Top 90 Batman Jokes

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Batman is one of the most famous and loved characters of the DC comics books. With that in mind, check out the top 90 Batman jokes.

#90 – 80. Batman Jokes

90. Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn’t want to get shot.

89. What did Bruce Wayne’s mom put over his crib? A bat mobile.

88. Why did Bruce Wayne’s movie date go so badly? He had bat breath.

87. What do you call it when Batman skips Church? Christian Bale.

86. One time I went to Blockbusters and asked if I could rent Batman Forever…The man at the counter said, “NO! You can only rent it for the week”!

85. Batman walked into a bar, but got kicked out cause his mask didn’t cover his mouth.

84. Why can’t Batman play chess using the white pieces? He always has to be the Dark Knight.

83. Why did all the pictures come out dark from Batman’s party? He forgot to invite the Flash.

82. Why does Batman suck at card games? He always gets The Joker.

81. Q: How many caped crusaders does it take to change a light-bulb? A: None – they like it dark.

80. What is it called when Bruce Wayne forgets to pay the electric bill? A dark night.

#79 – 70. Batman Jokes

79. What do you call it when Batman is crossed with a tree?  Spruce Wayne.

78. Why did Mrs. Batman name their son Gotham? Because Batman always answers to “Gotham needs you.”

77. Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied? Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.

76. What did Batman do when he went shopping? Got ham.

75. My friend said I’m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to Batman. What a joker.

74. Why is Batman always serious?  Because he isn’t the Joker!

73. What does Batgirl wear to bed? Her Dark Knight gown.

72. Why is Two Face one of the better villains? Because he’s only half bad.

71. Where do Batman’s fish live? In the bat tub.

70. Why is Batman so good at hitting home runs? He has a batting cage.

#69 – 60. Batman Jokes

69. Why does Robin only wear bright colors? Easy. Batman doesn’t want to get shot.

68. What do you get for a Batman who has everything? Bat friends.

67. Why was Bruce Wayne so popular on the cricket team?   Because he was the best ever bat man.

66. What position did Bruce Wayne play on the school baseball team?  Bat-boy.

65. Why can’t Bruce Wayne get a second date? He has bat breath.

64. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile, Robin.

63. Batman walks into a bar… and is kicked out because his mask doesn’t cover his mouth!

62. What’s Batman’s favorite part of a joke? The punchline.

61. Batman and a set of false teeth have a lot in common; they both only come out at night.

60. How does Batboy become Batman? He has a Bat-Mitzvah.

#59 – 50. Batman Jokes

59. Q: What do you get when you combine Robin with a milk shake machine? A: Robin the Boy Blender.

58. Q: Why did Bruce’s dentist give him mouth wash? A: Because he had bat breath.

57. What did the loaf of bread say to Batman? “Rye so serious?”

56. What’s Batman’s favorite drink? Vigilan-tea.

55. How does Batman like his coffee? Black as night.

54. What does Batman put in his drinks at the bar? Just-ice.

53. What type of exercise does Batman always want to do? Aero-batics.

52. What did Batman’s friend say to him when he’d returned from holiday?  Welcome bat.

51. What do you get when you roll over Batman and Robin? Flat man and ribbon.

50. Who do you think is the best businessperson: Batman or Superman?  It’s obviously Superman; there aren’t any batmarkets!

#49 – 40. Batman Jokes

49. Why couldn’t Batman go fishing? Robin had eaten the worms.

48. Why did Batman take more photographs?  Because he’d forgotten to use the Flash the first time.

47. Batman doesn’t make New Year’s Resolutions. He enforces them.

46. How does Batman’s mum call him for dinner?  Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner. . . Batman!

45. Why is Batman so super at cards? Because he always gets the Joker.

44. Have you heard of Batman’s brother, High-Hatman? He’s a cymbal of justice.

43. What happened when Batman & Robin were run over by a steam roller? They became Flatman and Ribbon.

42. Holy Kleenex Batman! It was right under our nose and we blew it!

41. Why does Batman wear a mask? Because the citizens of Gotham aren’t morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis.

40. How does Batman take care of Poison Ivy? Ointment.

#39 – 30. Batman Jokes

39. Did you hear about Batman climbing up the tree?  He was trying to see if he could find Robin’s nest.

38. Batman refuses to use the white pieces when he plays chess; he always has to be the Dark Knight.

37. Does Netflix have Batman Forever? Nah. Just until the end of the year.

36. How come Batman shampoo exists, but not conditioner Gordon?

35. Where does Batman go when he wants to pee? The batroom.

34. What’s the difference between Batman and a criminal? Batman can go into a store without Robin.

33. Why did Alfred open his umbrella at Batman’s family reunion? Because it was a Wayne-y day.

32. Why did Batman ask Mr Freeze where he buys his clothes from?  He thought they looked cool.

31. Why can’t Batman go fishing? Robin always eats the worms.

30. What is Bruce Wayne’s favorite baseball position? Bat boy.

#29 – 20. Batman Jokes

29. Batman walked into a bar…he got kicked out cause his mask didn’t cover his mouth

28. What is Bruce Wayne’s favourite food to make for lunch?  He tells me it’s alpha-bat-ti  spaghetti.

27. When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it. That’s Arkham’s Razor.

26. What’s the difference between Batman and the Penguin?  You never see Batman robin!

25. Why is Two Face one of the best villains? Because he’s not half bad.

24. What did Poison Ivy change outfits at the superheroes’ ball? She wanted to wear her Dark Knight gown.

23. I asked Netflix if they had Batman Forever, but they said only until the end of the month.

22. What do you get when you cross Batman with a Christmas tree? Spruce Wayne.

21. What part of a joke does Batman like best?  The punch line.

20. You might think Batman was born in Gotham, but he was actually born in South Africa. Capetown, to be exact.

#19 – 10. Batman Jokes

19. How many caped crusaders does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They like it dark.

18. What’s Batman’s favorite Chinese dish? Kung POW chicken.

17. What did Batman do at the shops?  Got-ham.

16. What happens when Batman and Robin fight a steamroller? They become Flatman and Ribbon!

15. Why does Batman hate camping? Poison Ivy.

14. What’s Batman’s favorite fruit? Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.

13. Where does Bruce Wayne get all his energy from? Bat-teries.

12. Why doesn’t Batman like going for walks in nature? He’s worried about coming across poison ivy.

11. What does Batman put in his whiskey? Just ice.

10. My friend said I’m starting to annoy him because I relate everything to Batman. What a joker!

#9 – 1. Batman Jokes

9. What do you get when you combine Robin with a Vita-Mix? Robin the Boy Blender.

8. What do you call a three-year old Batman who has fallen off his bike?  Bruised Wayne.

7. Why doesn’t Batman like Mr. Freeze? He always gives him the cold shoulder.

6. Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar. Followed by Batman.

5. What does Batgirl wear to the superhero ball? Her Dark Knight gown.

4. What do you call an injured Batman? Bruised Wayne.

3. What’s Batman’s favorite kind of Chinese food? Kung Pow chicken.

2. What type of diet did Mr. Freeze tell Batman he would like?  The Meltdown diet.

1. Batman’s favourite takeaway is Chinese because he loves Kung POW chicken!

Ideas for the top 90 Batman jokes come from the following sources.^[1]ScaryMommy – Did You Hear The One About The Caped Crusader? 45+ Hilarious Batman Joke And Puns^[2]kidadl – 36 Of The Best Batman Joke For Your Little Jokers^[3]upjoke – batman joke^[4]laffgaff – Batman Joke & Puns^[5]Fun Kids Jokes – Batman joke