Funny Quotes and Sayings - 109 From Around the World

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Every language has there own funny quotes and funny way of saying things. Sometimes, when you translate the phrases they don’t make a lot of sense. However, when you delve a little bit deeper, these funny quotes really help you better understand the culture. Check out below for 109 funny quotes and sayings from around the world.

Arabic Funny Quotes

An ant milker = Someone who is a tightwad.
God gives nuts to the man with no teeth = a statement about irony.

Armenia

Stop ironing my head! = Stop annoying me!

Australia

Flat out like a lizard drinking = You are extremely busy.

Cheyenne Funny Quotes

The turtle is shrouded = There’s low visibility.
My tapeworm can almost talk by itself = My stomach is growling.

China

Fruits from the same tree have different tastes = Members of the same family have different personalities.
Playing an instrument to a cow = Playing to deaf ears or someone who doesn’t understand.
Drawing a snake with feet = Telling a story with long winded, unnecessary information.

Columbia

To suck a rooster = To procrastinate or waste time.

Costa Rica

To pull a cake = to screw something up.
The pussy cat will come to the tiny door = What goes around comes around.

Croatia

Balls of a swan = It means something that’s impossible.

Netherlands

I’m sweating carrots = I’m sweating like a pig.
To have a stick in your ear = To not listen to someone
Pulling an old cow out of the ditch = Bring up an old argument in Holland. Presumably, the argument, like an old cow, should be just left there.

Estonia

To make an elephant out of a gnat = To make a mountain out of a molehill.

Finland

To pace around hot porridge like a cat = To beat about the bush.
To let a frog out of your mouth = To say the wrong thing.

France

To have teeth that scratch the floor = To be extremely ambitious.
To pedal in the sauerkraut = To go nowhere fast.
The carrots are cooked! = This situation can’t be changed.
A hungry stomach has no ears = You can’t concentrate without food in your tum tum.
To jump from the cock to the donkey = It means to keep changing topics without logic in a conversation.
Don’t marry foxes to hens = Some people just aren’t a good match.
To have the midday demon = To have a midlife crisis.
To have mustard going up their nose = losing your temper.
It’s as smooth as baby Jesus in velvet knickerbockers = The wine is smooth.
To have one’s arse bordered by noodles = To be extremely lucky.
He tries to fart higher than their own arse = This describes a person with high pretensions.
To talk like a Spanish cow = to speak poorly.
I have other cats to whip = I have other things to do.
To give one’s tongue to the cat = I can’t guess – tell me the answer.
To swallow grass snakes = It means being so insulted that you’re not able to reply.
Bang your butt on the ground = To die laughing.
To look at each other like earthenware dogs = to look at each other coldly, with distrust.

Gaelic Funny Quotes

A cat in mittens won’t catch mice = Being careful and polite doesn’t always get things done.

Germany

You have tomatoes on your eyes = You’re not seeing what everyone else is.
Break a neck and leg = Break a leg.
To live like a maggot in bacon = To live a life of luxury.
A cat’s jump = A short distance away
Transformation of the surrounding landscape into an asparagus field = This is a pejorative phrase used to criticize the impact of wind farms on the landscape.
Only pigs drink alone = If you’re drinking alone, you might be an alcoholic.
An elephant made out of a fly = Making a big deal out of nothing.
I think my pig whistles = I can’t believe it!
Everything has one end, only the sausage has two = Everything comes to an end.
She’s playing the insulted sausage = She’s in a huff.
There is no standing on one leg = You need at least two drinks to have a good time.
I only understand the train station = I don’t understand a thing about what that person is saying.
To buy a cat in a sack = That a buyer purchased something without inspecting it first.

Hindi Funny Quotes

To excrete embers = To get very angry.

Italy

To have one’s eyes lined with ham = Can’t see the wood for the trees.
Into the mouth of the wolf = Break a leg.
Jump ditches the long way = Doing something difficult with ease.
To treat you with fish in your face = To disrespect someone.
Drunk as a monkey = very very drunk.

