Humor

Top 44 Barack Obama Jokes

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Barack Obama was the 44th president of the United States. He is known as a great orator. With that in mind, check out the top 44 Barack Obama jokes.

#44 – 40. Barack Obama Jokes

44. Why did Barack Obama cross the road? To help the other side!

43. Republicans: “Obama would not have won without blacks, Hispanics, gays or Jews.” Democrats: “Or as we like to call them: Americans”

42. Sasha and Malia aren’t here tonight because they’re grounded. You can’t just take Air Force One on a joy ride to Manhattan. I don’t care whose kids you are.

41. How is Obama going to make the tabacco industry pay for health care reform? By allowing Marlboro Miles to be redeemed for health care coverage!

40. Why won’t Obama release his real birth certificate? He accidently smoked it.

#39 – 30. Barack Obama Jokes

39. How can Barack Obama get the rich to pay their taxes? By nominating them to a cabinent post!

38. Why can’t Obama dance? Cause he has two leftist feet.

37. Why do you want Obama in your band? He has smoked rocks and knows how to roll (weed).

36. It is hard to believe this is my seventh year of pardoning a turkey. Time flies, even if turkeys don’t.

35. How did Barack Obama propose to Michelle Robinson? He got down on one knee and said “I don’t wanna be Obama self.

34. Did you hear about the reporter who asked Obama a hard question? Neither have I!

33. How is Barack Obama going to get Republicans to cross party lines and support health care reform? By giving their mistresses free breast implants!

32. Barack Obama is on a sinking ship, who gets saved? The Country!

31. What’s the main difference between Romneycare and Obamacare? The name.

30. Why shouldn’t Democrats worry about losing the midterm elections? Apparently depression is covered by Obamacare.

#29 – 20. Barack Obama Jokes

29. What do you call a Nebraskan who hates Obama? A CORNservative.

28. Why is it pointless for Barack Obama to hold Senior Citizens Q & A sessions on the internet? Because microwave ovens don’t have internet connections!

27. What I haven’t told them yet is we are going to do this every year from now on. No cameras, just us, every year. No way I’m cutting this habit cold turkey.

26. How do you know your doctor is not a fan of Obama’s Health Care Plan? He/she has remodeled the waiting room with death paneling.

25. Under Obama’s health care plan can you get coverage for preexisting conditions? Certainly, as long as they don’t require any treatment!

24. Why is Healthcare reform so important to the enigmatic Barack Obama? His pregnant mom was turned away from many hospitals and was forced to give birth in a manger!

23. Why is it surprising that Dick Cheney and Barack Obama are related? Because Dick Cheney now has more blacks and gays in his own family than in the entire Republican Party!

22. What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama? Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears; Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.

21. For the past seven years I’ve established another tradition: Embarrassing my daughters with a corny-copia of dad jokes about turkeys.

20. What is Barack Obamas favorite TV show? Game of Drones.

#19 – 10. Barack Obama Jokes

19. What did Barack Obama tell Al Qaida after Osama Bin Laden’s death? Don’t put your contact info on the Playstation Network!

18. Dear Women voters, Barack Obama lives in a house full of women. Mitt Romney has binders full of women.

17. What kind of lip balm do presidents use? Barack oBALMa!

16. U.S Presidents and Statesmen are on every piece Of U.S. currency. So Will Barack Obama Be Placed On The FoodStamp Card?

15. Why shouldn’t Sarah Palin look into Barack Obama’s campaign contributions after learning “Obama may have received $3.3 million from abroad?” It turns out that broad is Oprah Winfrey!

14. What does Barack Obama call illegal aliens? Undocumented democrats.

13. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack? He thought Barry sounded too American.

12. Other than health care what other promises has Barack Obama made to the American People? Balancing the budget, reining in the banks and putting a unicorn in every backyard!

11. What’s more unacceptable than another 4 years of Obamacare? Another 8 years of Romneycare!

10. Why has America gotten past our racist past? Because we picked a black man to clean up our mess!

#9 – 1. Barack Obama Jokes

9. Why did Barack Obama save the auto industry? Because his shareholders are the American people!

8. What drink do you get with the McObama Happy Meal in Pakistan? No drink JUST ICE!

7. Why won’t Barack Obama be celebrating his birthday? Republicans won’t let Democrats raise taxes on the rich let alone Barack Obama’s age!

6. What did Osama Bin Laden’s ghost say to Mitt Romney? “Don’t be sad, Obama’s foreign policy killed me too”

5. What’s Michelle Obamas favorite vegetable? Barackoli

4. Did you hear who Barack Obama thinks is more dangerous than Dictators in the Middle East? Reverend Jeremiah Wright and a microphone!

3. Will health care be different under Barack Obama’s new reforms? No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then!

2. What kind of doctor do you need to fix Obamacare? A URLologist

1. What is Barack Obama telling Independents? Orange Is NOT The New Black.

Ideas for the top 44 Barack Obama jokes come from the following sources.[1]Jokes4Us – Barack Obama joke[2]Insider – 21 jokes Obama made in office that had his daughters cringing