Top 80 Art Jokes

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A picture says a thousand words. With that in mind, check out the top 80 art jokes to better understand the world around you.

#80 – 70. Art Jokes

80. Why did the art thief’s van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum? Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

79. What do you get if you cross a painter with a boxer? Muhammad Dali.

78. Why did the painter hate drawing skies? Because every time he tried, he always blue it.

77. What do artists say when they greet each other? Yellow!

76. Why did the painter get arrested? Because he was framed.

75. What does the art thief say? Give me all your monet.

74. Why are origami artists so bad at poker? They are folding continuously.

73. What is a painting done by a cat called? A paw-trait.

72. Why did the artist get into a fight with the manager at the art gallery? He wasn’t present in the right frame of mind.

71. What martial art does Homer Simpson practice? Jeet Kune D’oh!

70. When do artists take things too far? When they don’t know where to draw the line.

#69 – 60. Art Jokes

69. Why are most artists struggling with finances? Because they have no Monet.

68. Don’t get caught between a chalk and a hard place.

67. What happened when a red ship collided with a blue ship? Both of their crews were marooned.

66. What did the Italian painter who loved spice buy? He boughtachili.

65. The artist was the best. She could always draw a crowd.

64. How do you get an arts major off your doorstep? Pay for the pizza.

63. Why did the bald artist want to paint rabbits on her head? Because they look like hares from a distance.

62. Why was the photograph of the artist not good? Because it had too much exposure.

61. Why should you never trust an artist? They always seem to be a bit sketchy.

60. Where is the best place to go if you want to watch people with art degrees while they’re working? Wal-mart.

#59 – 50. Art Jokes

59. What would you call a painting made by a cat? A paw-trait.

58. What is an artist’s favorite swimming technique? The brushstroke.

57. What time do artists wake up? At the crack of drawn!

56. I used to do fine arts, until I decided I didn’t like the arts. Now I’m doing just fine.

55. I’ve developed my own style of martial arts that involves defenestration. I call it Yeet Kune Do.

54. How can an artist fill in a CV? Drawing from experience.

53. What do artists draw before retiring to bed? The curtains!

52. What do graffiti artists call empty walls? A blanksy.

51. What type of artist likes to draw flies? A dead artist.

50. When the two artists had an argument, they decided to call it a draw.

#49 – 40. Art Jokes

49. What would you normally call something hanging on the wall? Art.

48. Why did the artist visit the bathroom? Because he was ‘consti-painted.’

47. Why could Frank Gore not get into his driveway? Because someone had painted an endzone on it.

46. Where do cows usually display their artwork? In mooooseums.

45. The artist told the dentist, “Matisse hurt!”

44. When I went into my art lesson covered in yeast and flower, my teacher said I was the perfect roll-model.

43. What did the artist draw before he went to bed? The curtains!

42. What shoe brand do artists love? Sketchers.

41. Why was the artist a good cowboy? He was quick on the draw

40. I failed my art exam using the wrong pencil…I guess it wasn’t 2b.

#39 – 30. Art Jokes

39. What is the difference between an artist’s briefcase and a fortress full of diseased people? One’s a portfolio, the other is Fort Polio.

38. Why was the failed painter afraid of paint? Because he could not face paint.

37. The artist wanted to quit but he was on the home sketch.

36. Why are doctors such good artists? Because they are good at drawing blood.

35. What did the painter say to the wall? Another crack like that and I’ll have to plaster you!

34. Which famous painting is always sad? The Moaning Lisa.

33. Which farm animal was also a famous painter? Vincent van Goat.

32. Why does everyone usually paint Easter eggs?  Because it is much easier than wallpapering them.

31. Why did the artist say nothing when people said his painting was terrible? Because he got the picture.

30. Why should you always avoid sketch artists? Because they are shady.

#29 – 20. Art Jokes

29. What should you do if you find art imprisoned? You have to Freda art.

28. When Michelangelo finally painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, what did he say? I have got you covered.

27. What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying blue paint? Both crews were marooned.

26. What did mother color wheel say to her baby color wheel? I don’t like that tone.

25. Why was the artist arrested for painting in the police station? Because he had an unfortunate brush with the law.

24. What is the name of a famous barnyard painter? Pablo PIGcasso.

23. How many art gallery visitors would it approximately take to change a light bulb? Two. One who would actually do it and one to say that his 3-year-old kid could have done that.

22. When should you fix a painting? When it is Baroque.

21. What did the frustrated painter say to his wall? I’ll plaster you if you crack anymore!

20. What farm animal is an artist? Pablo Pigcaso

#19 – 10. Art Jokes

19. Why are great artists so famous? They can always draw a crowd.

18. What did the bully use when he experimented with the dark arts? A Wedgie Board.

17. What would the child of artistic parents call their mom and dad? MoMA and Dada.

16. When do all artists pass away? When they draw their last breath.

15. How many artists does it take to change a light bulb? Ten. One to change it, and nine to reassure him about how good it looks.

14. Why did the painter put jam on his toast with his bare fingers? He wanted to feel its texture.

13. What is Salvador Dali’s favorite thing to eat for breakfast? A bowl of surreal.

12. What do pirates do in their free time? They make Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt.

11. What happened when the two artists entered the art contest? It ended in a draw.

10. What did the artist feel like when he first visited the Louvre museum? It was Louvre at first sight.

#9 – 1. Art Jokes

9. What sound does a dog that’s really into art make? He doesn’t bark. He bauhaus.

8. If Michael Jackson would have been a painter, what would be his nickname? Shamone Elisa.

7. In what state is a painter’s house usually in? Work-in-progress.

6. How do you motivate artists? Easel-y.

5. Why do most artist wives love football so much?  Because it is easy to sketch their husbands who sit on the couch long enough.

4. What’s the difference between a pizza and an art degree? A pizza doesn’t deliver an art degree.

3. When you meet someone, you don’t want to get off to a bad art!

2. When an artist meets his rival, what does he say? I am challenging you for a doodle.

1. If Van Gogh were alive today, what would the title of his autobiography be? The Starry of my Life

Ideas for the top 80 art jokes come from the following sources.^[1]kidadl – 70+ Best Art Joke To Gogh Look At^[2]jokes quotes factory – 126 HILARIOUS Art Joke To Inspire Your Inner Artist!^[3]little day out – Funny art joke & puns^[4]punsandjokes – 71+ Funny Art Puns & Jokes That Will Draw You In