Top 86 Funny Motivational Quotes

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Do you need to get motivated? Do you also like to laugh? Then you are in the right place. Check out the top 86 funny motivational quotes.

#86 – 80. Funny Motivational Quotes

86. “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright

85. “It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

84. “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms” Michael Scott

83. “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” – Mark Twain

82. “Bad decisions make good stories.” Ellis Vidler

81. “It takes sunshine and rain to make a rainbow. There would be no rainbows without sunshine and rain.“ Roy T. Bennett

80. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” Zig Ziglar

#79 – 70. Funny Motivational Quotes

79. “Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.” – Mae West

78. “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” – Mark Twain

77. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” Marilyn Monroe

76. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” Robin Williams

75. “There are no traffic jams along the extra mile.“ Roger Staubach

74. “My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”  – Dave Barry

73. “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” Dwight D. Eisenhower

72. “Trying is the first step toward failure.” Homer Simpson

71. “Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats.” – Voltaire

70. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” Oscar Wilde

#69 – 60. Funny Motivational Quotes

69. “Only he who attempts the absurd is capable of achieving the impossible.“ Miguel de Unamuno

68. “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” Robert Bloch

67. “There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

66. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Thomas Eddison

65. “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach

64. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” Winnie the Pooh

63. “Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their heads turned up way too loud to hear it.” Brian Vaszily

62. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” Charles Schulz

61. “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.” – Robert Frost

60. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” Billie Burke

#59 – 50. Funny Motivational Quotes

59. “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.“ Thomas A. Edison

58. “The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein

57. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese

56. “Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha.” Robert Brault

55. “If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big.“ Donald Trump

54. “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m possible!” Audrey Hepburn

53. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realise I should have been more specific.” Lily Tomlin

52. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” Joe Girard

51. “When I hear somebody sigh, Life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’” – Sydney Harris

50. “When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best – that is inspiration.” – Robert Bresson

#49 – 40. Funny Motivational Quotes

49. “Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent.” – Langston Coleman

48. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” Dalai Lama

47. “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” – George Bernard Shaw

46. “You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” – Jack London

45. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

44. “The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me.” Ayn Rand.

43. “If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.” Elvis Presley

42. “Edison failed 10,000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times.“ Napoleon Hill

41. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin

40. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” Steven Wright

#39 – 30. Funny Motivational Quotes

39. “It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.” – Robert Benchley

38. “It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.”  Ashleigh Brilliant

37. “Life is like the stock market. Some days you’re up. Some days you’re down. And some days you feel like something the bull left behind.“ Paula Wall

36. “I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx

35. “Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!” Jeffrey Gitomer

34. “If you hang out with chickens, you’re going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you’re going to fly.“ Steve Maraboli

33. “Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.” Jason Love

32. “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.“ Phyllis Diller

31. “A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.” Justin Sewell

30. “It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.” – Eugene Ionesco Decouvertes

#29 – 20. Funny Motivational Quotes

29. “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.“ Oscar Wilde

28. “Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.“ Robert Downey Jr.

27. “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.“ Margaret Mead

26. “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” Tom Lehrer

25. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” Terry Pratchett

24. “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!“ Audrey Hepburn

23. “I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess.” Cassandra Duffy

22. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” Cathy Guisewite

21. “I cannot afford to waste my time making money.” – Louis Agassiz

20. “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” – Maureen Dowd

#19 – 10. Funny Motivational Quotes

19. “A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” Mark Twain

18. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” Robert Frost

17. “Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.” – Kyle Chandler

16. “Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.” Unknown

15. “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” Benjamin Franklin

14. “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.”  – Oscar Wilde

13. “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” Franklin P. Jones

12. “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go.” – Dr. Seuss

11. “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” – Yogi Berra

10. “Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.“ Marilyn Monroe

#9 – 1. Funny Motivational Quotes

9. “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms” Michael Scott

8. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles Schulz

7. “Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.“ Pablo Picasso

6. “Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing ’til it gets there.“ Josh Billings

5. “If you’re going through hell, keep going.“ Winston Churchill

4. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” Will Rogers

3. “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” – Mark Twain

2. “The key to success is not through achievement but through enthusiasm.” – Malcolm Forbes

1.“The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.“ Arthur C. Clarke

Ideas for the top 86 funny motivational quotes come from the following sources.^[1]coburg banks – 50 Funny Motivational Quote To Put A Smile On Your Face^[2]Everyday Power – Funny Inspirational Quote Celebrating Life, Love, & Struggles^[3]Planet of Success – 75 Funny Motivational Quote