Top 76 Canada Jokes
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Canada is one of the biggest countries with regards to size in the world. With that in mind, check out the top 76 Canada jokes.
Table of Contents
#76 – 70. Canada Jokes
76. Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. Thank god I live in Canada
75. What do you call a sophisticated American? A Canadian
74. I went to an all you can eat restaurant at a nudist colony in Canada It was called In the Buffet
73. Canada is a lot cooler than the United States Especially during the winter
72. 50% of Canada Is the letter A
71. What is the name of the Canadian show that has young males visit the movie-themed parks? It is the Trailer Park Boys!
70. Why shouldn’t curlers tell jokes on the ice? Because it might crack up!
#69 – 60. Canada Jokes
69. What are the two seasons predominantly seen in Canada? It is just winter and then July!
68. What is the name of the American TV show about a Canadian singer? The show is ‘Leave it to Bieber!”
67. What is the type of tire that fixes itself on its own without troubling the driver? It is a Canadian tire.
66. 3:15pm So the hockey season got cancelled in Canada because of the coronavirus 6:30pm Canada is now testing the vaccine for coronavirus
65. Sometime in the future, Canada will rule the earth. And then you’ll all be sorry.
64. How does a Canadian confess his love for his crush? “I love you even more than poutine!”
63. So the U.S. and Canada are combining their space programs to send a spacecraft to the moon. They’re calling the spaceship the Apollo-G.
62. How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool? You say, “please get out of the swimming pool.”
61. What is the best tourist advert for Canada? ‘This is the land where frostbite and sunburn happen in the same week!’
60. In Canada the seasons are, almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
#59 – 50. Canada Jokes
59. Did you hear about the guy with a map of Canada tattoed on his butt? Everytime he sits down Quebec separates.
58. What is the name of the television show that Canadian traffic police officers love to watch? It is ‘The Red Green Show’!
57. In New Brunswick, I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out. I love hockey, but I want to follow a sport that’s a little less violent. Now I’m into boxing.
56. What would be the favorite comedy show for Canadians? ‘Its Always Snowing in Winnipeg!’
55. How do you stop bacon from curling in the frying pan? Take away its broom!
54. When I successfully invade Canada and they offer me lands in a peace treaty… I’ll take Nunavut.
53. Canada called. Now they want a wall too.
52. Why do Canadians get such a good supply of hard water? This is because most of the water is frozen!
51. What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game? Driving the zam-boney.
50. How do you get a Canadian to apologize? Step on their foot.
#49 – 40. Canada Jokes
49. I really doubt Canada will invest significantly in space exploration, but I’ll believe it if they…show me the moon, eh!
48. What do you call a person who got kicked out of Canada? Can’tadian
47. Why do hockey players like baking cakes? because they’re great at icing.
46. Why can’t a girl living in America be buried in Canada? Because she is still alive
45. What is the only place in the world where you can have English and French breakfasts together? You can have them together only in Canada.
44. If you were born in France. Raised in England moved to Canada and died in the USA what are you…? Dead.
43. Canada could have had it all: American industry, British Culture, and French Cuisine. Instead, they got: French Industry, American culture, and British cuisine
42. Canada’s starting a space program to send a spaceship to the moon They’re calling the spaceship Apollo-G.
41. The combination of legalized marijuana and Canadas cold winter brings us to a state of collective…High-brrr-nation
40. What should you call Canada when it fails at something? You call it Can’tada!
#39 – 30. Canada Jokes
39. Kevin went to Canada for cheaper insulin. Kevin got arrested for smuggling drugs.
38. What would the space program be called when the United States and Canadians collaborate? It would be called the Apollo-G!
37. Did you hear the joke about the guy who tattooed the map of Canada on his butt? Every time he sits down, Quebec separates.
36. If you’re Canadian when you go into the washroom, and you’re Canadian when you come out of the washroom, then what are you when you are in the washroom? European!
35. Covid Christmas in Canada You can get together with your family on Christmas and smoke weed and the only illegal part is getting together with your family.
34. In which way is the USA better than Canada? It has nicer neighbors!
33. What was the time on the clock when the Canadian Prime Minister ate the poutine? It was Eight P.M.!
32. Have you heard that new dog sled team from Canada that formed a rock band? They’re called Mush.
31. What was the name of the sport called hockey before it became so famous in Canada? It was just known as hock!
30. What is the name of the place in Canada that can instantly take you to Brazil? The name of the place is Onta-Rio!
#29 – 20. Canada Jokes
29. Why was the Canadian friend late in reaching the airport? He got delayed because he was poutine in some food!
28. Why are Canadians always encouraging people and giving them belief? Because they love ‘Saving Hope’!
27. What does Canada produce that no other country in the world produces? Canadians.
26. One day Canada will take over the world Then you’ll all be sorry
25. Why do Canadians love helping people in times of trouble? Because they are Can-aid-ians!
24. Someone tried to sell me Canada. I was having Nunavut.
23. What do Mexico and Canada have in common? They both border on stupidity.
22. I just found out Canada isn’t real Turns out it was all just mapleleaf
21. Name the two seasons of Canada. Winter, and July.
20. Why couldn’t I reach my Canadian friend during an emergency? Because he was watching a game of hockey!
#19 – 10. Canada Jokes
19. Why are Canadian students so smart? They get lots of ehs.
18. What is the only place in the world where the United Kingdom and Latin America meet? They meet in British Columbia.
17. I’m moving to Canada Where all the sorry people reside
16. What are two seasons predominantly seen in Canada? It is just winter and then July!
15. A lumberjack went in to a magic forest in Canada to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!” The lumberjack grinned, “And you will dialogue!”
14. There’s a rumor that Trump is fleeing to Canada…It isn’t Trudeau.
13. Why is maple syrup always so sad? Because it’s sappy.
12. What has antlers and sucks blood? A moose-quito!
11. How did the beaver bid farewell to the maple leaf tree? He said, “It really has been nice gnawing you!”
10. What constitutes fifty percent of Canada? The letter A!
#9 – 1. Canada Jokes
9. What is the greatest irony regarding peaceful Canadians? They become violent when their hockey team loses.
8. Beavers are great dam builders and Canada’s national animal. That’s why Canada is the best damn country in the world!
7. In Canada, they use “B.C.E.” instead of “B.C” It stands for Before Christ, Eh?
6. What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Titanic have in common? They both look good until they hit the ice.
5. What did the snow say to the Rocky Mountains? I’ve got your covered.
4. Did you know that Canada has a real hard water problem? Most of the time, it’s frozen.
3. I don’t believe Canada is real. I think it’s all maple leaf.
2. What is the name of the Canadian TV show that everyone loves to watch? The name of the show is ‘The Cold & The Beautiful’!
1. In Canada, you are more likely to die of a kick from a moose than a terrorist attack. Those damn moose limbs.
Ideas for the top 76 Canada jokes come from the following sources.[1]upjoke – Canada joke[2]Uncovering British Columbia – 101+ Laugh out Loud Canada Joke and Puns[3]The Great Canadian Bucket List – Canada’s Best Jokes[4]kidadl – 100 Best Canada Joke And Puns
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