Top 35 Lesbian and Gay Jokes

Les Listes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

There is nothing wrong with being gay. However, that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t lead to funny situations. With that in mind, check out the top 35 lesbian and gay jokes.

#35 – 30. Lesbian and Gay Jokes

35. My mates call me gay because I can’t stay on a skateboard for longer than a minute. I’d like to see them try it with high heels on.

34. Did you hear about the two lesbians who bought an organ so they could play hymns?

33. How do lesbians have sex? The question is how do they stop.

32. Q: What’s the difference between a lesbian finger-fucking a blonde and a Schwinn at the side of the road? A: One’s a bike in a ditch, and the other’s…

31. The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch…

30. Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don’t have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.

#29 – 20. Lesbian and Gay Jokes

29. What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders.

28. Now that India has allowed homosexuality, the first lesbian couple have got married. So congratulations to Sukma Flaps and Makemaclit Singh

27. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? Even the pool table has no balls.

26. Q: What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue? A: Well hung.

25. Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian? A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!

24. Men need to stop staring and yelling at me when I wear yoga pants. I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for me, because it’s comfortable…Who cares if you can see my balls?

23. Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.

22. What do you call 50 lesbians and 50 government employees in one room? 100 people that don’t do dick!

21. Someone asked me how I view Lesbian relationships. Apparently, “in HD” wasn’t the correct answer.

20. Hurricanes are like women: they enter your life et and wild and they leave with your lawn furniture that you bought together.

#19 – 10. Lesbian and Gay Jokes

19. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotopis

18. How do lesbians handle their liquor? By the ears. (Lick her)

17. How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters? All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.

16. Men are like…..Blenders. You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.

15. Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe? A. They’re called Dikes.

14. What’s the difference between a straight woman and a bisexual woman? 4 drinks.

13. Same sex marriage? Hell, I know couples who would be happy with a SOME sex marriagesecond

12. What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment? Potpourri.

11. Q: What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? A: Snap-on tools!

10. Q: Why was the lesbian sick? A: She was lacking vitamin D.

#9 – 1. Lesbian and Gay Jokes

9. How does lesbian sex work? Both people cum.

8. Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!

7. Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.

6. Q. Did you hear about the blonde lesbian? A. She kept having affairs with men!

5. I was minding my own business in the pub last night when a man came over to me and said, “You look like a poof.” I was so outraged I immediately challenged him to a dance off.

4. “My love, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?” “I’d say you’re a lesbian!”

3. Two couples decide to spend the weekend away together at a posh hotel. When they get there, one guy suggests they indulge in partner-swapping as a trial. After 2 hours of solid sex by the fireside, the guy turned to his new partner and said, “Wow! This is the very best sex I’ve had in years! I wonder how the girls are doing?”

2. Q: What do you call a lesbian with eight girlfriends? A: An octopus.

1.What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See ya next month.

Ideas for the top 35 gay jokes come from the following sources.^[1]SuperJokes – GAY / LESBIAN^[2]Buzzfeed – 18 Dirty Jokes For Every Woman Who’s Slept With A Woman^[3]Unijokes – The best lesbian jokes