Top 101 Funny Dog Jokes

Having a pet such as a dog is a great experience. In addition, dogs make some of the best material for joke material. Check out below for the top 101 funny dog jokes.

#101 – 90. Funny Dog Jokes

101. Q: What do you call a large dog that meditates? A: Aware wolf.

100. Q: What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator? A: A friend you can count on.

99. Q: Why don’t blind people go skydiving more often? A: Because it frightens the dog!

98. Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus? A: He stole the show!

97. Q: Why was the dog stealing shingles? A: He wanted to become a woofer!

96. Q: What do you call a dog magician? A: A labracadabrador.

95. Q: How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster? A: Terrier-fied!

94. Two men are talking about animals. One says to the other, ‘I know of a dog worth $10,000.’ ‘Really?’ replies the other. ‘Who would have thought a dog could save so much.’

93. Q: What do you call a dog that goes to the bathroom indoors? A: A pet project.

92. Q: What did the skeleton say to the puppy? A: Bone Appétit!

91. Q: Did you hear about the dog who couldn’t stop talking like a horse? A: It was a dog and pony show.

90. Boy : When I get older I am getting a dog.
Girl: Cool what’s his name going to be.
Boy: Naked.
Girl: Why naked?
Boy: So when my friend’s come over I can tell them I am walking naked down the street.

#89 – 80. Funny Dog Jokes

89. Q: Why did the dog need help on his Pros and Cons chart? A: He was CON-fused!

88. Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a lion? A: Well you won’t be getting any mail, that’s for sure.

87. Q: Why did the owner get his dog a special collar? A: He didn’t want her to flea.

86. Q: What kind of dog chases anything red? A: A Bulldog.

85. Q: What did the dog say to the tree? A: Bark.

84. Q: What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy? A: “I must throw that doggie out the window!”

83. Q: Why don’t blind people like to sky dive? A: Because it scares the hell out of the dog.

82. Q: What does my dog and my phone have in common? A: They both have collar I.D.

81. Q: Where does a Rottweiller sit in the cinema? A: Anywhere it wants to!

80. Q: How did the little Scottish dog react when he met the Loch Ness Monster? A: He was Terrier-fied!

#79 – 70. Funny Dog Jokes

79. Q: What do you tell the guy who says he has a bulldog and shih tzu mix? A: Bullshit

78. Q: How can if you have a stupid dog? A: It chases parked cars!

77. Q: What’s a dog’s ideal job? A: Barkeology

76. Q: Why do dogs like conjunctions? A: They just love buts.

75. Q: What is a dog’s favorite food? A: Anything that is on your plate!

74. Q: What do you call a black Eskimo dog? A: A dusky husky!

73. Q: What dog can jump higher than a tree? A: Any dog can jump higher than a tree, trees cant jump.

72. Q: Why did the dog cross the road? A: To get to the “barking” lot!

71. Q: What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone? A: A golden receiver!

70. Q: What did the skeleton say to the puppy? A: bonappetite

#69 – 60. Funny Dog Jokes

69. Q: Why do dogs wag their tails? A: “Because no one else will do it for them!”

68. Q: What is a dog’s favorite city? A: New Yorkie!

67. Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? A: It barked with de-light!

66. Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus? A: He stole the show!

65. Q: What did the dog say to the sandpaper? A: Ruff!

64. Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail? A: He was trying to make both ends meet!

63. Q: What do chemists’ dogs do with their bones? A: They barium!

62. Q: What does my dog and my phone have in common? A: They both have collar I.D.

61. Q: What dog wears contact lenses? A: A cock-eyed spaniel!

60. A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’

#59 – 50. Funny Dog Jokes

59. Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have? A: A bloodhound!

58. Q: What do you call a dog with a surround system? A: A sub-woofer.

57. Q: Why did the dog need help on his Pros and Cons chart? A: He was CON-fused!

56. Q: What do you call a large dog that meditates? A: Aware wolf.

55. Q: Why did the poor dog chase his tail? A: He was trying to make both ends meet.

54. Q: What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog? A: Dingo Starr!

53. Q: What do you call a frozen dog? A: A pupsicle.

52. Q: What do you call a black Eskimo dog? A: A dusky husky!

51. Q: Why did the dog wear white sneakers? A: Because his boots were at the menders!

50. Q: What do dogs eat for breakfast? A: Pooched eggs.

#49 – 40. Funny Dog Jokes

49. Q: Why did a dog enter the church in the middle of a religious mass? A: Because he was a German shepherd.

48. Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A: A collie-flower!

