Top 54 Mother Jokes for Mother’s Day

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Mother’s Day is a time to show your love to your mother. However, it is also a great time to make some jokes. With that in mind, check out the top 54 Mother jokes.

#54 – 50. Mother Jokes

54. My mom says its her house but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too

53. Mum: The amazing ability to hear a sneeze through 3 closed doors in the middle of the night, three bedrooms away… while Daddy snores next to you.

52. Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry? A: Because his mom was in a jam!

51. Q: What did the baby Egyptian say when he got lost? A: I want my mummy.

50. Son: “Mom can I get twenty bucks” Mom: Does it look like I am made of money Son: “Well isn’t that what M.O.M stands for?”

#49 – 40. Mother Jokes

49. Why is Daenarys Stormborn the patron saint of Mother’s Day? Because she’s the mother of all dragons

48. Son: When is Mother’s Day Dad? Dad wearily unplugging the vacuum, “Every day son, every day.”

47. My mother gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, she believed in me.

46. A mother is trying to get her son to eat carrots. “Carrots are good for your eyes,” she says. “How do you know?” the son asks. The mother replies, “Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?”

45. A mother said to her son, “Look at that kid over there; he’s not misbehaving.” The son replied, “Maybe he has good parents then!”

44. “People who say they sleep like a baby don’t have one.”

43. Daughter: Mum, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world? Mum: I don’t know dear, you’d have to ask Grandma.

42. My mom likes to play this game called “Yell from four rooms away” and get upset when I can’t hear her.

41. Q: What did the momma say to the foal? A: Its pasture your bedtime

40. Q: What book do moms like the most? A: “Their husbands checkbook!”

#39 – 30. Mother Jokes

39. All mothers have intuition. Great mothers have radar.

38. Q: Why don’t mothers wear watches? A: There’s a clock on the stove.

37. Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? A: “Where’s Popcorn?”

36. Definiton: Jumper – something you wear when your mother gets cold.

35. Son: “Mum, stop making jokes you’re not funny.” Mum: “I made you.”

34. She works hard for no money… So you better treat her right.

33. Chris: Why is a computer so smart? Mom: It listens to its motherboard.

32. Baby snake: Mommy, are we poisonous? Mommy snake: Yes, son. Why? Baby snake: I just bit my tongue!

31. Q: What do you call a mom who can’t draw? A: Tracy.

30. Why is Mother’s Day before Father’s Day? So the kids can spend all their Christmas money on Mum.

#29 – 20. Mother Jokes

29. I saw Mummy asking Santa why he didn’t put his dishes in the dishwasher.

28. Bought my Mum a mug which says, “Happy Mother’s day from the World’s Worst Son”. I forgot to mail it but I think she knows.

27. What’s the hardest thing your mother makes you swallow? The fact they’re always right.

26. Q: Did you hear the song about the hot mom? A: It goes “My milfshake brings all the boys to the yard.”

25. Q: What do you call a small mom? A: minimum.

24. My Mum’s best dish is store bought chocolate cookies.

23. A kid asks his dad, “What’s a man?” The dad says, “A man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family.” The kid says, “I hope one day I can be a man just like mom!”

22. Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached? Student: When my mother sees my report card!

21. What’s the difference between Superman and Mothers? Superman’s just a superhero now and then. Mums are superheroes all the time.

20. To Mum: I’m hungry, I’m tired, I’m cold, I’m hot, Can I have…, Where are you? To Dad: Where’s Mum?

#19 – 10. Mother Jokes

19. Sunday school teacher: Tell me, Johnny. Do you say prayers before eating? Johnny: No, ma’am, I don’t have to. My Mum’s a good cook.

18. Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me!

17. What three words solves Dad’s every problem? Ask your mother.

16. Q: Why is a computer so smart? A: Cause it listens to its motherboard.

15. My mother said, “You won’t amount to anything because you procrastinate.” I said, “Oh yea”..Just you wait.”

14. Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his mother was a wafer so long!

13. A boy goes to a strip club. His MOM gets angry Mom :Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see? BOY: Yes, I saw dad!

12. Two men are talking and one says to the other, “My wife’s doctor says she has menopause, and, man, has she been moody lately. How long do the symptoms of menopause usually last?” The other man replies, “Let me put it this way: menopause will be listed as the cause on your death certificate.”

11. Q: What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? A: It’s time to go to sweep!

10. Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young.

#9 – 1. Mother Jokes

9. Q: What did mommy spider say to baby spider? A: You spend too much time on the web.

8. Daughter: Mum, I need my personal space! Mum: You came out of my personal space.

7. “Happy Mother’s Day. Sorry I wrecked your vagina.” 

6. Q: What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? A: catch up!

5. The only time your mom smiled when you were crying….. is when you were born.

4. I love strong, powerful mothers. They can open jars without my help.

3. A kid walks up to his mom and asks, “Mom, can I go bungee jumping?” The mom says “No, you were born from broken rubber and I don’t want you to go out the same way!”

2. Why don’t they have Mother’s Day sales? Because Mothers are priceless.

1.Q: What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumour (or gossip)? A: The internet, Telephone, Tell your mom.

Ideas for the top 54 Mother Jokes were taken from the following source. ^[1]Jokes 4 Us – Mothers Day Jokes^[2]Yellow Blogtopus – The 75 Best Mother’s Day Jokes Outrageous