Top 55 Beer Jokes
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Drinking alcohol and beer can lead to some funny situations. With that in mind, check out the top 55 beer jokes that will make you LOL!
Table of Contents
#55 – 50. Beer Jokes
55. Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
54. Q: What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini? A: “Olive or twist?”
53. Q: What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a bottle of Jack Daniels? A: A guy will actually SEARCH for a bottle of Jack Daniels.
52. A Roman walks into a bar, He holds up two fingers and says “give me five beers.”
51. Q: Why don’t Democrats drink? A: It interferes with their suffering!
50. Q: What is printed on the bottom of beer bottles in the south? A: Open other end.
#49 – 40. Beer Jokes
49. Q: Why did the bartender mix Pabst Blue Ribbon and Smirnoff Vodka for the gynecologist? A: She ordered a “Pabst Smir!”
48. Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common? A: Fu@king close to water!
47. I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’
46. Q: What did the bartender say after a book walked into the bar? A: “Please, no stories!”
45. Q: How do you find a man in a bar who is sensitive, caring and good looking? A: He’s nursing a Mike’s Hard Lemonade and is acting super super gay!
44. Q: Why did Mexicans create Corona? A: So ugly people would have a chance at having sex!
43. Q: How is a casino like a woman? A: Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
42. Q: How does a man show he’s planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of Miller Lite instead of one.
41. Q: What is the difference between beer and piss? A: About 30 min.
40. Q: What is a rednecks last words? A: “HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS!”
#39 – 30. Beer Jokes
39. Q: What is a redneck’s last words? A: Hold my beer and watch this!
38. Q: How can you find the guy who drank a case of Coors Light? A: He’s the one dancing like an asshole!
37. Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None. It should already be open by the time she brings it.
36. A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says “A beer please! and one for the road!”
35. What is a trees favorite thing to drink. Root Beer
34. Q: Why are Men like coolers? A: Load them with Bud Light, and you can take them anywhere!
33. Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won’t give in? A: “Have another beer.”
32. Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common? A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
31. Q: How do you know a man is really really gay? A: When he’s nursing a Bacardi Breezer!
30. Q: What do Russians get when mixing Holy Water with Vodka? A: The Holy Spirit!
#29 – 20. Beer Jokes
29. A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer, the bartender says no. The midget asks why, the bartender says “You’re a little drunk”
28. Q: How many men does it take to open a Budweiser bottle? A: none. the lady should already have it open on the table!
27. How does a man show he’s planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
26. Q: What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football? A: The sofa doesn’t keep asking for Bud Light!
25. Q: You know what’s fun about being sober? A: Nothing.
24. Q: What’s the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
23. Q: What do blondes and bottle of Corona have in common? A: Their both empty from the neck up!
22. Q: What did the man with slab of asphalt under his arm order? A: “A beer please, and one for the road.”
21. Q: How do you start a parade in the ghetto? A: Roll a 40 down the street.
20. Q: What does a ghost drink? A: BOO’S
#19 – 10. Beer Jokes
19. What is a “successful hunting trip”? When three men kill 9 cases of Budweiser in two days
18. Q: Why does Corona go through your system so fast? A: Because it does not have to stop to change color
17. Q: What do you call a book about drinking games? A: The Guinness Book of World Records.
16. Q: What do you call a man with a pint of Labatts on his head? A: A taxi. Clearly, he’s had too much booze and is being a nuisance.
15. Q: What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet? A: A Budweiser in each hand!
14. Q: What do you call a man running with a beer? A: Edward Forty-hands.
13. Why do they never serve beer at a math party? – Because you can’t drink and derive.
12. A mushroom walked into a pub. He asked the bartender to give him a beer. The bartender said, “I can’t, you’ll get too rowdy.” The mushroom then said, “Oh come on! When I drink, I’m a fun guy!”
11. Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? A: Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!
10. A skeleton walks into a bar. Orders a beer and a mop.
#9 – 1. Beer Jokes
9. Q: How does a man show he is planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of beer.
8. Q: What does a wet beer fart leave in your shorts? A: A Bengal stripe.
7. Why doesn’t Jesus buy beer? Hebrews.
6. A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, ¨Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
5. Q: What is the similarity between Michelob Ultra and having sex in a rowboat? A: They are both SO close to water!
4. What do men and beer have in common? They’re both empty from the neck up.
3. Q. Why did God invent Jameson whiskey? A. So the Irish would never rule the world!
2. What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer? He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.
1.Q: Where do monkeys go to grab a beer? A: The monkey bars!
Ideas for the top 55 beer jokes come from the following sources.[1]SuperJokes.net – Beer Joke[2]Jokes4Us – Beer Joke[3]Jokes4All – Beer Joke[4]Worst Jokes Ever – Beer Joke
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