Top 82 China Jokes

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China is a big country with a lot of people. Needless to say, that leaves for a lot of opportunities for humor. With that in mind, check out the top 82 China jokes.

#82 – 80. China Jokes

82. Q: How do you know if an Chinaman robbed your house? A: Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the little f**ker is still trying to back out of your driveway.

81. Q: What do you call a Chinese woman on fire? A: Mel Ting.

80. Q: What do you call a game show in a Chinese Restaurant? A: Wheel of Fortune cookies.

#79 – 70. China Jokes

79. Q: What do you call an Asian receptionist? A: Tai Ping.

78. Every thing is made in china expect kids their made in vuchina (vagina)

77. Q: What has 2 wings and a halo? A: A Chinese telephone, Wing-wing, halo?

76. Q: What do you call a Chinese rapist? A: Rai Ping Yu

75. Q. What do you call a Chinese prostitute? A. Suk Mi Dong

74. Q: How do Chinese people name their kids? A: They drop a broom out the window and see what Sound it makes. Thats why your name is Ching Chang Chong.

73. Q: Why do Asian girls have small boobs? A: Because only A’s are acceptable

72. Q: Heard about the new German-Chinese restaurant? A: The food is great, but an hour later, you’re hungry for power.

71. Q: Why are there so many girls in a Chinese strip club? A: Because of all the wangs

70. Q: What do you call a Chinese Billionaire? A: Cha Ching!

#69 – 60. China Jokes

69. Q: What do you call a Chinese woman with uneven knickers? A: Wong ki fong.

68. Q: Why did the woman have a hard time walking? A: She hooked up with Du Mi Wong.

67. Q: What do you call a Chinese man with a camera? A: Phil Ming

66. Q: What do you call a Chinese protest? A: a situASIAN

65. Q: What do you call a Chinese protest? A: a SITUASIAN.

64. Q: What do you call a Chinese woman with an opinion? A: Wong

63. CHINESE PREGNANCY TEST: Put an unsolved Rubik’s cube into her vagina. If it comes out solved, she is pregnant.

62. Q: What do you call a Chinese rapper? A: Vanilla Rice

61. Q: What do you call a surprised Chinese man? A: Ho Lee Fuk

60. Q. What do you call a Chinese man with a microwave on his head? A. Ping!

#59 – 50. China Jokes

59. Q: What do you call a surprised Chinese man? A: Ho Lee Fuk

58. Q: What do you call a Chinese woman with one leg? A: Irene.

57. My parents are so Chinese they Honor-killed my sister for getting an A- on a math test!

56. Q: Why is there no Disneyland in China? A: No one’s tall enough to go on the good rides.

55. Q: Did you hear about Chinese Jesus? A: He could “Wok” on Water!.

54. Scientist say the average size of the male penis has gone down to 5 inches. This just shows how big the Chinese population is getting.

53. Q: What did the Chinese father tell his daughter? A: You allergic to bees…..Good! Get A’s or C your way out of my house.

52. Apparently animals make different sounds according to different Languages. For example, in China a Dog makes a Sizzling noise.

51. Q: Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo? A: It was Panda-monium.

50. Q: What do you call a Chinese woman on fire?A: Mel Ting

#49 – 40. China Jokes

49. Q: What do you call a Chinese dwarf? A: Tai Nee.

48. Everything is made in China. Except for babies, they’re made in VaChina.

47. Q: What has 2 wings and a halo? A: A Chinese telephone, Wing-wing, halo?

46. chinese man rings boss “me no work I sick” boss says “when im sick I f*ck my wife try that” 2 hours later chinese man rings back “me better, you got nice house

