Top 85 Yoga Jokes

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Yoga is a great way to exercise and stay healthy. With that in mind, check out the top 85 yoga jokes.

#85 – 80. Yoga Jokes

85. What do you call doing yoga on vacation? Pilates in the Caribbean.

84. Why is it easy to make an appointment with a yoga teacher? They’re just so flexible.

83. My friend claims yoga is the best possible thing you can do for your body. Seems like a bit of a stretch.

82. What do you call women doing yoga in see through Lululemon pants? Over-ex-posers.

81. I didn’t believe yoga would fix my posture…But I stand corrected.

80. A husband walks into the bedroom, is shocked by what he sees and shouts, “Oh my God Carol, no!” She explains, “But I told you all about us.” He cried, “I thought you said you were doing YOGA!” “Embarrassing this is.”

#79 – 70. Yoga Jokes

79. I’ve been practicing yoga for decades. It’s been a long stretch.

78. Why is the apple so good at yoga? He’s got great core.

77. How does the yogi order a pizza slice? Make me one with everything!

76. Why did the yogi return the vacuum cleaner? It came with too many attachments.

75. Yoga class instructor: Welcome. Uhh why are you carrying a lightsaber? Me: Misread the brochure I have.

74. My yoga teacher was drunk yesterday. He put me in a really awkward position.

73. Why does the bear love yoga class? It’s a good chance to paws and reflect.

72. I’m on vacation with my wife and she asks me “do you want to join me for sunrise yoga tomorrow?” I replied ‘namaste in bed’

71. What did the cobra say to the downward facing dog? I’m not a poser you are.

70. What kind of yoga do you do in a casket? De-compose.

#69 – 60. Yoga Jokes

69. What did the yogi say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

68. My yoga teacher said that downward dog will take one to a place of spiritual revelation. That’s a big stretch.

67. People say yoga will change you life. I think that’s a bit of a stretch.

66. Yoga as we know it today is a modern invention and anyone who disagrees is…merely posturing.

65. My girlfriend wants to open a yoga studio, even though she currently cannot afford it. I told her it’s a bit of a stretch.

64. I appreciate my yoga instructor She really bends over backwards for me

63. During a hot and sweaty yoga session, a femur and a humerus got real close. What did the humerus say to the femur? “Quite the trochanter”.

62. I tried to get my grandpa to go to yoga class yesterday…It was a bit of a stretch.

61. I’ve been doing yoga for 5 years. It’s been a long stretch

60. Why does everyone love yoga teachers? They bend over backwards for you.

#59 – 50. Yoga Jokes

59. My yoga instructor was really drunk yesterday…which put me in an awkward position.

58. What kind of car is the best at yoga? Mercedes Bends.

57. What does the job ad on the door of the yoga studio say? Inquire within.

56. What’s a pirate’s favorite yoga pose? The plank.

55. What does the yogi say when she gets electrocuted? Ohmmmmmm!

54. What did the yogi tell his dog? Nama-stay!

53. Why didn’t the yogi vacuum in the corner? Because he has no attachments.

52. What do you call a Turtle that does yoga? Wakka Wakka U?

51. What kind of yoga moves are popular at nudist yoga? Over-ex-poses.

50. 90% of the women that wear yoga pants don’t do yoga And 100% of men don’t care.