47. Q: What kind of dog likes taking a bath? A: a shampoodle!

46. Q: What happens when a dog chases a cat into a geysur? A: It starts raining cats and dogs.

45. Q: What do you get when you cross a race dog with a bumble bee? A: a Greyhound Buzz.

44. Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly? A: The collie wobbles!

43. Q: When does a dog go “moo”? A: When it is learning a new language!

42. Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog? A: A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!

41. Q: What is a dog’s favorite sport? A: Formula 1 drooling!

40. Q: What kind of dog chases anything red? A: A Bulldog.

#39 – 30. Funny Dog Jokes

39. Q: What do you call a dog with a surround sound system? A: a Sub-woofer.

38. Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn’t matter…. he’s not going to come anyway.

37. Q: How is a dog and a marine biologist alike? A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.

36. Q: What do you get if you take a really big dog out for a walk? A: A Great Dane out!

35. Q: What is a dogs favorite flower? A: Anything in your garden!

34. Q: How are a dog and a marine biologist alike? A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.

33. Q: What did the hungry Dalmation say when he had some kibble?A: That hit the spot!

32. Q: Why did the snowman name his dog “Frost”? A: Because he bites!

31. Q: Why does the dog bring toilet paper to the party? A: Because he is a party pooper.

30. Q: Why didn’t the dog speak to his foot? A: Because it’s not polite to talk back to your paw!

#29 – 20. Funny Dog Jokes

29. Q: What is the dogs favorite city? A: New Yorkie! Q: Why does no one want to work for dogs? A: Because they hound their employees.

28. Q: What do you call a sheepdog’s tail that can tell tall stories? A: A shaggy dogs tale!

27. Q: What happens when it rains cats and dogs? A: You can step in a poodle.

26. Q: Who is the dogs favorite comedian? A: Growlcho Marx!

25. Q: What is a dogs favorite instrument? A: A trombone.

24. Three boys see a fire engine with a dog go by and discuss what his job is. ‘Crowd control?’ says one boy. ‘He’s the mascot.’ says the second boy. The third boy nods sagely: ‘He finds fire hydrants.’

23. Q: What do you call a frozen dog? A: A pupsicle.

22. Q: Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker? A: Because all he ever said was “Rough, Rough”

21. Q: What is the only kind of dog you can eat? A: A hot dog!

20. Q: What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone? A: A golden receiver!

#19 – 10. Funny Dog Jokes

19. Q: What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog? A: Dingo Starr!

18. Q: What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator? A: A friend you can count on.

17. Q: What do you get when you cross a race dog with a bumble bee? A: A Greyhound Buzz.

16. Q: Did you hear about the dog who couldn’t stop talking like a horse? A: It was a dog and pony show.

15. Q: What do dogs and story tellers have in common? A: They both have tails!

14. Q: Why does a dog lick his own dick? A: Because he cant make a fist

13. Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground? A: Because you can’t bury them in trees!

12. Q: What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic? A: His bark was much worse than it’s bite!

11. Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly? A: The collie wobbles!

10. Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school? A: They get their masters.

#9 – 1. Funny Dog Jokes

9. Q: What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie? A: “Well, doggone!”

8. Q: What’s more amazing than a talking dog? A: A Spelling Bee.

7. Q: What kind of dog did Dracula have? A: A bloodhound.

6. Q: What do you call a cold dog? A: A Chilli Dog.

5. Q: What is a dogs favorite flower? A: Anything in your garden!

4. Q: Why wouldn’t the dog sit on his chair? A: Because he left his sheet[shit] on there.

3. A dog walks into a job center. ‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk. ‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a gig in the circus.’ ‘The circus?’ says the dog. ‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’

2. Q: What kind of dog sounds like you can eat it? A: A sausage dog!

1. Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground? A: Because you can’t bury them in trees!

Ideas for the top 101 funny dog jokes were taken from the following sources.^[1]Reader’s Digest – Dog Joke^[2]The Dog People – 24 Amazing/Awful Dog Joke for National Joke Day^[3]Bark Post – 13 Hilarious Dog Joke Only Pup Parents Will Get^[4]Jokes 4 Us – Dog Joke