Japan

To have a wide face = To have lots of friends.
A frog in a well does not know the great sea = There’s more going on than you know, try and see the big picture.
Straighten the horns and kill the bull = Stuffing something up completely by insisting on correcting a minor flaw. The Japanese are not as pernickety as you thought.
To wear a cat on one’s head = You’re hiding your claws and pretending to be a nice, harmless person.

Kenya

When elephants fight, it is the grass that gets hurt = Fights of the powerful only hurt the little guys.
Slippery ground does not recognize a king = Even the most powerful people are just human deep down.

Korea

It’s a carrot = Of course.
A dog with feces scolds a dog with husks of grain = People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
50 steps are similar to 100 steps = Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

Lithuania

A good ploughman can plough even with a goose = Good workers can do their work, even with rubbish tools.

Mongolia

God bless you and may your mustache grow like brushwood = Bless you (for when someone sneezes).

Norway

A raisin in the sausage = A pleasant surprise in something that was already good.

Philippines

Leave it to Batman = Some problems require superheroes to solve.

Poland

Not my circus, not my monkeys = Not my problem.
Don’t feed the donkey sponge cake = Don’t give fine treatment to those who don’t deserve it.
Did an elephant stomp on your ear? = You have no ear for music.
Did you fall from a Christmas tree? = You are not well informed, and it shows.

Portugal

He who doesn’t have a dog hunts with a cat = You make the most of what you’ve got.
Take your little horse away from the rain = Don’t hold your breath/it’s not going to happen.
To have little monkeys inside your head = To have a crazy idea.
Look like a silly cockroach = To be clumsy.
To push something with your belly = To keep postponing an important chore.
Pay the duck = To take the blame for something you did not do.

Romania

He who digs a pit for others will fall in it himself = What goes around, comes around.

Russia

I’m not hanging noodles on your ears = I’m not pulling your leg.
To live with wolves, you have to howl like a wolf = In dangerous situations, try and blend in.
To ride as a hare = To travel without a ticket
Going where the Czar goes on foot = Going to the toilet in Russia. Apparently, it was the only place the Czar wasn’t carried to.
Galloping across Europe = To do something hastily, haphazardly..
The thief has a burning hat = He has an uneasy conscience that betrays itself.
You can sharpen with an ax on top of this head = He’s a very stubborn person.

Spain

To give someone a pumpkin = To reject somebody/stand them up.
A cat in gloves catches no mice = Nice guys finish last.
The airplane got away from me = I forgot.
A lot of noise and no walnuts = All talk and no action.
You are very elbow = You’re so cheap.

Sweden

There’s no cow on the ice = Don’t worry/there’s no reason to panic.
The pillow is the best adviser = Sleep on a problem and see how you feel in the morning.
To slide in on a shrimp sandwich = It refers to somebody who didn’t have to work to get where they are.
It fell between chairs = It’s an excuse you use when two people were supposed to do it, but nobody did. It has evolved into the slightly ironic phrase, ‘It fell between the chair,’ which you use when you want to say,‘Yeah, I know I was supposed to do it but I forgot.

Serbia

Pretend to be an Englishman = That is, pretend that you are innocent and have no idea what is going on. The Serbs, it seems, have trust issues with the English.

Thailand

No skunk ever smells its own stink = People doing wrong often don’t know they’re doing it.
Take ears to the field, take eyes to the farm = It means ‘don’t pay any attention.’ Almost like ‘don’t bring your eyes and ears with you.’ If that were possible.
The hen sees the snake’s feet and the snake sees the hen’s boobs = It means two people know each other’s secrets.

Turkey

If the world flooded, it wouldn’t matter to the duck = Things that are bad for you, aren’t always bad for everyone.

Ukraine

Work is not a wolf, it doesn’t run into the woods = I can get back to that later.
My cottage is at the edge = It’s none of my business.
The devil always takes back his gifts = Easy com, easy go. Nothing lasts forever.