Top 35 Education Jokes

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Education is an important. However, there are many different ways you can go about educating yourself. With that in mind, check out the top 35 education jokes.

#35 – 30. Education Jokes

35. Teacher: You aren’t paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing? Pupil: No, teacher I’m having trouble listening!

34. Teacher: “Why are you late, Joseph?” Joseph: “Because of a sign down the road.” Teacher: “What does a sign have to do with you being late?” Joseph: “The sign said, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow!’”

33. Teacher: Billy, why have you not given me your homework? Billy: I made it into a paper aeroplane and someone hijacked it.

32. What do you call a well educated farmer? A farmacist

31. An English teacher has volunteered to educate prisoners at a local prison. Teacher: “can you tell me please, what comes after every sentence?” One of the prisoners then responds with; “that’s easy. Parole.”

30. How do they educate locomotive drivers? They train them

#29 – 20. Education Jokes

29. Father: How do you like going to school ? Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I’m not too keen on the time in-between !

28. Where do educated cows go? To the mooseum

27. Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?” Louie: “Because George still had the axe in his hand.”

26. Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it, lets do it. Let’s go hurtling straight into a sliding glass door and die

25. All Americans should be educated as to what propaganda is when it’s constantly being thrown at them. Propaganda is when a British person takes a good look at something.

24. When is an English teacher like a judge? When she hands out long sentences.

23. A teacher said to her little student Suzy, “Punctuate the following sentence: Fun fun fun worry worry worry.” Little Suzy thought for a moment and began her reply, “Let’s see… Fun period … fun period … fun no period … worry worry worry!”

22. Teacher: Billy, name two pronouns. Billy: Who, me? Teacher: Very good!

21. I’m proud to say that I sponsor a kid in Africa. I feed clothe and educate him all for less than 30 cents a day! That’s peanuts when compared to what it cost to send him there

20. The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, “What did you learn today?” The kid replies, “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”

#19 – 10. Education Jokes

19. Teacher: “This essay on your dog is, word for word, the same as your brother’s.” Student: Yes, sir, it is the same dog.”

18. I always listen to mumble rap when I’m studying. It’s a constant reminder on why it is important to get educated.

17. A report has concluded that pedophiles should be re-educated. What a great idea, let’s send pedophiles back to school.

16. Teacher: “Here is a math problem. If your dad earned $300 dollars a week and he gave your mother half, what should he have?” Student: “A heart attack.”

15. There are two types of people in this world. Those that can make educated guesses based on context.

14. When you are going back after vacations. The best part of going back to school is seeing all your friends. The worst part is that your teachers won’t let you talk to them.

13. Which is the most educated dinosaur? The Thesaurus

12. Educated People Are Really Hot. They have a lot of degrees

11. Teacher: “John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?” John: “You told me to do it without using tables.”

10. Why are fish poorly educated? All the schools are below C level.

#9 – 1. Education Jokes

9. In college I’m studying Pharmacy – Because I’ve always wanted to be a farmer.

8. What do you call an educated woman in a third world country? Intellectual property

7. Teacher: “Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.” Winnie: “Me.”

6. Finding one of her students making faces at others, Ms. Smith said to the child, “Bobby, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”Bobby looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”

5. Teacher asked George: “How can you prove the earth is round?” George replied: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”

4. Mother: “Why did you get such a low mark on that test?” Junior: “Because of absence.” Mother: “You mean you were absent on the day of the test?” Junior: “No, but the kid who sits next to me was.”

3. Which is the most educated nut? mAcademia.

2. Sylvia: “Dad, can you write in the dark?” Dad: “I think so. What do you want me to write?” Sylvia: “Your name on this report card.”

1. Teacher: “If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?” Vincent: “One dollar.” Teacher: “You don’t know your arithmetic.” Vincent: “You don’t know my father.”

Ideas for the top 35 education jokes come from the following sources.^[1]academic tips – Education Joke^[2]upjoke – education joke^[3]Funnp – 10 Funny Jokes about Education and Learning