#49 – 40. Yoga Jokes

49. What does a dyslexic cow say? Ommmmmmmmmm.

48. I’m worried I’m not that good at yoga. Some days, I feel like just a poser.

47. Where do fish go to do yoga? The river bend

46. What movie makes women want to stretch? “Sisterhood of the Traveling Yoga Pants”

45. What did the yogi tell his mom when she wanted to leave in the middle of yoga class? Nah ma, stay!

44. India gave us the Kama Sutra and Yoga, which is training to help doing the Kama Sutra. Thanks Tindia.

43. What did the yoga teacher say when she performed a citizen’s arrest? You’ve got the right to remain silent!

42. What do you call someone doing yoga with the flu? Sick and twisted.

41. What do you call it when you kill a yoga teacher before a session? Premeditated murder

40. What do you say at the end of a squirrel yoga class? Nutmaste.

#39 – 30. Yoga Jokes

39. What kind of animal does yoga? A Shangri-llama.

38. My doctor doesn’t want me to go to yoga anymore. He thinks I self-meditate too much.

37. My yoga instructor said I could start her class at 3pm or 4pm. She was very flexible.

36. What did the yoga teacher told the gal that asked her if she’d like to grab a drink after class? Nah, must stay.

35. A girl asked me if I wanted to join her in yoga at 6 am I told her, “namaste in bed”.

34. My friend tried to convince me that yoga is a workout…I told him it’s a bit of a stretch

33. What do you get charged with if you kill a yoga teacher before the start of class? Premeditated murder.

32. What does the yoga teacher want for their birthday? All they want is your presence.

31. What do you get when you combine Starbucks and a yoga class? I don’t know, but there’s probably a hipster close by.

30. Did you see the romantic comedy with Meg Ryan as a yogini? It’s called “Yoga mail”.

#29 – 20. Yoga Jokes

29. What did the yogi tell the vacuum salesman? Too many attachments.

28. What’s the most romantic kind of yoga position a man can do? Pro-pose.

27. My Yoga instructor was so hot, I didn’t want to leave the studio…She kept telling me it was done but I said “namaste”

26. The yoga teacher stretches her legs to the ceiling and suddenly farts A student asks: “what position is that supposed to be?” The teacher answers: “scented candle”

25. What’s the most dangerous yoga move? Corpse pose.

24. I run a meditation and yoga studio for angry donkeys…It’s called “peace of ass”

23. What kind of yogas do cadavers do? Decom-pose.

22. What’s a pirate’s least favorite yoga move? The plank pose.

21. What did the yogi put on the sign outside his studio? Inquire Within.

20. I think I thought of a great joke about yoga But you might need to help me with the punchline, it’s a bit of a stretch.

#19 – 10. Yoga Jokes

19. What did the dyslexic cow say in yoga class?Oooooom.

18. What was the woman angry after her yoga class? She was bent out of shape.

17. Why did the yogi refuse novocaine at the dentist’s? He wanted to transcend-dental-medication!

16. My doctor suggested yoga to reduce stress. I told her that sounded like a stretch.

15. Why did the yogi get fired from her job as a cashier? Because she kept saying change comes from within.

14. Why did the bagel struggle in yoga class? It couldn’t find its center.

13. Mercedes pulled up to do some yoga in a really nice car Mercedes bends

12. What do you call a bagel that has mastered yoga? A pretzel.

11. How do you know when a yoga teacher is angry? He gets incensed.

10. What did the yoga teacher say when her friend asked her to leave the party? Nah, Imma stay.

#9 – 1. Yoga Jokes

9. What did the yoga instructor say when the blackjack dealer asked him if he wanted another card? Namaste

8. Yoga instructor killed one of his clients. The murder was premeditated.

7. I phoned up my local yoga centre to book a lesson. They said, “how flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Thursdays.”

6. Job interview for yoga instructor Guy: so what are the hours like here? Yoga instructor: ohhh were veryyyy flexible

5. Where do you go if you can’t afford yoga classes? The omless shelter.

4. Why can’t you hang around after a yoga class? Because, none must stay.

3. Why do deaf guys like women in yoga pants? They can read lips

2. My yoga pants have never been to yoga.

1. What do yoga pants eat for dessert? Lululemon meringue pie.

Ideas for the top 85 yoga jokes come from the following sources.^[1]Scary Mommy – These 35 Hilarious Yoga Joke Will Have You Laughing Ohm Loud^[2]upjoke – yoga joke^[3]jokes4us – yoga joke