Top 44 Kiss Jokes

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Kissing is one of the most ways to show your love. With that in mind, check out the top 44 kiss jokes.

#44 – 40. Kiss Jokes

44. What sound do hedgehogs make when they kiss? Ouch

43. What do you call someone who likes to kiss dead people’s necks? A necromancer.

42. What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird? Cherpies, but don’t worry.

41. Don’t kiss after midnight, folks It’s not proper to kiss on a first date

40. Why were the paleontologists kissing? They were carbon dating

#39 – 30. Kiss Jokes

39. They say kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray…I’ll remember that next time I get lonely.

38. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?? “Ouch!”

37. Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.

36. You know, I didn’t kiss my wife until I was married…because she wasn’t my wife until we were married.

35. As we left the restaurant, she kissed me and said, “We should have dinner again.” “No thanks,” I replied, “I’m full.”

34. If your nose is kind of runny and you go to kiss your honey, you may think that it is funny But it’s snot

33. My son asked if he could give me a kiss…”Disgusting! I’m old enough to be your father!”

32. Its ok to kiss a nun…but don’t get into the habit.

31. What does french kiss sound like? Moi moi

30. You shouldn’t kiss anyone on January 1st because it’s only the first date.

#29 – 20. Kiss Jokes

29. Take it easy people. Pretty soon you’ll be able to kiss and have sex with the one you love. But for now, stay at home and do it with the one you’re married to.

28. Even during COVID, my church insists we line up and kiss the statue of Jesus on the Crucifix. Have they never heard of cross contamination!?

27. Why did the diode kiss the capacitor? He couldn’t resistor.

26. My little girl just asked for a goodnight kiss on her nose….I said I can’t kiss that thing it smells!

25. You shouldn’t kiss anyone on January 1st It’s only the first date

24. My wife told me, “When you kiss my neck, it feels magical.” I guess you could say I’m a neckromancer.

23. If a girl has to kiss a lot of frogs before she finds her Prince Charming Does that mean she has to let a lot of toads in the hole first?

22. How do you kiss someone at the end of the world? On the apocalypse.

21. I would totally kiss a dude for some 2% milk right now No Homo

20. “Kiss me and I’ll turn int a beautiful princess,” said the frog to my friend. He kissed it…And croaked because it was a poison arrow frog.

#19 – 10. Kiss Jokes

19. Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that sting!

18. I saw a dolphin kissing a raven. Didn’t expect to see that as the highlight of the NFL game.

17. My girlfriend and I smashed toes trying to kiss each other I replied in agony nice toe meet you.

16. Don’t kiss anyone today It’s only the first date!

15. How do flowers kiss? With their tulips

14. How do flowers kiss? With their tulips

13. What’s it like to kiss a vampire? A real pain in the neck!

12. Do you ever wake up, kiss the person beside you and feel glad you are alive? I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!

11. I tried to give my gf an eskimo kiss…but she wasn’t inuit

10. Can a priest kiss a nun? As long as he doesn’t get into the habit

#9 – 1. Kiss Jokes

9. Me: You shouldn’t kiss someone on January 1st Daughter: Why not? Me: Because it’s the first date

8. Me: Thanks for always being there for me. *leans in for a kiss* Liquor store clerk: Sir, please just pay for your stuff and leave.

7. Why did Paco’s girlfriend not want to kiss him? She was afraid of the a-Paco-lips.

6. When you kiss your honey, and your nose is kind of runny, you may think it’s funny, but it’s not. Snot

5. What happens when you kiss a girl with a runny nose You may think it’s funny but its snot

4. Do you kiss on the first date? What about the first raisin?

3. A boy leaned over to steal a kiss from his girl, but she was leaning over to steal a kiss at the same time. They both made out like bandits.

2. Don’t kiss after midnight It’s not proper to kiss on a first date!

1. The cleanest way to greet a member of the band Kiss Is to say “Hygiene!”

Ideas for the top 44 kiss jokes come from the following sources.^[1]punstoppable – kiss puns)^[2]upjoke – kiss joke