Top 68 Asian Jokes

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Asians are a big part of the world’s population. As such, it is not much of a surprise that there are a lot of jokes about them. With that in mind, check out the top 68 Asian jokes.

#68 – 60. Asian Jokes

68. how do asians name there kids? they throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)

67. School is like a boner. It’s long and hard unless you’re Asian.

66. Occupy Wall Street? Why not Occupy Library?

65. Hardest job in the world: police sketch artist in China.

64. You cure Cancer? What about AIDS?

63. You want to be Jedi Master? Why no Jedi Doctor?

62. What Do You Call An Asian Prostitute? Suck Mi Dong

61. Welcome to Asia’s newest billionare. His name is Cha Ching.

60. Asians are so bad at driving, I’m starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.

#59 – 50. Asian Jokes

59. what do you say to a fat Asian? you got more chins then a Chinese phone book

58. How do they name Chinese baby’s? They throw silverware down the stairs until they hear something they like.

57. Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house? A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he’s still trying to back out of the driveway.

56. God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.

55. What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian? Poke me mon.

54. Q: What happens when you spin an asian man on a swivel chair? A: He gets disoriented!

53. Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.

52. You only score 4 on AP test. I 4get I have child.

51. You have small boobs because only A’s are acceptable.

50. A guy asks a Chinese lady for her phone number she says, “Free, sex, free, sex, tonight.” The guy said,” wow” and her friend says she means 363629.

#49 – 40. Asian Jokes

49. An A- is an A minus my love for you

48. You want to play sports? Fine be Mathlete.

47. Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.

46. Saw this bumper sticker in L.A. – “I’m not drunk, I’m Asian”

45. Spongebob is yellow, and he can’t drive. Must be Asian.

44. Why you drop F-bomb…Drop A-bomb instead

43. ASIANS with no A’s ……SIN

42. How do you know if an Asian robbed you? Your homework is done and cats gone.

41. China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

40. What do you call a disabled Asian? Sum Ting Wong

#39 – 30. Asian Jokes

39. Now that you have a Harvard degree…you can go play with your friends in the NBA.

38. What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores… There is always a kitchen in the back

37. B+ on your blood test? Failure runs through your veins.

36. All I want for you is to be happy…and a Doctor.

35. You finish all your homework? Do IT AGAIN!

34. Love don’t last forever unless he’s a doctor or a lawyer.

33. If you drop your phone in water, put it in a bowl of rice. Overnight an Asian will come to your house, fix the phone, eat the rice and then run away.

32. Be like Fonzie, He say AAAA.

31. “To be or not to be” is not a question. Two A or you not my son.

30. Yo have 99 problems and you must finish each one.

#29 – 20. Asian Jokes

29. B Plus? B Homeless

28. Why can’t two Asians make a white kid? Because two wongs don’t make a white

27. Q: How do Asian parents name their kids? A: They drop a tin can down the stairs and it makes the noise Bing ling wata ling ling.

26. How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian? The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.

25. Q: How do you know if Asians are moving into the neighborhood? A: The Mexicans start buying car insurance.

24. Q: Why did the Asian cross the road? A: Because he had no car!

23. My Chinese friend died recently, So Yung.

22. Asian without As is just sin.

21. What the number one crime in asia? Identity theft.

20. You Sick? Become doctor heal yourself.

#19 – 10. Asian Jokes

19. Underneath China it says “Made in Chuck Norris”.

18. Daylight savings time, you gain extra hour for homework.

17. Calculator? Why not CalcuNow!

16. When a white person delivers an asian baby. White person: “Congratulations he looks like your husband… mom… cousin… uncle… neighbor…”

15. You allergic to Bees……GOOD!

14. No son you can’t learn Spanish, All they say is “C”

13. God made each and everyone of us until he got to China. Copy paste…copy paste…

12. School reminds me of a p….. Its long and hard unless your Asian

11. Facebook? Why don’t you Face Book and study.

10. Asians are so bad at driving, I’m starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.

#9 – 1. Asian Jokes

9. Hardest job in the world: police sketch artist in China.

8. No more Honey! Honey comes from B’s.

7. What do you call an asian kid who’s bad at math? An orphan

6. You forget to study….I forget to feed you.

5. Q: What has two wings and a halo? A: IAn asian phone call, Wing, Wing, Halo?

4. Why you get C? Your not C-sian or B-sian your Asian.

3. You have Sex? Why not use A-hole.

2. You get 94 percent on test Good Job. If you were trying to disappoint me.

1.Yo mama so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phone book.

Ideas for the top 68 Asian jokes were taken from the following sources. ^[1]Jokes 4 Us – Asian Joke^[2]Super Jokes – Jokes about Asia^[3]Worst Jokes Ever – Asian Joke^[4]UniJokes – Best Asian Joke