Top 83 Bad Jokes
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Not every joke is great. However some are worse than others. With that in mind, check out the top 83 bad jokes!
Table of Contents
#83 – 80. Bad Jokes
83. What does a baby computer call its father? Data.
82. The guy that invented the umbrella was gonna call it the brella. But he hesitated.
81. Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD.
80. Fun fact: Australia’s biggest export is boomerangs. It’s also their biggest import.
#79 – 70. Bad Jokes
79. What kind of car does an egg drive? A Yolkswagen.
78. What do you call a factory that sells generally decent goods? A satisfactory.
77. When’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie!
76. Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.
75. How did Ebenezer Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed!
74. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
73. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
72. Before the invention of the wheel… everything was a drag!
71. What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
70. Do you remember that joke I told you about my spine? It was about a weak back!
#69 – 60. Bad Jokes
69. What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.
68. Arteries will always have a special place in my heart.
67. Which knight invented King Arthur’s Round Table? Sir Cumference.
66. What do you give to a sick lemon? Lemon aid!
65. What do you call it when Dwayne Johnson buys a cutting tool? Rock pay-for scissors.
64. What do you do when you see a spaceman? Park in it, man.
63. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it!
62. What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!
61. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
60. Did you hear about the mediocre restaurant on the moon? It has great food but no atmosphere.
#59 – 50. Bad Jokes
59. What kind of car runs on leaves? An autumn-mobile!
58. What did the custodian say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
57. How do you organize an astronomer’s party? You planet.
56. What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.
55. What kinds of pictures do hermit crabs take? Shellfies.
54. What do you call a person with a briefcase in a tree? A branch manager.
53. What do bees do if they need a ride? Wait at the buzz stop!
52. Why are there gates around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in!
51. Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side!
50. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
#49 – 40. Bad Jokes
49. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? Poor guy really needed some space.
48. Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything.
47. A communist joke is not funny unless everyone gets it.
46. Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field.
45. What’s the best way to carve wood? Whittle by whittle.
44. Why should you never eat a clock? Because it’s too time-consuming.
43. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
42. I’d like to go to Holland someday. Wooden shoe?
41. What happens when you witness a ship wreck? You let it sink in.
40. I’m really excited for the next autopsy club. It’s open Mike night!
#39 – 30. Bad Jokes
39. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
38. I just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
37. A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
36. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!
35. What did the teacher do with the student’s report on cheese? She grated it.
34. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little hoarse.
33. When is a door not really a door? When it’s really ajar.
32. What’s the action like at a circus? In-tents.
31. What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? “HDMI.”
30. What did the duck say when she bought a lipstick? Put it on my bill!
#29 – 20. Bad Jokes
29. What should a sick bird do? Get tweetment.
28. What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing. They fast.
27. What do you call a monkey that loves Doritos? A chipmunk!
26. What do you call a hippie’s wife? A Mississippi!
25. What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
24. Careful, the grass is dangerous! It’s full of blades!
23. At what time did you go to the dentist? Tooth hurty.
22. What do you call a farm that makes bad jokes? Corny!
21. I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.
20. What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? One you’ll see later, the other you’ll see in a while.
#19 – 10. Bad Jokes
19. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’re bagels!
18. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!
17. Why was the math teacher late to work? She took the rhombus.
16. How can you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints.
15. My daughter thinks I don’t give her enough privacy. At least that’s what she wrote in her diary.
14. What do you get a man with the heart of a lion? A lifetime ban from the zoo.
13. What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
12. What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain? Hi Cliff!
11. Why are colds bad criminals? Because they’re easy to catch.
10. What do you call a fly without wings? A walk!
#9 – 1. Bad Jokes
9. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
8. Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
7. Why did the baby cookie cry? Because its mother was a wafer so long.
6. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time!
5. I want a job cleaning mirrors. It’s something I can really see myself doing.
4. What grades did the pirate get on his report card? Seven Cs.
3. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? “Aye, matey!”
2. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
1. Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Ideas for the top 83 bad jokes come from the following sources[1]Parade – 175 Bad Joke That Are So Cringeworthy, You Can’t Help But Crack Up[2]BestLife – 165 Jokes So Bad They’re Actually Funny[3]inews – 115 of the best bad joke that will make you cringe[4]Ponly – 154 bad joke
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