45. Q: How does every Chinese joke start? A: By looking over your shoulder.

44. Q: What do you call a guy thats half Mexican and half Chinese that wears only one sneaker? A: Juan Chu

43. Q: How do you blind an Chinese woman? A: You put a windshield in front of him.

42. Do the Chinese realize that when they’re visiting America, they buy souvenirs made in their own country?

41. Q: What do you call a Chinese Paralympian? A: Lim Ping.

40. Q: What does a Zombie call Chinese people? A: Take Out

#39 – 30. China Jokes

39. Q: I asked my Chinese friend “How is it going?” A: He replied “can not complain”

38. Q: What do you call a game show in a Chinese Restaurant? A: Wheel of Fortune cookies.

37. Q: What happens when a Mexican and an China man make a baby? A: A car thief who can’t actually drive is born.

36. Q: What do they call a guitar solo in China? A: Too Ning

35. Q: What do you call an Asian that gets on your nerves? A: Anno Ying.

34. Q: Did you hear about the look-a-like competition in China? A: Everybody won.

33. Q: What country goes to war when you drop a plate? A: CHINA!

32. Just found out that if you squint your eyes really hard you can actually make your nose bleed. I did it earlier today on the train and a Chinese person came up to me and punched me in the face.

31. Q: What do you call a bunch of Chinamen in a pool? A: Rice Krispies

30. What did one Chu say to the other Chu? Is dat Chu bro?

#29 – 20. China Jokes

29. Q: What is the most common crime in China? A: Identity Fraud.

28. Q: What time was it when the monster ate the Chinese prime minister? A: Eight P.M.

27. Q. Why can’t Chinese people have white babies? A. Because two Wongs don’t make a white.

26. Q: What do you get when you cross a Chinese and a Mexican man? A: A car thief who can’t drive!

25. My Chinese crackers prefer to be called Cracasians.

24. Q: Did you hear about the winner of the Chinese beauty contest? A: Me neither.

23. Q: What do you call a Chinese man with a camera? A: Phil Ming.

22. Q: Why do the Chinese hate American football? A: They spend 13 hours a day making them

21. Q: What do they call a guitar solo in China? A: Too Ning.

20. Q: How do you know if an Chinaman robbed your house? A: Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway.

#19 – 10. China Jokes

19. Q: Did you hear the one about the Chinese Godfather? A: He makes you an offer you can’t understand.

18. Just found out today that my best friend is Chinese. I always thought he was just tired.

17. Q: How many Chinamen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It doesn’t matter because they’re all to short.

16. Q: What is purple and long? A: The grape wall of China.

15. Q: Why do the Chinese hate American football? A: They spend 13 hours a day making them.

14. Q: What do you call a guy thats half Mexican and half Chinese that wears only one sneaker?  A: Juan Chu

13. Q: What did one Chu say to the other Chu? A: Is dat Chu bro?

12. Q: Did you hear about the new American Express Card they are issuing in Red China? A: You never leave home.

11. Q: What do you call a Chinese Billionaire? A: Cha Ching!

10. Q: What do you call a Chinese rapper? A: Vanilla Rice

#9 – 1. China Jokes

9. Q: What do you call a drive by shooting where a Chinese guy gets shot? A: CAPPUCINO (CAP-A-CHINO)

8. If Japanese Pop is Jpop then what is Chinese rap? CRAP?

7. Q: What do you call a dumb Chinese prostitute? A: Wun Dum Ho

6. Q: Why did Mark Zuckerberg visit Beijing? A: To see the “Great Firewall”.

5. Q: What is Jackie Chans favourite drink? A: Water

4. Q: What do you call a Chinese paralympian? A: Lim Ping

3. Q: Why wasn’t Jesus born in China? A: He couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin.

2. Q: How do you know if a Chinese gang robbed your house? A: All the rice is gone and 3 hours later they’re still trying to backup out of the driveway.

1.Q: What do the Chinese do during erections? A: They vote.

Ideas for the top 82 China jokes came from the following sources.^[1]Jokes 4 Us – China Joke^[2]Quick, Funny Jokes! – China, Chinese Jokes^[3]The Best Funny Short Jokes – The Best Funny Chinese Jokes