he tasted funny!
#9 – 1. Funny Animal Jokes
9. Q: Why do bears have fur coats? A: Because they look silly wearing jackets
8. Q: What fish only swims at night? A: A starfish!
7. Q: Which animal always cheats on tests? A: A cheetah
6.Q: What do you call a dog magician? A: A Labracadabrador
5. Q: Why did the rooster cross the road? A: To cock-a-doodle-doo something
4. Q: Why is a fish easy to weigh? A: Because it has its own scales!
3. Q: Why do fish live in salt water? A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!
2. Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in schools.
1. Q: What do you get when you put three ducks in a box? A: A box of quackers
Ideas for the top 144 funny animal jokes were taken from the following sources.[1]Reader’s Digest – Animal Joke[2]Quick Funny Jokes – Quick, Funny Jokes![3]Ducksters – Animal Joke[4]Laugh Factory – JOKE BANK – ANIMAL JOKE
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