Top 101 Kids Jokes

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Some of the best jokes are those from kids. They way that they look at the world is just hilarious. With that in mind, check out the top 101 kids jokes.

#101 – 90. Kids Jokes

101. Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel.

100. Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying? A: Because he never lands.

99. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed.

98. What kind of water cannot freeze? Hot water.

97. Q: Why did the little boy throw his clock out the window? A: Because he wanted to see time fly.

96. If April showers bring Mayflowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims!

95. Q: What has two legs but can’t walk? A: A pair of pants.

94. How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.

93. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!

92. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!

91. Q: Why couldn’t the sailor learn his alphabet? A: Because he always got lost at C.

90. Q: What did the snowman say to the other snowman? A: Do you smell carrots?

#89 – 80. Kids Jokes

89. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frost bite!

88. Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park? A: They woke him up.

87. Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A:  A bulldozer!

86. Q: What did the policeman say to his belly button? A: You’re under a vest.

85. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honey combs!

84. How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall.

83. Q: What did the traffic light say to the car? A: Don’t look. I’m about to change.

82. Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope? A: Stick with me and we’ll go places together.

81. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!

80. Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Right where you left him!

#79 – 70. Kids Jokes

79. What building in New York has the most stories? The public library!

78. Q: Why is there a fence around a cemetery? A: People are dying to get in.

77. Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!

76. What do you call a fly without wings? A walk!

75. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells!

74. What did the limestone say to the geologist? Don’t take me for granite!

73. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean meat!

72. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

71. What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you!

70. Q: Do you know how many famous men and women were born on your birthday? A: None, only babies.

#69 – 60. Kids Jokes

69. What do you call a duck that gets all A’s? A wise quacker.

68. What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? A: Thunderwear.

67. What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!

66. Q: What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline? A: A milkshake.

65. Q: Who did Frankenstein’s monster bring to prom? A: His goulfriend.

64. Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other? Dill with it.

63. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

62. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!

61. What did the little corn say to the mama corn? Where is pop corn?

60. Q: What are the only kind of trees that grow fingers? A: Palm trees.

#59 – 50. Kids Jokes

59. Q: Why was the broom late? A: It over-swept.

58. Q: What stays in a corner and travels all over the world? A: A stamp.

57. Where would you find an elephant? The same place as you lost her!

56. Q: What did the fisherman say to the magician? A: Pick a cod, any cod.

55. What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!

54. How do you talk to a giant? Use big words!

53. Q: Which is the longest word in the dictionary? A: “Smiles,” because there are miles between each “s.”

52. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!

51. Q: What is a pirate’s favorite letter? A: ARRRRRRRR.

50. Q: What room doesn’t have doors? A: A mushroom.

#49 – 40. Kids Jokes

49. Q: What music frightens balloons? A: Pop music.

48. What do you call a ghost’s true love? His ghoul-friend.

47. When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look? Because when you find it, you stop looking.

46. Q: How does a train eat? A: It goes chew chew.

45. Q: Why do sharks swim in saltwater? A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

44. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying? You rocket!

43. Q: Why can’t Cinderella play soccer? A: Because she’s always running away from the ball.

42. Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? A: In case he got a hole in one.

41. Q: What did the zero say to the eight? A:  Nice belt!

40. What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!

#39 – 30. Kids Jokes

39. Q: How does Darth Vader like his toast? A: On the dark side.

38. Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogie in it.

37. Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

36. When does a joke become a “dad” joke? When the punchline is a parent.

35. Q: What kind of money do mermaids use? A: Sand dollars.

34. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A dino-snore!

33. Q: Why are Teddy Bears never hungry? A: Because they’re always stuffed.

32. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course!  The Empire State Building can’t jump!

31. What do you call a droid that takes the long way around? R2 detour.

30. Q: What do you say when you lose a Wii game? A: I want a Wii-match.

#29 – 20. Kids Jokes

29. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had so many problems!

28. How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concern…

27. What falls in winter but never gets hurt? Snow!

26. What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses? A coconut on vacation.

25. What animal is always at a baseball game? A bat.

24. What animal needs to wear a wig? A bald eagle!

23. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!

22. What has ears but cannot hear? A cornfield.

21. Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet? A: You look flushed.

20. What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!

#19 – 10. Kids Jokes

19. What is a tornado’s favorite game to play? Twister!

18. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

17. What is fast, loud and crunchy? A rocket chip!

16. Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.

15. Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? A: He wanted to go to high school.

14. What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling!

13. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!

12. What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis!

11. Knock knock. Who’s there? A little old lady? A little old lady who? I didn’t know you could yodel!

10. What did the Dalmatian say after lunch? That hit the spot!

#9 – 1. Kids Jokes

9. Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because her mom and dad were in a jam.

8. How do we know that the ocean is friendly? It waves!

7. Q: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A: The same middle name.

6. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9

5. Q: What race is never run? A: A swimming race.

4. Q: What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? A: Sneakers.

3. Why did the man run around his bed? Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

2. Where do cows go for entertainment? To the moo-vies!

1.Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it’s over your head.

Ideas for the top 101 kids jokes come from the following sources.^[1]Red Tricycle – Here Comes the Pun: 151 Hilarious Jokes for Your Kids^[2]Everything MOM – The 137 Most Hilarious Jokes for Kids^[3]Frugal Fun 4 Boys and Girls – 75+ HILARIOUS JOKES FOR KIDS