Top 64 St Patricks Day Jokes

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St. Patrick’s Day is an Irish celebration that takes place on March 17 every year. It usually involves Irish music, festivals, parades, and wearing green clothing. It is also a great time for jokes. With that in mind, check out the top 64 St Patricks Day jokes.

#64 – 60. St Patricks Day Jokes

64. How does every Irish joke start? By looking over your shoulder.

63. Why wasn’t Jesus born in Ireland? He couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin.

62. Why are so many leprechauns florists? They have green thumbs!

61. I went out drinking on St Patricks Day, so I took a bus home…That may not be a big deal to you, but I’ve never driven a bus before.

60. What kind of bow can’t be tied? A rainbow!

#59 – 50. St Patricks Day Jokes

59. What’s Irish and stays out all night? Paddy O’furniture!

58. What’s a leprechaun’s favorite kind of music? Sham-rock and roll.

57. What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? Four girlfriends drinking on St Patricks Day!

56. What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun with a Texan? A pot of chili at the end of the rainbow!

55. Why do leprechauns hate running? They’d rather jig than jog!

54. Why don’t women want to get engaged on St Patricks Day? ‘Cause they don’t want to get a “sham rock”.

53. How do you blind an Irish woman? You put a bottle of scotch in front of her.

52. Why did the leprechaun climb over the rainbow? To get to the other side!

51. What did the leprechaun say on March 17? “Irish you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day!”

50. Are people jealous of the Irish? Sure, they’re green with envy!

#49 – 40. St Patricks Day Jokes

49. How can you spot a jealous shamrock? It will be green with envy!

48. What would you get if you crossed Quasimodo with an Irish football player? The Halfback of Notre Dame!

47. Why do leprechauns hide behind 4-leafclovers and not 3-leafclovers? They need all the luck they can get!

46. What’s big and purple and lies next to Ireland? Grape Britain!

45. What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!

44. Do leprechauns make good secretaries? Sure, they’re great at shorthand!

43. What do you call leprechauns who collect aluminum cans, used newspapers and plastic bottles? “Wee-cyclers!”

42. What is Irish diplomacy? It’s the ability to tell a man to go to hell.

41. On what musical instrument did the showoff musician play his St. Patrick’s Day tunes? On his brag-pipes.

40. What do you call a Cubic Zirconia in Ireland? A sham rock

#39 – 30. St Patricks Day Jokes

39. What’s the main difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? 1 less drunk at the party

38. How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? He’s Dublin over with laughter!

37. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control his wife? A bachelor.

36. What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green? A Jolly Green Giant

35. What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover? A rash of good luck.

34. Where do leprechauns buy their groceries? Rainbow Foods!

33. Why did the leprechaun turn down a bowl of soup? Because he already had a pot of gold!

32. Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with? Because they’re very short-tempered!

31. What do you get when you cross a pillowcase with a stone? A sham rock

30. What do leprechauns prefer dollar bills to coins? Because they’re green!

#29 – 20. St Patricks Day Jokes

29. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day? Regular rocks are too heavy.

28. What’s a leprechaun’s favorite cereal? Lucky charms!

27. What do the Irish dream about? Celebrating St. Patrick’s Day with his gang of leprechauns.

26. Why don’t you iron 4-Leaf clovers? Because you don’t want to press your luck.

25. What do you call a big Irish spider? Paddy long legs!

24. What do you call a diseased Irish criminal? A leper con

23. Why do leprechauns recycle? They like to go green!

22. Why do leprechauns have pots o’gold? They like to “go” first class!

21. What do bullshitters like most about St. Patricks day? the BLARNEY stone!

20. Why doesn’t Simon Cowell drink on St Patricks Day? It interferes with his suffering!

#19 – 10. St Patricks Day Jokes

19. How do you start the St Patricks Day parade in the ghetto? Roll a 40 down the street!

18. What do perverted leprechauns drink on St. Patricks Day? Mount & Do

17. What do they call the Irish jig at McDonalds? A Shamrock Shake

16. What’s long & green & has a low I.Q.? a St. Patrick’s Day Parade

15. Why do leprechauns giggle when they play soccer? Cause the grass tickles their balls

14. “I married an Irishman on St. Patrick’s Day.” “Oh, really?” “No, O’Reilly!”

13. Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato? To keep from falling in the stew!

12. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe? Some poor horse is going barefoot!

11. Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day? Because they’re always wearing green

10. What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick’s Day? St. O’Claus!

#9 – 1. St Patricks Day Jokes

9. Why did God invent Jameson whiskey? So the Irish would never rule the world.

8. When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato? When it’s a FRENCH fry!

7. Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because they’re always a little short.

6. How did the leprechaun beat the Irishman to the pot of gold? He took a shortcut!

5. How is a best friend like a 4-leaf clover? Because they are hard to find and lucky to have.

4. Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland? He couldn’t afford plane fare

3. Why did the leprechaun walk out of the house? He wanted to sit on the paddy-o!

2. What do ghosts drink on St Patricks Day? BOOs

1. How did the Irish Jig get started? Too much to drink and not enough restrooms!

Ideas for the top 64 St Patricks day jokes were taken from the following sources.^[1]Jokes 4 Us – St Patrick’s Day One-Liners Jokes^[2]iMom – 20 Fun St. Patrick’s Day Jokes for Kids^[3]Boys’ Life – 10 Funny St. Patrick’s Day Jokes and Comics